This time of year makes me want to free myself from clutter and stuff. I can’t wait to put the Christmas stuff back into the attic and to reclaim my space. An upcoming January resolution for me (although I’m not a big resolution person) is going to be to try to live with less, and to thin out and organize what I do have.
My friend, Melissa (Drop the Baby Weight), recently shared with me how she was looking forward to a restful, peaceful Christmas season. But it wasn’t always that way. She shared with me that by reading Reluctant Entertainer this past year, it actually helped her to get over her shyness and learn to reach out more.
And it also challenged her when it came to stuff …
Your site has helped me get over my shyness. I used to entertain happily, but recent events got me sidetracked and buried under sheer stuff at home (new baby and 2 toddlers). I realized that my home and life reflected about 5% of what I really wanted it to, and decided that it needed changing right away! It’s amazing how getting rid of so much physical stuff lifted my spirits and helped change how available I was to my kids, husband and even myself.
I should add that I have been a compulsive reader of organizing-type books, but what I needed wasn’t organizing as much as letting go emotionally of my stuff. Really, I had to let go of what it represented to me — e.g., having a ton of books everywhere meant I was a real reader. But who cares what I read or don’t read? Why did I feel I had to prove not just that I read but that I read “real” or “cool” books? I kept a few books that I actually re-read every year, gave away the rest, and started utilizing my local library (which had just undergone a lovely redesign and was a pleasure to visit). As I went through my house, drawer by drawer and closet by closet, I jettisoned silverplate I never seemed to get around to polishing (I figure when I need some in a few years, I’ll find it at a yard sale or shop for cheap without a problem). Special toys I had purchased for my kids but that they never played with — my sentimentality wasn’t worth the kids’ indifference and the storage space the toys took up. Etc, etc, etc! Some stuff went to Goodwill, a lot went to kids of friends at church, and my babysitter took the silver. Every load that went out the door felt like a weight dropping away.
Now that I have space in my house, I can put things away where they go — they actually have a place to go! A quick pickup of a room takes a few minutes, not a few (gulp) hours, or days. It’s really freeing. I can sit down with a book for a few minutes without feeling guilty about it. Play with the kids and not feel that I really ought to be clearing out a pile over there in a corner (I only have one small pile, for my sanity).
Things aren’t perfect but they are manageable for the first time in years! 
Hooray for us, is all I can say.
I feel that Melissa is no different than the average person, including myself!
Here are some helpful tips that have helped guide and given me a plan:
1. Acknowledge that you have a problem with stuff.
2. Decide that you are ready to make a change.
3. De-clutter, drawer by drawer, closet by closet – haul it away.
4. Find a place or individual that will benefit from your stuff this holiday season (Good Will, Salvation Army, your church, etc.)
Today I plan to take a carload to Good Will because the last few days we’ve gone through our garage and closets. A few weeks ago we went through our coats and gave some to a worthy cause. I sorted through my Christmas “stuff” and gave some decorations away to a Mom with young kids. A perfect idea!
I’d love to hear if you have a problem with stuff, or some of your ideas on how to pare it down during this New Year?
(Thank you, Melissa, for being so authentic and allowing me to share your story with my readers!)
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This is THE most important post I have ever read.
I realize that this is definitely my problem. I keep saying that I’m disorganized and I need to organize. The truth is that I’m surrounded by “stuff”. OMG – this changes everything!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!
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Hey!
Great post!
I had a gigantic decluttering when we made our big move from Alabama to Seattle last Spring.
There was noway I was going to haul all of my STUFF across the country!
The only things that made the trip were things that I KNEW I would USE…not things I MIGHT USE…and things that would be there WHEN & IF I EVER NEEDED THEM!
I decided to totally change styles…
so lots of furniture..shabby chic…vintage…all had to go!
I hosted “Moving Parties” for friends and coworkers! I had big tents up in my yard with all kinds of goodies…holiday decor…kitchen appl….frames…all kinds of stuff.
