Your Daughter Needs a Hero (3) Book GIVEAWAY

I’m over at Simple Mom’s today posting about 8 Simple Steps to Planning a 4th of July Party! It really isn’t as hard as you might think … I learned years ago that delegation is the KEY.

#8. Pull it all together with a healthy attitude that things do not have to be perfect. When everyone contributes, it becomes more “community” and less about you.

Read more, => HERE

I was recently asked to review a book for a friend of a friend (The Nester), called, Your Daughter Needs a Hero, by Maria Furlough. The subtitle caught my eye right away … Helping her handle insecurity and poor body image.

(my daughter and some of her beautiful friends)

Years ago I started a Balcony Girls group with my daughter, from 3-8 grades. It was such a special time, with awesome girls, as we worked through relationships, friendships, and virtues. You can read more about my 2 eBooks, here.

One of the lessons in my eBook teaches on beauty: How to be able to look into the mirror and see your heart, as well as your face or your body, and learn that God loves you just the way He made you. And overcoming the “Barbie” image, or standard-of-beauty, of having to look “perfect.” To defeat these lies: You are not pretty enough. Your body isn’t perfect enough.

So, if you’re interested in building up your daughter’s self-esteem and self image, then read on … you can ENTER TO WIN a copy of this fabulous book that I’m giving away today! (3 copies)

Today’s book takes this subject of “image” much further. Maria Furlough shares her perspective on growing up as an insecure girl, her teens years, and now married several years as a young mom and mentoring young teens. She writes about self-image, confidence, and self-esteem. I’d say this book is a must-read if you have a daughter because she really shows parents how to counteract the constant pressures and influences that affect teen girls every day.

This book is for mothers and fathers to read, and includes discussion questions at the end for parents. Such a valuable ending to the book. Your daughter may not be crazy about you reading it, but … later she will thank you.

Here are some of the chapters which helped me decide that this book was for me, and something I could wrap my mind around. I feel we can always improve our parenting, so when I read something as inspiring as this book, I want to gain the wisdom myself, and share it with others.

Chapter titles (and my two-cents).

-How Teen Bop Magazine Ruined My Life (I too, remember reading Tiger Beat and wishing I could look like them. Ugh … I remember all too well, never happy for who I was.)

-Not My Daughter! (No one has a perfect daughter. It’s tempting to turn a blind eye and not deal with things that should be dealt with. Especially when we moms have hangups ourselves. I mean, how much do we talk about food, dieting, exercise, what clothing looks good on us, etc.)

-What if I Do Nothing? (What if I do something, should be what we are asking ourselves. I’m thankful for a healthy relationship with my daughter. Parenting is hard work, it doesn’t just happen overnight.)

-A Thankless Job (The goal as a mom is to be the source, strength, and guidance that our girls need. It’s not always easy and sometimes I question if I’m doing the right thing.)

-Mom’s Contributing Behaviors (Our actions, words of “diets,” what we watch and read, our appearances and insecurities … I pray it’s my faith that my daughter remembers the most.)

-Dad’s Contributing Behaviors (Healthy affection, adoration, and acceptance, HUMOR, leadership in dealing with everyday life’s pressures. It’s not about what she wears that makes her beautiful.)

-What Mom and Dad Can Do to Help (Be real with struggles you had. Ask a lot of questions, communicate, compliment. Don’t talk about your weight. (ouch))

-The Hope of a Different Future (Confident and secure women have the power to change our world and our family’s world. Not insecure women. I’ve learned that who I hang out with really makes a difference in so many ways.)

-My Mom’s Perspective: Beauty from Ashes (Maria’s mother shares about her daughter’s struggles with insecurity, self-image – how she feels Maria got these traits from her. She confesses to being a people pleaser.)

-My Dad’s Perspective: Man Your Battle Station (Maria’s father shares his story and mess-ups. He now says: What is the legacy you want to leave? He includes a challenge for grandparents of granddaughters.)

I have to say, I was really touched by Maria’s father’s story. I’ll let you read it to form your own opinion.

Self worth is something that most have struggled with at some time, and Maria gives very real examples in her new book for how to address these situations! Powerful!

Now for the GIVEAWAY. THREE people will win a copy of Your Daughter Needs a Hero.

ANSWER TO WIN:
What’s one example of how you address self-esteem issues with your daughter?

2 EXTRA CHANCES TO WIN (come back and tell me):
-Follow Maria’s Your Daughter Needs a Hero Facebook page

-Follow Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook

Good Luck and spread the giveaway, if you can, to those who could benefit by Maria’s ministry.

