Meet my Guest:
Mary from Giving up on Perfect
Sometimes I go a little crazy.
Let me illustrate. A few years ago, my husband and I hosted weekly church meetings at our house for several weeks of the summer and fall. Every Sunday night, we had a handful of people from our church in our home. Some were friends, some were people we didn’t know outside of Sunday morning smiles.
One week, I put off my cleaning just a little too long. But rather than throw up my hands and accept that my house wouldn’t look perfect for our guests, I ran around the house like a madwoman, swiping and sweeping and sweating.
Ten minutes before our meeting was scheduled to begin, I found myself on my knees in the kitchen, scrubbing at a persistent spot and screaming at my husband.
Screaming.
Why? What was so important, so life-altering that I needed to scream at the man I love about it? I can’t even remember now. He probably hadn’t taken the trash out. Or something just as threatening to my very existence, to my very identify as a perfect hostess and housekeeper.
It was ugly, friends. I was ugly. And my house? Could not possibly be cute enough or clean enough to cover that up.
Seriously, who was I kidding? Did I honestly think that prior to that fateful afternoon, my friends and fellow churchgoers believed I was perfect? Did I truly believe they assumed my house was always sparkling clean?
And did it even matter? No. It doesn’t.
What matters – whether it’s a group of folks from church or a reunion of my high school friends or an impromptu holiday get-together with my family – is that I welcome guests with open arms and make them feel comfortable.
After all, they came to see me. Not my sparkly clean house and fancy-schmancy pastries.
Today I try to dial back the crazy when it comes to hosting events at my house. Planning ahead and starting early are always good strategies, and if that fails, I’ve devised a pretty good system of cleaning in a hurry
(sans screaming).
In addition to some deep breathing and a cleaning system, I’ve also developed a collection of never-fail, easy-peasy recipes that are always a crowd-pleaser. Dishes that don’t require two dozen ingredients or complicated math. Recipes that don’t require four hours to bake – or even turning the oven on at all! Here’s an example:
Chocolate Eclair Dessert
2 packages graham crackers
2 – 3 oz. packages instant vanilla pudding
3 cups milk
1 – 8 oz. tub of whipped topping
1 – 16 oz. can of chocolate frosting
Mix pudding, milk and whipped topping. Cover the bottom of a 9×13 pan with graham crackers. Pour half of the pudding mixture on top. Layer grahams, then pudding twice. Cover with graham crackers, then pour softened frosting on top. Refrigerate for at least an hour.
Now, there’s nothing I can do about the chocolate frosting. (Except lick the spoon. I can do that.) But you can use skim milk, sugar free pudding, low-fat graham crackers and fat-free whipped topping. Making those changes doesn’t really affect the taste and it might be enough to help you rationalize that second piece. I know it is for me.
So, that’s a little bit about me and my journey as a reluctant entertainer. Big thanks to Sandy for letting me post here today – and to you for reading!
Thank you, Mary, for being my guest today! Mary writes about family, faith, books, diet-friendly and fiber-filled foods like granola bars and nachos, celebrity look-alikes and chick flicks. You know, the important stuff. Don’t forget to follow her on Giving up on Perfect, one of my very favorite places to visit!
Hi, I'm Sandy. Five years ago I stocked up on beautiful glasses from the Dollar Store. As I started writing about dinner parties, I realized that this “icon” portrays a great message. It says that dinner parties are attainable, they are affordable, and that they can be beautiful even when on a budget. 
LOL at the screaming bit! I always find myself cleaning the house at the last minute before guests arrive. I guess it helps calms my nerves. LOL!
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Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Reply:
November 10th, 2009 at 9:37 am
I guess it just goes to show – what works for one person might not work for another. Last-minute cleaning does the OPPOSITE for my nerves!
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Mary…I can so relate with your post. Thankfully I was convicted to lighten up! I love that phrase “today I try to dial back the crazy” LOL …A very good idea.
Blessings.
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Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Reply:
November 10th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Thanks, Ellen. I’ve been convicted, too – a lot! I’m learning to chill out, but it is definitely a long process for me!!
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I am a clean freak and I hate having people over if the house isn’t clean, so that is a good perspective, thanks for the insight and the great recipe!!! This reminds me to listen to my husband more, the whole “who cares” idea, i am learning slowly!
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Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Reply:
November 10th, 2009 at 11:44 am
I’ve found that there’s a healthy balance somewhere between my instincts (nobody’s allowed in the door if the house isn’t spotless!) and my husband’s (nobody cares if the dirty laundry is on the floor).
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I want to eat that dessert now! LOL
Mary, thank you so much for being my guest today. I love how we can all relate to your story!
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Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 7:33 am
Thank you for having me, Sandy. You are a very warm and welcoming hostess!
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Oh boy, been there and done that (the cleaning, screaming thing). Not pretty or enjoyable. I finally gave up and do what I can and light some candles to distract form the rest. It’sno wonder people hate to entertain! I can tell you from a guest point of view, I am actually relieved when I go to someones house and see a little mess, it takes me off the hook for feeling I need perfection to have them over!
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Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 7:33 am
Kathy, I have heard other people say that. And oh yes, candles can work miracles, can’t they?
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This is something at times I have struggled with. I try to adopt a relaxed mindset but sometimes… I loved my friend’s solution to this. She framed a little wall hanging in her entry way that said…”If you came to see me, you’re welcome anytime. If you came to see my house….you better make an appointment!”
P.S. Thanks for that delicious looking dessert!
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Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 7:33 am
Haha! I love that saying, Tracy!!
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O the dessert was really fabulous and the pic made it incredible, thank for sharing the recipe because variety is the spice of life.
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Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 7:34 am
You are quite welcome. (But don’t even blame me if you eat it all in one weekend!)
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This is a favorite recipe of ours as well and is delicious!
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I have had some of the best times in a home that was not perfect. Just ‘living’ can create a few items being out of place, a tiny bit of dust somewhere and a missed spot on a mirror but it’s the welcoming atmosphere and the fun that overrides any housekeeping faux pas. Thanks so much for sharing!
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Mary, thank you so much for sharing! I had to laugh as I read your post as it could have been written about me.
Last night, I made that wonderful dessert and brought it over to a friend’s house. She recognized herself in your story as well! We had a good laugh and decided to make the Chocolate Eclair Dessert whenever we needed a reminder to love our imperfections.
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Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Reply:
November 16th, 2009 at 8:16 am
Oooh, Karen, I love that idea. Not only is it a delicious dessert, but it can serve as a reminder to just calm ourselves down. Brilliant!
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