Then…I let people just walk through my cottage…they’d say…”Is that for sale?”…I’d say yes and tell them how much!
It was so much fun!
I was sentimentally attached to everything that I sold…but because I knew who’s house it was going to…and that my things would be cherished…that made a BIG difference.
Plus…I soooooo wanted new Pottery Barn…WHITE slipcovered chairs and sofas for our new home.
So…I kept the money coming in tallied up!
My husband was already in Seattle!
So I would call and let him know that I had sold the couch or a desk…
and that I had enough money for the PB sofa…then chairs!
It was sooooo much fun making the money to buy my new things!
But…I had to be very couragous!
Letting go is not easy!
I’ve been in my new home for 6 months…and haven’t missed ONE thing I sold!
When my big sale was over…
a precious couple…a minister and his sweet wife…made three trips to my cottage hauling everything left off in a trailer.
When they got it all to their church…they were going to let members in need just come and get whatever they needed…wanted to use in their homes!
Now that was the icing on top of it all.
She even brought us a HUGE pan of homemade yeast rolls…each time she came to collect more things!
Yummmm!
XXOOXX
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Hi! This is such a great post. January is one of my favorite times of year as an “organizer”. I love to clear out the holiday decor and see a clean and decluttered home. I always take this time to clean out things I don’t need and change around my decor for a fresh look. I know it’s hard for people to part with things but my motto is…If you don’t use it…loose it. As I clean out, I try to donate as much as I can. Thanks again for the “jump start” into the new year!
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What a great post! Cleaning out the guest room closest has been on my to do list for 7 months! This has just encouraged me that I need to do it! I love getting rid of clothes, my motto, if I haven’t worn it in a year, I won’t wear it again so get rid of it!
Thanks for sharing! Happy New Year!
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Hi, enjoyed this…I have been on a de-cluttering mission for over six months…yes I am slow. I am old. It is better but, not where it needs to be. I am still slogging away and hope to be a lot “lighter” of things come spring time. Thanks and keep on inspiring!
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Oh how wonderful and inspirational! I love reading about the successes of others and am so glad Melissa you were able to make that change happen for yourself. So great! It’s just such an amazing feeling isn’t it and such a high too. That’s where my addiction comes in
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Oh yea…this is right up my alley! I started doing this about 5 years ago and am still working at it. I haven’t completely arrived, coming from a long line of lover’s of pretty things and hoarders at that! But I completely relate to the notion of a weight being lifted as things go out the door! I’ve taken vans full of ‘stuff’ I don’t use to Goodwill, had several garage sales, etc. I now have empty shelves in some closets! Amazing! It’s wonderful!
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Question for you and your readers….how do you get over the guilt of getting rid of family items that have been passed down to you but you never use. Example; I have my moms china. It has chips, I don’t care for it, and I have stored it since 1986! I can’t get rid of it….makes me feel like I have no sentimental values or something. We had many nice meals on it while I was growing up. Is something wrong with me? I have alot of this kind of stuff that I haul around, only look at when we move. I need help. Any suggestions out there?
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Michelle Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Hi Peggy!
I was left some really great things when my granny died! Some of it, honestly, wasn’t my style! So I offered those things to other family members, friends and I am about to give some serving pieces to our church! Giving is the greatest feeling in the world to me (right up there with a banna split on the 4th of July)! Happy sorting!
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sandy Reply:
December 29th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Hi Peggy, I love Angela’s idea. To be honest, if it’s something that I’ll never use (even if a heirloom) I’d get rid of it, or at least offer it to another family member before you do.
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Angela Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
This is in reply to Peggy’s comment. You could take a few chipped pieces of the china and maybe some other smaller sentimental pieces and break a few to make into a new frame, tabletop, vase, or something that you could look at and remember. Then you could donate the rest or find a family friend that would love those items. A friend of mine had a quilt made of her fave baby clothes that her girls wore. Instead of keeping them for who knows how long, they now grace her bed in sweet memories.