The 3 winners will be announced on RE Facebook page on Monday night, July 2.

   

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177 Responses to “Your Daughter Needs a Hero (3) Book GIVEAWAY”

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    Jessica Hayes — June 29, 2012 @ 4:38 am

    My daughter isn’t due for another ten weeks, so no self-esteem issues yet. I would love to have this book to prepare for the future!

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    Jessica Hayes — June 29, 2012 @ 4:40 am

    I follow Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook.

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    Mimi — June 29, 2012 @ 5:52 am

    I haven’t really figured out my own self esteem issues much less my 14 year old daughters =) I try to focus on being healthy rather than skinny. Focusing on the Lord rather than boys. We don’t watch a lot of commercial television and we don’t have any teen magazines. It helps with not bombarding her with what the world sees as beautiful

    • Maria Furlough replied: — June 29th, 2012 @ 10:35 am

      Our own security is always a work in progress isn’t it?!? I know mine is. But just the fact that you are focusing on growth in your home, in this specific area, your daughter will surely benefit. I promise :) It is so hard…you are doing awesome!

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    Lisa — June 29, 2012 @ 6:12 am

    Honestly, I just talk with her. I tell her that I am hear for her whenever she wants to talk. That is something I could not do with my mother.

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    Kristen — June 29, 2012 @ 6:52 am

    My three daughters are constantly built up in our home… I want them to hear everyday how special, beautiful, smart, loving, etc. they are so hopefully when they face issues in the future, our words will prevail. I’d love to read this book! Thanks!

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    Kristen — June 29, 2012 @ 6:53 am

    I followed My Daughter Needs a Hero on Facebook!

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    Kristen — June 29, 2012 @ 6:53 am

    I’m a fan of RE on Facebook!

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    Erin — June 29, 2012 @ 6:54 am

    Sandy, I follow the Reluctant Entertainer on FB

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    Erin — June 29, 2012 @ 6:55 am

    Sandy, I am now following Maria’s FB page.

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    Jennifer — June 29, 2012 @ 6:58 am

    Building up our daughter’s is so difficult in this society. While I am always trying to encourage them to let their light shine, and praise them for doing do, I also remind them that they are God’s chosen ones. His Princesses and must live as his chosen child. A strong spiritual mindset goes a long way to creating strong esteem in the world.
    Their father and I praise their good choices, lift them up when they are week and remind them often how truly beautiful and special they are. A strong spiritual mindset goes a long way to creating strong esteem in the world.

    I love the theme of this book and will look for it in local stores as well!

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    Jennifer — June 29, 2012 @ 6:59 am

    I have followed your Facebook page.

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    Jennifer — June 29, 2012 @ 6:59 am

    And I have also followed Maria’s page on Facebook.

    Have a wonderful weekend.

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    Erin — June 29, 2012 @ 7:03 am

    Sandy,

    I’m so excited to learn about Maria’s book and her ministry. I love connecting with like-minded women and ministry’s.

    Fortunately my 14 year old daughter, Grace, is in a pretty good spot right now. But as a teen, that could change in 5 minutes. :)

    My goal has always been to remain compassionate and a good listener and to deal with the situation at hand with truth. My truth and more importantly, God’s truth. I struggled horribly with self worth as a teen and followed many paths I shouldn’t have. But, what I’ve experienced has allowed me to create a ministry that would have helped me as a kid. So, it all worked out. :)

    Thanks for this opportunity, and for sharing about “Your Daughter Needs a Hero”.

    Erin

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    Georgia — June 29, 2012 @ 7:35 am

    Being a 14 year old girl was not easy, but I’m finding that parenting a 14 year old girl is harder than I ever imagined! Self-esteem is a daily struggle. How do you teach someone that takes everything said as a criticism straight to the heart? It breaks my heart every day.

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    Kendra — June 29, 2012 @ 7:41 am

    The subject of this book is so important for our girls. Even as adult women we can sometimes struggle with our self worth when we measure it by the world’s standards. I try to take the focus off the exterior and encourage to be true to herself by finding her voice, trusting that God has a specific plan for her and to embrace her individuality. We learn together!

    Thank you for this great post! Still love your book!!!

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    Jodie — June 29, 2012 @ 8:13 am

    I’ve coached Girls on the Run for the past 8 years-and this past year both of my daughters were in the right age group in order to participate. We talk about a healthy self-esteem and about what is on your inside as well as the influence of the media and peer pressure. I also stress their value as people, children of God, and contributing members of our family.

