Day 30. The Dinner is Over: “Come Back When You Can’t Stay as Long!”
When it’s time for our guests to leave, my husband has a standing statement that he never forgets to say as our guests walk out of our front door, and it’s said in a joking manner: Come back when you can’t stay as long!
Everyone knows that Paul is kidding, but there is truth to that statement. The night starts out young and exciting. Good food and conversation are shared and many times encouragement and advice are given. We people are really made with the need to connect, to form intimacy, and to bond to one another. But then the night comes to an end. It gets late. We get tired. And it’s time for everyone to go home. That’s where we tease our guests and say, “Come back when you can’t stay as long!”
As our guests leave our home and as we shut the door, say good night to our kids, maybe do a few dishes, and turn out the lights, many times Paul and I will then lay in bed and talk about the night. Reminisce, reflect, and talk about the funny things that happened, or maybe the not-so-funny, if a entree didn’t turn out, or when the kids were little if they acted up, or maybe even if the conversation went bad. The night takes on a whole new meaning of its own.
Every entertaining experience is different. Some we learn from, some we’re challenged by, and some will remain in our hearts forever.
Entertaining and practicing hospitality are not to be taken lightly. In our home, we consider reaching out to others and making them feel welcome to be a high calling. I wish more people were willing to put aside their fears and just try it. There’s one more day left in my 31 Days series to Stress-Free Entertaining.
Tomorrow I’ll wrap it up with Day 31, but today I’d love to hear your thoughts on if you reflect or think about your entertaining experiences?
I also want to thank everyone for their comments, personal emails, and thoughts and stories shared. YOU are the reason why RE exists.
(Remember my new book, The Reluctant Entertainer, is now available at all book stores and on Kindle, and I go much deeper there in many of these 31-Day subjects. Don’t forget to visit the other bloggers: Chatting at the Sky, Nesting Place, Balancing Beauty and Bedlam, My First Kitchen, Life With My 3 Boybarians, Remodeling This Life, The Inspired Room)
For years, I’ve always enjoyed the quiet time cleaning up after guests have left. My husband usually helps for a bit and then I tell him to go off to bed, because as you said, I like to reflect on the evening. Standing at the sink, washing dishes after an evening of entertaining and recalling the conversation, the laughter, the joy of sharing a meal reminds me how important it is to gather friends & family together. I may be totally frazzled before company comes, but the end of the evening is a serene peaceful little moment in time for me.
I am working on entertaining more often. I love it when I do it, it’s the getting there part that I struggle with.
My husband has something he likes to say as guests are leaving also. It’s “Drive fast! Take chances!” You may or may not want to share that one with your husband. ;-)
My husband & I reminisce about the evening while doing the dishes together after everyone leaves. We’ll analyze the night…dish by dish…conversation by conversation. It’s one of the most enjoyable parts of having people over.
I often find goodbyes awkward. I think it’s my natural shy instinct. Hellos are predictable, the middle is usually the easiest… and goodbyes are hard. Even to neighbors.
It’s nice your husband likes to break it up with humor. :)
I have really enjoyed this series. We had our Halloween party last night. It ended up being bigger than I expected–most of the people we invited came, and it was all families with kids. What I’ve read here really helped me not to panic. My favorite thing was the day-of countdown to greeting guests. That is such a genius way to make a to-do list and I got all the important stuff done. We had a great time and I think everyone else did, too. I was sad to see everyone leave at the end of it, but their tired, sugared-up kids sort of made that necessary :-) Anyway, thanks! I definitely want to order your book soon!
Sandy – I’ve enjoyed reading this series so much, and the pictures have been spectacular. I come away feeling that I want to entertain more!
I’ve so enjoyed the 31 series. It’s been very inspiring! Thank you Sandy for all you do to help bring entertaining and hospitality back into our homes. People who shy away from entertaining or even being entertained do not know what they’re missing. That’s sad. I appreciate your gentle approach and how you make everyone feel like it is something we can do.
I completely agree with your line ” People who shy away from entertaining or even being entertained do not know what they’re missing.” No matter how you entertain…whether having company for pancakes & bacon like we did today…or a formal multi course meal, sharing the table with others develops and adds a richness to life that you can’t get from anything else.
I love this, Sandy!
I thought of you when planning this weekend. My oldest son (the one at Duke) is participating in a reunion weekend–all the students who were on the Campus Crusade Summer Project he did this summer are here in town for a reunion. He told people that they were welcome to stay at our house if they needed a place. So we have six college students staying with us. Still, I’ve been wanting to have a couple over for dinner, and this weekend was a good time for them–so they’re coming to dinner this evening. I figured, why not? In the past, I doubt I would’ve had the courage to combine the two things.
You’re an inspiration! :)
Oh, all of the time…
I see hospitality as a way of growing together as a couple. As a team. As a family… learning just what our core values are. Do we always talk “things” over afterwards? Not, as much as I would like.
I love Paul’s saying. He sounds like he’s got my sense of humor. :)
The sad thing is… is that there is a lot more truth in that phrase, for me, then I care to admit. Yet, I know we’re (as a couple) also guilty of “wearing out our welcome” as it refers to in a verse from Proverbs (25:17). It’s not a good feeling when you sense that from someone… but it’s too late. I’m sure…far too often… I’ve worn that phrase like a billboard across my face, as well.
Do you talk about this in your book, at all?
Sounds like I/we need to have more company over – just so we talk about it more – and grow some more… :)
Thank you so much for this series…
I have to agree with Tara’s sentiment. Sandy – you do have a great heart and it shines through in your blog. Loved your posts and am working them into our entertaining one by one.
Sandy, I just love your heart. Your gentle, sweet presentation of wisdom you’ve gained has been a blessing. My husband and I have talked about various points you’ve brought up- how we can improve, things we’ve never thought about… Enjoy your weekend!!