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Helene Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 9:39 am
Peggy, I’ll tell you what Peter Walsh from Clean Sweep always said. You already have the memories, you don’t need the object to remind you. Will you remember your mom any less if you give away her old china? Wouldn’t your mom want you to be happy, and not burdened and feeling guilty because of her old stuff?
Try to see if someone in your family wants it, and if not, give it away to charity where a family in need will enjoy it.
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Jodi Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 11:51 pm
Hi Peggy….I have “been there, felt that way” also with family items. I am 65 and FINALLY getting my home organized as I’ve always envisioned it to be. What you do with your mom’s china is this….lay the pieces all out and TAKE A PICTURE of it all!! You will keep the memory of it in a picture album or on your computer. You can pull up that picture much pieces without chips of her china and let the rest go. It’s quicker to pull up a picture than digging out the dishes from an old box or wherever you have them stored. You savor the memory of meals served on those plates and tuck those memories back into your heart for safe-keeping. They don’t need to be anywhere else. I just thought of something….keep one or two of her dishes and get rid of and let go of the rest. I’m “letting go” as I know that’s what God wants me to do. He doesn’t want us living in clutter. He’s the Role Model with the beautiful organized world He created. WE are the ones who clutter His world and our lives. It helps me give up treasures when I know my grown kids have no interest in them so therefore I try to give things to someone less fortunate or to Goodwill where someone can purchase them inexpensively. It’s such a wonderful feeling when “stuff” is gone. It inspires others who walk into our homes. NOW is the time for us to clear the clutter so we don’t leave it for our families to do when we’re gone. YOU can do it Peggy…ask the Lord for courage and strength and you’ll be amazed at His power working in YOU. Jodi
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While I was reading this I wanted to jump off the couch and shout, “YES, THAT’S ME, ALL THE WAY!”
The last few months I’ve been doing exactly what she did. I tackle an area and it may take anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks, but when it’s done it is indescribably great. It has DEFINITELY lifted my spirits in ways I couldn’t imagine.
It’s great to see there are others out there.
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I can’t figure out how I have gotten so emotionally attached to stuff. I am feeling the exact same way. So many times I tell myself, that as soon as I get rid of it I will wish that I had it back so I hold onto it some more, and we have just run out of storage space over here. We have collected way too much stuff! I am ready for the clutter to be gone and would like to do a lot of organizing. I can relate to having to spend so much time getting the stuff under control!!!!!!!! and that is no fun. I want this year to be the year that I open my home more, which is going to mean that this stuff has got to go! Thanks so to Melissa for the great post.
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Honestly, Sandy, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I visit you fairly often, but up to now I haven’t added your site to my blog roll or been regular in my visits. Today I realized that EVERY time I’m here, I keep reading and reading and reading, and I’m always glad I came! So I’m going straight to add your blog to my blog roll. And I’ll be back tomorrow. And I look forward to getting to know you better. A good resolution for me!
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We usually do a good job purging as we go-with three kids we’ve found the piles accumulate pretty stinking fast! I make regular trips to donate things (or regularly give stuff to friends!) I always figure if I don’t love it, use it regularly, or have a home for it then I probably don’t really need it. It is a freeing feeling to get rid of the excess. My plan for the new year is putting some organizational systems in play for some always cluttered places in our home. Can’t wait to get that started!
Thanks for sharing this.
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I’m glad I found that I’m not the only one who gets antsy to put the Christmas stuff away! Your post has made me think of the mound of toys (outside) the trios playarea that I rotate in. Do they really need a pile of toys in everyroom? Books, yes! But this could go on for a few years and I don’t want to live like this and not be able to walk to the piano safely! One fun God blessing that happened a few weeks ago was one night I mentioned to my DH that I would love a bank of lockers for the garage for our 6 kids to put their coats, helmets, backpacks, etc. into. The very next day I got a phone call that said to move my van out of the garage because a bank of 12 lockers was being delivered for free! Can you believe that? God really does care about the small stuff in our lives! Purge On!!!!