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    Tracy — June 29, 2012 @ 8:18 am

    I’ve really enjoyed following RE for a few months now. And this morning was so excited to read this blog entry. I work outside of the home full time and have 2 children (both girls-one will be 8 next month and the other will be 2 in October). I’ve struggled with self confidence issues my entire life. Since having my first daughter in 2004 I’ve promised myself i would do everything in my power to give her the tools to not have to endure the same things I did. Lately, I’ve felt like a failure at this. I want to be that involved mom and I am to a point but honestly feel overwhelmed and that most days my girls get the worse part of me and I get the worse part of them because we are all “spent” by the time we are reunited in the evening. I’ve been praying for some type of information to be able to help my now 7 year old with friend issues. I found iShine for tweens and liked a lot of their information but when I saw this I felt like it was from God as well. I would love to start a group like the “BGs”. Maybe evening in conjunction with some of our girls at our church. It amazes me that sometimes the bullying is as much at the church as it is at the schools. I know myself well enough to know that I would definitely consider it a “sign” and HAVE to go forward with this if I won! But I also know all are wishing the same. :) I’ll be praying about purchasing this ebook regardless! Thanks and God Bless!

    Tracy

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    Tracy — June 29, 2012 @ 8:23 am

    Followed Maria’s Your Daughter Needs a Hero Facebook page

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    Tracy — June 29, 2012 @ 8:24 am

    Followed Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook

    :D

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    Tina — June 29, 2012 @ 8:44 am

    Every morning I wake up my daughter by saying, “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty… ”
    Praying.

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    Nancy — June 29, 2012 @ 9:15 am

    I really really need this book: I have 2 tweens and a 13 year old! I think one thing I do right is to not read or subscrib to magazines where the focus is on beauty and sex.

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    priscilla — June 29, 2012 @ 9:21 am

    I follow you on Facebook

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    priscilla — June 29, 2012 @ 9:22 am

    Just followed Maria on Facebook

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    aussie monica — June 29, 2012 @ 9:26 am

    I tell my daughter she is beautiful!

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    priscilla — June 29, 2012 @ 9:29 am

    I have a 14 year old daughter who, since November has been battling anorexia. She has made wonderful progress, with lots of help from doctors and therapists. If you don’t think this can turn your life upside down in a heartbeat, think again. She is an intelligent, talented, loved child. A few wrong comments made to her by a loved one and a coach and her self-esteem was gone. She was on the verge of being hospitalized and taken out of school. She started loosing her hair, her heart rate was 30 beats per minute, her weight was so low. I am so glad that did not happen. She is doing so much better, now. You can’t love them enough.

    • Maria Furlough replied: — June 29th, 2012 @ 10:43 am

      Oh Priscilla, my heart breaks for you and your daughter. Don’t you just hate how sharp and damaging words can be? They can wound and stay with you for what feels like a lifetime. But, as children of The King the story does not end there. These years can be painful, but they are not lost. There is always hope. I am just so thankful that your daughter has shared with you what hurt her so bad and that you KNOW what is going. You said it perfectly…you can’t love them enough and you can’t aim enough arrows straight into the heart of poor body image issues. They cut us to the core, but healing can come with a Mom who LOVES as much as you do.

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    penelope — June 29, 2012 @ 9:52 am

    I tell her she’s beautiful and strong and can do wonderful things.

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    Jill Hamilton — June 29, 2012 @ 9:52 am

    I have taught my 13-yr. daughter thus far to try not to compare herself with others her age. I would love to win this book and give her and my 8-yr old great wisdom as well. Thank you.

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    Maria Furlough — June 29, 2012 @ 10:37 am

    Jennifer I love what you wrote “A strong spiritual mindset goes a long way to creating strong esteem in the world.” You have hit the nail on the head with that one! When we are able to focus on THE ONE who is so much greater than we are we can begin to wrap our minds our how insignificant a number on a scale is or the size of our dress. Love it. Thank you for sharing!

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    Kris M. — June 29, 2012 @ 11:25 am

    Thank you for providing this post..what an important topic. I have had to help my daughter’s self esteem dealing with girls excluding each other from a group of friends and just not being kind or happy for each other. I could really use a copy as my daughter just turned 11!

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    RG — June 29, 2012 @ 11:26 am

    I’ve always felt I am barely a girl myself – ( grew up with all brothers and was ok with little drama, and teeny problems being solved within 10 minutes by a swift kick in the pants, and then they were all friends again. ) I always envisioned myself with a house full of boys if I ever married. Now I am married and God has a great sense of humor. We have 3 girls. AAAACKKK! The whining, bitterness, pettiness… sigh. So you see why I totally need to win this giveaway and prep before they hit the teen years.

