Day 6. Help: They Won’t RSVP!
One of the most frustrating things that I hear from women who plan dinner parties is that it’s hard to get an RSVP, so that causes stress. I will agree, we live in a new era where we just don’t take invitations seriously. I have been at fault in this area myself, embarrassingly so. If you missed yesterday’s post, it was on how to actually make the invite.
– I give myself a timeline for when I expect to hear back from my guests
– I either call or email and ask if they have an answer
It’s that simple. Follow up on your invite.
Here’s a bit of honestly. I really take dinner invites serious and get right back with the hostess when we are invited. I am not so good at getting back to the hostess who’s hosting a nighttime party, like clothing, candles, kitchen tools, etc. For years I sold Pampered Chef, so I remember the frustration involved.
I know this is a hot topic, so if you want to, fire away with your comments, observations, or ideas!
How do you deal with guests who don’t RSVP right away? Do you stress over it?
Book GIVEAWAY!
Today over at We are THAT Family, Kristen is giving away 3 copies of my new book, The Reluctant Entertainer.
I am reluctant about entertaining. My living areas are tiny and my kitchen is small. Plus, there’s the eating part.
I love food, but my cooking is not an art form.
My love for connecting with people forces me to put all that aside and entertain anyway. – Kristen, from We are THAT Family
Comment if you want win, and thank you, Kristen! And did you know that you can pre-order a copy of her new book, Don’t Make Me Come Up There? I can hardly wait to read this book, Kristen makes me laugh … HARD!
See what the other girls are saying in this 31 Days Series …
Chatting at the Sky, Nesting Place, Balancing Beauty and Bedlam, My First Kitchen, Life With My 3 Boybarians, Remodeling This Life, The Inspired Room
Pingback: 31 Days to Stress-Free Entertaining! — Reluctant Entertainer
If someone does not respond to a dinner invitation, they have no right to attend.
If I inadvertently miss RSVP-ing, I write a quick note of apology but do not attend, because I didn’t not RSVP on time. Why is this a common courtesy that we’ve allowed to go by the wayside?
What about those people who say “yes” and then don’t show? I’ve stopped entertaining groups and only have one or two couples over now. Several of my friends are doing the same. It bites hard!
Dn’t invite them next time — they’ve shown by their actions that they do not value the relationship.
I find it really difficult to deal with people that won’t get back to you or commit to a planned time/event. Whether it be RSVPing for an event or just trying to find a time to “get-together,” I feel like our culture has become very wishy washy. I try to make a decision when I get an invite, not waiting to see if something else will come up. Then I let the host or friend know. It’s kind to let my yes mean yes and give an honest no if I’m not going to be able to make it, rather than trying to fit too many things into a timeslot that is already busy. Something I feel strongly about. Not exactly on topic, but hey.
So many manners have sadly gone by the wayside; this is another good example of that.
I try to always send an RSVP in a timely manner, though sometimes I have to wait until the last minute due to a very odd family/work schedule. However, I know how important that reply is for planning purposes.
I have been the one left wondering in the past, and that is no fun. Note to others: when you are sent one of those online invites, the host/hostess can see who has viewed it. So when you keep looking to see who is coming and never respond it doesn’t sit well with the hostess. Ask me how I know. :)
Good point, April!
My husband and I don’t socialize much, and come from families who don’t, so we don’t have some of the innate social knowledge that many other people do. We both always thought that RSVP meant to respond only if you ARE attending. Since we attend most events we are invited to, that usually worked well. Recently, we were invited to a wedding that we could not attend, so we did not respond. When the bride called us and seemed a little miffed, I realized I should find out the proper meaning of RSVP. When reading blogs and discussions, it turns out that quite a few people truly believed that RSVP meant to only respond if you are attending. Many more knowledgable posters told those people that they should have looked up the meaning if they weren’t sure. But it’s not that we’re not sure, we think we know what it means, we were just wrong. So please keep that in mind when thinking non-RSVPers are rude and thoughtless. Also, I have a friend who lives a small rural town mostly made up of low-income Hispanic meat-packing plant workers. When she had a birthday party for her son, she invited his entire elementary school class. No one RSVP’d but a few people did attend. She wondered if there was a cultural difference. That is another thing to consider. From now on, if I host an event, I will make it perfectly clear that I am requesting an RSVP whether they will be attending or not. Maybe that’s not proper etiquette, but I don’t think most people know proper etiquette anymore anyway.
Question: 4 couples that we are friends with are forming a supper club. I am so excited about this!! It will be once a month, and we will take turns hosting. My husband and I are hosting the first one. While the point of this is to get a little fancier than normal and treat ourselves to a nice meal with friends, I don’t want it to get to the point where we are all pulling out elaborate tricks and one-upping each other every month. I’ve been in clubs before where this has happened, and then no one wants to host anymore because the standard is so high, it’s an enormous amount of work for the host!! Does anyone else know what I’m talking about?
Since I’m hosting the first supper club, I feel like I am setting the standard. So what could I serve that would be nice, but not too nice (a simple gourmet type thing)? I do LOVE to cook, decorate, and make my home welcoming.
Sorry for the long post, but any help would be appreciated!
I found out the hard way after my daughter’s wedding that guests just don’t get it. I now make sure that every invitation I receive is replied to promptly. That being said, I think our lives are so filled with to do lists, that people just put off a reply, or simply forget, leaving the hostess in the dilemma of wondering who is actually going to attend. It’s now time to host a baby shower for my daughter and I included my email address along with the phone number hoping this may prompt more guests to RSVP. I know it may not be proper etiquette, but I’m hoping it may just work!
I have a lot of frustration over people who do not RSVP. It is just plan rude. I stress then call or email the week before the party. For people who continue to not RSVP for my parties and are not close friends – I quit inviting them. I think it is an honor to be invited to someone’s gathering. It means that someone has thought of you, wants you to be a part of your event and that they enjoy your company. If someone can’t find time to respond in a reasonable amount of time they must not be that interested. I like everyone else am way over scheduled, but if I am spending a huge effort to have a party that takes a tremendous amount of time, I would like to know that they are happy to attend.
I have been guilty of not RSVPing. But since I have had a few parties lately and have seen how important it was for me to know how many were coming, I have vowed to do better at it myself!