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The one thing I’ve had trouble with is … time. I can’t purge, organize, or donate without having the time to go through stuff! So now that I’m unemployed, I’ll actually have TIME! Yay! Purging is top on my priority list too!
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I get the itch to have a clear out every New Years. So many things have filtered down through the family and have sentiments attached. For a number of years I’ve asked my daughters to pick a family treasure they want for their birthday. Sometimes it feels like things are coming in one door as fast as they go out the other tho.
Darla
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My hubby is not a hoarder so he keeps me in check (-;
I don’t tend to collect too much yet I periodically néed to go through things and purge!
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We are surface abusers here, we clutter-up every hard surface in the house. It is a wonderful feeling to clean off a shelf, counter, or the top of a dresser. We definitely need to get rid of some stuff and give it to someone who can make better use of it. It is such a freeing feeling to make space to just live, breathe and enjoy life!
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Hi everyone, Melissa here. Thanks so much for all the kind words. (Sorry I didn’t make it here sooner — all 3 kids and I were sick so I wasn’t reading blogs.) Thanks, Sandy, for sharing my story!
Peggy, I’d say give that china to Goodwill! Think about it: it can become someone else’s fabulous find, the one they jump up and down when they see there — isn’t that a nice picture? Another thing: I gave away tons of stuff my grandmother had given me — that she had picked up at yardsales. Darling things, but I don’t have a modern house with Pottery-Barn storage. I live in a 60s ranch with no mudroom and a dearth of closets. It’s just an IS, as they say. I realized I needed to live in the present and work with the little space I had.
Really what worked for me was NOT making it my job to find perfect destinations for my stuff. You cannot get caught up in that conundrum, or the stuff will sit forever in boxes and bags in your car, garage, or by your backdoor, at least in my experience. I wanted it all OUT of the house! It helped that I was due with baby #3 in just a couple of weeks…. I worked before and after he was born to get rid of my stuff.
After a few weeks I did stumble upon a couple of women at church with babies smaller than my younger two who could use my clothes/shoes once they grew out of them, which was nice. But it was super easy to get them the stuff since I am at church a few times a week anyway.
It also helps to have another warm body (a ruthless friend!) to keep telling you to get rid of things. Alone, I sometimes feel like I can’t frame the problem well enough to decide whether something will be useful to me. Somehow with another person standing there, it’s easier to see what can go. And that person can help you actually put stuff in the car or on the curb, the best part in my opinion!
I’m going to start my year off with another purge — this time following it with some good organizing as I go through everything a second time.
Lordy, I am a wordy girl. I’ll stop here!
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I tend to pile up magazines. Who knows, one of them may contain an article that will inspire me to turn my life around, lose 100 poounds, learn 2 new languages, and cook healthy meals every night!! (eyeroll)
So I started trimming the pile on December 31st. I started with women and fashion mags. They’re gone. Now I have to sort through the decorating magazines.
I also have a ton of books, but I don’t intend to trim my collection just now. I mostly need to clean my bookcases and find a place for eveything because right now, everything is piled up with nowhere to go.
I’m also cleaning the basement, which still has boxes from our move 4 years ago! Things that haven’t seen the light of day in years, that I forgot I had, and that I don’t intend to use soon, are going in the giveaway pile. I even started to actually take things to charity instead of leaving them in the garage!
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Thankyou, for some much needed inspiration…. My name is Nikki and I’m a hoarder! Today I’m going to start to organise my house…. it may take awhile, but I’ve got to start somewhere.
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Thank-you, thank-you. I have had a really good chuckle to myself while reading all your words. My house is FULL to the brim and I really can relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed by all the STUFF. You have truly inspired me to get moving – I’m off right now to purge, purge, purge. Thanks for your great blog.
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