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    Carmen — June 29, 2012 @ 11:28 am

    My daughter is young enough that I haven’t had to worry about esteem issues … yet. But I hope to remind her often how much she is loved and how important it is to have beauty on the inside.

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    Carmen — June 29, 2012 @ 11:29 am

    I Follow Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook

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    Tracey Ireland — June 29, 2012 @ 12:03 pm

    I am just startig to embark on this journey. I have an 8 year old daughter. I also have 13 and 15 year old sons, which is a whole different game, but I also want to teach them that physical beauty isn’t everything. I am planning on putting together a Balcony Girls group as I really want her to have a solid group of godly friends that can tackle life together. This book looks like a great start for me to help my daughter with self esteem and self image issues. One of the ways that I have started to help my daughter is to encourage her to do “her” best, and remind her that I am interested in what she did and not how she compared to others. I think it is also important to praise things other than physical beauty and I try to point out positive things like “you were very kind today”. I hope I’m on the right path, but of course need and will welcome guidance!

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    Erin — June 29, 2012 @ 12:58 pm

    My daughters are only 2 and 1, so no “real” issues yet. We actively do our best to guard their hearts and filter the messages they receive.

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    Erin — June 29, 2012 @ 12:59 pm

    I like RE on FB.

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    Erin — June 29, 2012 @ 12:59 pm

    I liked Maria’s FB page.

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    Kim Deakins — June 29, 2012 @ 2:06 pm

    I think it is especially difficult for teenagers to build a healthy self esteem in the world we live in. I would love to see the ideas in this book to help parents.

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    Kimberly P. — June 29, 2012 @ 4:57 pm

    We go to a church that offers an amazing youth program. Open forum style discussions encourage honesty and “homework” includes parent/teen discussions afterward at home.

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    Kimberly P. — June 29, 2012 @ 4:58 pm

    I follow RE on FB.

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    Kathy — June 29, 2012 @ 5:41 pm

    oh my goodness, this could not have come at a better time! My daughter and I just had a conversation 2 wks ago in which she was very down on herself and her looks. What I kept assuring her was that God makes us all different and unique and that by believing she’s ugly she’s actually believing lies from the enemy. I challenged her to stand on GOD’S truth and not let the devil convince her of these lies.

    Kathy K

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    amy marantino — June 29, 2012 @ 6:01 pm

    i do not have children of my own, but do coach some young ladies in various sports. i am sure to provide them with frequent positive reinforcement, and gentle feedback to help them improve in sports and in other ways

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    amy marantino — June 29, 2012 @ 6:02 pm

    i Follow Maria’s Your Daughter Needs a Hero Facebook page

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    amy marantino — June 29, 2012 @ 6:02 pm

    i Follow Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook

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    Michelle — June 29, 2012 @ 6:44 pm

    Constantly reaffirm their beauty

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    Michelle — June 29, 2012 @ 6:46 pm

    I like your facebook page

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    beth — June 29, 2012 @ 7:51 pm

    My daughter is 9 and already dealing with issues that I did not experience until 13 or 14. I try to really listen to her self esteem issues and let her know that she is not the only person with insecurities. Humor works well for her and I can usually get her laughing, I want her to learn to laugh at herself and not take life so seriously. I tell her all the time to lighten up and enjoy being a kid. I try to comment on her actions and words rather than her appearance. I also try to get her older brother to build up her confidence by using positive words with her.

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    beth — June 29, 2012 @ 7:52 pm

    I’m a FB follower of RE

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    Heather K Miller — June 29, 2012 @ 11:25 pm

    My daughter is almost two and I am already worrying about how I’m going to help her self esteem. I am dealing with body image issues that I have had for 15 years and it consumes me. I hate to think of my sweet beautiful daughter suffering from these same issues so for that reason alone, I need to get myself in control. I just don’t know how…

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    Andrea — June 30, 2012 @ 5:45 am

    My daughter is 5 and so far has enough good self esteem for 3 kids. I recall her 1st day of preschool, she came home saying, “Mom! Everyone just adored me!”

    But, I’m certain that as she grows she will come up against peer pressure and I want her to have an arsenal of good coping skills to help.

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    txcookiemomster — June 30, 2012 @ 8:17 am

    I damaged my own daughter while raising her by verbally putting myself down, hating my body etc…She has little to no self esteem when it comes to her appearance, nor do I. She now has a 3 year old daughter and I’ve reminded my daughter to not do what I did to her. Hopefull this book will help us both.

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    txcookiemomster — June 30, 2012 @ 8:18 am

    I now Like Your Daughter Needs a Hero’s Facebook page

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    txcookiemomster — June 30, 2012 @ 8:19 am

    I follow you Sandy on Facebook

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    Maxime — June 30, 2012 @ 1:14 pm

    I focus on healthy living instead of being pretty. I try very hard not to talk negatively about my own body in front of her either.

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    Maxime — June 30, 2012 @ 1:14 pm

    Following Your Daughter Needs a Hero on FB!

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    Maxime — June 30, 2012 @ 1:14 pm

    Following RE on FB, too!

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    linda — June 30, 2012 @ 4:48 pm

    Outward beauty fades and perishes but inner beauty lasts for all eternity and that is what God looks at – the inner beauty of a Christ-like, god-fearing lady. This is what I regularly tell my daughter. I also remind her that such inner beauty must be developed daily, much like showering, putting on make-up, exercising, eating right and doing one’s hair. Inner beauty takes time but the results show-up on the outer appearance and make even more of an impression on the people around you than the finest make-up, best tan and most slender body ever could!

    I would love to go through this book with our 14 year old daughter.:-)

    Thanks for asking,

    Linda

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    Janna — July 1, 2012 @ 6:27 am

    I have two daughters, 10 and 8, and while we have yet to deal with self-esteem issues we do talk about not trying to conform to what the world thinks a beautiful woman is, but to be seeking to love Jesus with all our hearts . . . I think overall, starting the conversations young so they grow with them is so important. I’m hoping we have laid the foundation so that they always feel they can come to me with anything.

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    Kelly — July 1, 2012 @ 7:06 am

    I always stop her when she starts to talk badly about herself, and remind her of her good qualities.

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    Kelly — July 1, 2012 @ 7:07 am

    I followed Maria’s Your Daughter Needs a Hero Facebook page

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    Kelly — July 1, 2012 @ 7:08 am

    I followed Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook.

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    Susan layne — July 1, 2012 @ 8:15 am

    I am trying, but I could really use this book. I struggle with this myself. I try to help her see both her inner and outer beauty. My daughter is 14!

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    Susan layne — July 1, 2012 @ 8:22 am

    Following reluctant entertainer

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    Susan layne — July 1, 2012 @ 8:23 am

    Following your daughter needs a hero!

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    Susan layne — July 1, 2012 @ 8:24 am

    What about a great price offer for those of us who don’t win but would like this book? Just an idea!

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    Marty — July 1, 2012 @ 8:28 am

    This sounds like a great book. I have a 14 year old daughter who is adopted and with all that baggage comes the insecurity of the world we live in. We talk about it and have an open relationship. We also homeschool so that shields her from a little of the world but not all. She just came back from a Christian camp where the girls talked about cutting and attempting suicide. Christian girls. No one is immune. I also have a 23 year old daughter who recently got married. Thanks so much for the giveaway!

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    Beverly — July 1, 2012 @ 8:41 am

    I try to be my daughters’ biggest fan… They both love encouraging words and I try to speak them as often as I can…

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    Pamelotta — July 1, 2012 @ 8:43 am

    I have to say I’m kind of flying blind in this area. I have 3 daughters, aged 6, 8 and 10 and they’re homeschooled so I’m just starting to see the first signs of body image issues. (The girls have mimicked things they’ve heard said, but not really known what it meant.) I tell them they’re beautiful and talk a lot about what’s inside being more important than the outside, but I could use a lot more direction in this area.

    I don’t have Facebook account so I’m hoping this entry does it! ;)

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    Beverly — July 1, 2012 @ 8:43 am

    Follow Maria’s Your Daughter Needs a Hero Facebook page

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    Beverly — July 1, 2012 @ 8:44 am

    Already follow RE on Facebook…

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    Rachel — July 1, 2012 @ 9:03 am

    I am new to all of this… being raised by a single dad and with all of my 5 siblings (2 are sisters) being much older than me. I was raised almost as a single child. One way I try to combat my daughters’ self esteem is to spend lots of time with them… I’m hoping that we’re building family and they can find their worth through God and through what we, as a unit, think of them, rather than looking for outside sources. I also try to speak positive words into them at every possible motives. And lastly, maybe the biggest way, is just to lift them to God, praying for them that He will cover them and that His love with fill them so they don’t need the approval of anyone else.

    Please put me in the drawing. I’d love to win a copy!

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    Jerri Czosek — July 1, 2012 @ 9:27 am

    I love to reassure my daughters’ how beautiful they are inside & out. We talk a lot about not ever offending anyones body or appearance & how it only takes one comment, good or bad to stick with someone forever.

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    Jerri Czosek — July 1, 2012 @ 9:29 am

    I LOVED Your Daughter Needs a Hero on Facebook. I can’t wait to read this book.

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    Jerri Czosek — July 1, 2012 @ 9:30 am

    The Reluctant Entertainer is Liked by me on FB. Love this support.

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    Jennifer in VA — July 1, 2012 @ 9:37 am

    I need help and will buy the book if I don’t win but what I do now is to praise them for the character that they have that is beautiful and loving.

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    Jennifer in VA — July 1, 2012 @ 9:37 am

    Followed Maria’s book on FB.

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    Jennifer in VA — July 1, 2012 @ 9:37 am

    I’m already a follower of RE on FB.

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    Mary B — July 1, 2012 @ 9:38 am

    I have 2 daughters 16 & 10. I’ve used the same “mantra” with both my girls that they are beautiful inside and out. Gods light is what makes them shine.
    The 16yo has self confidence for days… Seriously I wish I could clone the security she has in herself.
    THe 10yo is more insecure and I know I need to breath more and support her more….
    Amazing how different they are!

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    Kim Forster — July 1, 2012 @ 9:44 am

    My daughter worries a lot about what other people think of her. I just keep telling her that it doesn’t matter what they think. You are who you are and you should be proud of yourself and not worry about what other people have to say or think!

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    Niurka — July 1, 2012 @ 9:57 am

    I remind her to live her life the way she wants ,you only have one life and life is short to live on others expectations.

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    Niurka — July 1, 2012 @ 9:58 am

    Fan on facebook

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    Shanna — July 1, 2012 @ 9:59 am

    Being raised by a single mom and having an uninvolved father can accentuate issues of low self-esteem. I am always honest with my daughter. They don’t need to know every nitty gritty detail, but should definitely have an understanding of the how and why of these situations. My daughter knows her dad has some issues of his own to work through, and instead of harboring ill will she chooses the mature, wise path and prays for him. I also tell her often how beautiful, compassionate, talented, and intelligent she is. She knows these things without a shadow of a doubt.

    She does get picked on because she’s a bit timid in social situations and at school, because she’s still a little awkward with understanding “cliques.” So even though she’s shy and deals with bullies, she also knows those kids are only acting out because of bad situations in their own lives. She takes the high road by ignoring it the best she can and talking openly with me and her school counselors, and I couldn’t be prouder of her.

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    Southern Gal — July 1, 2012 @ 9:59 am

    It was tough for me when I was growing up so I had a hard time helping my own daughter through it. I was able to put into perspective though. Now she has a daughter with another one on the way. I would love to gift this book to her.

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    Lisa — July 1, 2012 @ 10:07 am

    My daughter is 11 and her self-esteem issues mostly deal with doing what her friends want instead of doing what she wants or knows is right. She often chooses an activity based on what she thinks will make her friends happy. She is very much a people pleaser. We have been talking alot lately about choosing for yourself and knowing you have a real friend when they are okay with your choice….even if it doesn’t match their own. As a woman I understand the painful daily struggle with trying to please others!

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    Francine — July 1, 2012 @ 10:20 am

    I would like this book for my granddaughter, who was born with a cleft lip – palate.

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    Mollie — July 1, 2012 @ 10:23 am

    Having lived with an anorexic a sister (and now with an anorexic niece, my brother’s daughter)…I am very nervous about my 13 yr old daughter’s self-image. I do not make body image comments about anyone – myself included! I do not talk about ‘dieting’, but eating healthy. I would love to read,’Your Daughter Needs A Hero’…and feel I can use all the help I can get!

    • Mollie replied: — July 1st, 2012 @ 12:34 pm

      BTW- liked both R.E. and YDNAH on FB!

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    Rhonda Crowdis Hardisty — July 1, 2012 @ 10:28 am

    I believe it is important to model self esteem for my girls. If I don’t like myself why should they like features that I gave? I am a fan of both of your Facebook pages!

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    Sue Thompson — July 1, 2012 @ 10:31 am

    I try to teach both of my kids that their value is in Christ, to live life from the inside out, that the evil one will try to take them done because they are a force to be reckoned with for Christ, we bring the truth to light to combat those lies and we PRAY!

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    Sue Thompson — July 1, 2012 @ 10:32 am

    I follow RE on Facebook

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    Sue Thompson — July 1, 2012 @ 10:33 am

    I follow Your Daughter Needs A Hero on FB

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    Kathy in IN — July 1, 2012 @ 10:46 am

    My daughter is only 5, I would so love to avoid the pitfalls that I dealt with as a pre-teen, teenager, and adult!

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    angela — July 1, 2012 @ 10:46 am

    sigh… my 11 year old has wonderful self-confidence, but i know she will struggle in some way, as we all do. i remind her every day that her worth comes from jesus – that nothing we do will ever be good enough. it doesn’t have to be. He did it all already. xo

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    angela — July 1, 2012 @ 10:48 am

    liked RE on fb. xo

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    angela — July 1, 2012 @ 10:49 am

    liked YDNAH on fb. xo

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    Kathy in IN — July 1, 2012 @ 10:54 am

    I followed your Facebook page!

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    Kathy in IN — July 1, 2012 @ 10:55 am

    Followed Your Daughter Needs a Hero on Facebook.

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    YeOldCollegeTry — July 1, 2012 @ 10:57 am

    I have a 4 year old daughter and we use the phrase “listen to your body” a lot. I ignored my body’s signals a lot growing up- eating when I wasn’t hungry, ignoring my hunger later to diet, exercising compulsively, etc- and I want to instill in her from early on that she can and should be in tune with her body. That she can trust her body, and not always be at odds with it. So- “listen to your body” is said a lot around here. Mealtimes, when she’s doing the potty dance to avoid going pee, etc:)

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    Margaret Diez — July 1, 2012 @ 11:05 am

    I remind my daughter constantly of her many accomplishments at uh a young age and also remind her of her tremendous value in God’s eyes.

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    Karen — July 1, 2012 @ 11:28 am

    We are really struggling with this, with our 9 year old daughter. Third grade seemed to bring out a lot of insecurities among the girls, which in turn brought out meanness:(( I’m praying that my husband and I can keep her self esteem strong.

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    anna — July 1, 2012 @ 11:39 am

    We try to stress that when God made our daughter, He was intentional about how He made her. He thinks she is beautiful, and He has a plan for her life. We remind ourselves of these things each day, too!

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    Tammy — July 1, 2012 @ 11:42 am

    I have a 14 year old daughter that greatly struggles with her body image, a battle I have fought for much of my life too. I am trying to help her not repeat my same mistakes, but what a tough battle in our image crazed media. While I remind her constantly that our worth is so much bigger than our appearance, I feel like I am losing the battle for her heart. This book sounds like an answer to prayer. Thank you Maria for writing it and Sandy for a chance at a giveaway! I have also liked both pages on facebook.

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    Shanna — July 1, 2012 @ 11:43 am

    I follow you on Facebook (already :) )

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    Shanna — July 1, 2012 @ 11:44 am

    I follow Your Daughter Needs A Hero on Facebook :)

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    courtney — July 1, 2012 @ 11:46 am

    My daughter is only 2, but having overcome (still working through) my own self esteem issues, I focus on telling her and showing her how special she is not just to us, but how special and loved she is by Jesus.

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    Sylvia — July 1, 2012 @ 12:02 pm

    I want my daughter to know she is precious to God! He made her the way she is and that is BEAUTIFUL! We keep ourselves healthy so that we may better serve Him.

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    Bobbie Wiseman — July 1, 2012 @ 12:08 pm

    I hope to win a copy for my granddaughter’s parents to read. This sounds like such a great title, and the description and ideas are definitely needed in today’s world.

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    Claire — July 1, 2012 @ 12:43 pm

    My daughter is only 3, but I think so many issues start this young. Regarding food and healthy eating, we talk about listening to her body and eating until she feels satisfied. We talk about healthy food choices and healthy habits and exercise. I also steer clear of Disney princesses! My daughter loves dress up play, and has some hand me down princess costumes, but we do not watch any of the Disney media. There’s a great book about finding some balance in our princess crazy world called “Cinderella Ate My Daughter.” My daughter is stunningly beautiful, with fire-red curly hair. Literally, every day at least one stranger tells her how beautiful she is. I struggle with how to acknowledge this but also emphasize to her all her amazing qualities that make her who she is. I’m always looking for more support!

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    Claire — July 1, 2012 @ 12:46 pm

    I follow RE and Your Daughter Needs a Hero on fb.

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    Jo @ To a Pretty Life — July 1, 2012 @ 1:32 pm

    My daughter is turning 5 next week. Ever since she was born, I’ve been living in fear and dread of teenagerhood. I just want her to stay innocent and little for as long as possible! I’m thin-ish, according to my friends any way, but I do have a bit of a sugar addiction. So one thing we’ve tried to emphasize with our kids is a love for healthy food. My daughter will often, when she sees me eating something sugary will say in an almost accusatory voice, “Is that healthy for you Mom?”

    Some of the things I love about my daughter include her ability to dance to the music when we’re out shopping, and her love of making up stories and puppet shows. I hope she never ever loses that confidence and always knows and values her own worth.

    Hmm…does that answer the question? I’d love to win this book (though I’ll probably buy it if I don’t). I have a feeling all my friends will want to borrow it too.

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    Theresa J — July 1, 2012 @ 1:42 pm

    My daughter is 17 and I guess over the years I have always encouraged her to be who she is and except others for who they are. Be the first to welcome others. I think she knows her worth and gives so much back to others. I don’t think anyone has mastered self-esteem issues I know that I haven’t but I try to be a positive model in my childrens’ lives

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    Theresa J — July 1, 2012 @ 1:42 pm

    I Follow Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook

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    Brooke — July 1, 2012 @ 2:06 pm

    My daughter is 2 and doesn’t worry yet what her body looks like but I’m hoping this book can help her mother learn ways to accept her own body and in the future help her beautiful little girl!!

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    Brooke — July 1, 2012 @ 2:37 pm

    I follow your daughter needs a hero FB page :)

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    Brooke — July 1, 2012 @ 2:50 pm

    I liked RE on FB!

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    Narah — July 1, 2012 @ 2:53 pm

    As a mother of a young daughter I have started to focus on who she is, not what she is wearing. Kindness, loving as Christ loves us, and rolling what God wants for us.

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    Sheri — July 1, 2012 @ 2:57 pm

    We talk about the importance of everyone’ s body type being different. We also talk about inside beauty. Thanks for the chance at the giveaway!

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    Sheri — July 1, 2012 @ 3:01 pm

    I liked Reluctant Entertainer on FB!!

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    Sheri — July 1, 2012 @ 3:02 pm

    I liked Maria’s Your Daughter Needs a Hero on FB!!

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    kelly — July 1, 2012 @ 3:29 pm

    My daughter is 7 and right now I’m struggling with how to handle self-esteem issues. i pray for her and tell her that God made her beautiful. She is my one and only daughter out of 5 children and this is new territory for me. I’m saddened that she and many of her friends are starting to experience this at such a young age.

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    Rhonda Crowdis Hardisty — July 1, 2012 @ 3:45 pm

    I believe we must model self esteem for our daughters. They take many cues from our behavior. If I complain about features thtat I do not like and they have those same features I am giving them reasons to not like themselves.

    I have liked both of your facebook pages!!

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    Beth — July 1, 2012 @ 4:20 pm

    We haven’t taught self-esteem to any of our kids. What we, I hope, have instilled in them is a sense of God-esteem, who they are in Christ alone.

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    Debbie — July 1, 2012 @ 5:19 pm

    We talk about this all the time. I have three daughters ( 18, 16, 14) that are completely different! The youngest , is 14, and is in love with cheerleading but is not in love with all the negative , hateful remarks from team mates as well as people who hate cheer leaders. I would love this book and it would fit perfect with the ages of my girls now. So….pick me!!!!!!

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    Beach mom — July 1, 2012 @ 5:20 pm

    My daughters are still very young, but I’m already thinking through all of this and would love to read this book! I try to praise my daughters for being beautiful and just how God made them, as well as for who they are on the inside. I feel like it’s a tough balance because every girl desires to hear they are beautiful, especially from their parents, but I also want them to know that they are so, so much more than that!

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    Julia Reffner — July 1, 2012 @ 5:21 pm

    I believe its caught more than taught, so I just try to be an example. And making sure our daughter knows we value the other aspects of her beyond her appearance.

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    sara @ it's good to be queen — July 1, 2012 @ 5:39 pm

    well, my daughter is only 10 months old but i really want to read this book and prepare myself!! after three boys, this girl business is all new territory. excited about this book!

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    Nancy — July 1, 2012 @ 5:46 pm

    It’s a daily thing. I try to always be constructive, but I fail often. We are still trying to find her “thing.” Right now, that happens to be art.

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    Kristy Cirillo — July 1, 2012 @ 6:09 pm

    My daughter is young, 5, but she already says “someone will laugh at me if I wear this” of course no one is laughing at a 5 year old princess. But I always tell her, if you look at yourself in the mirror and smile that’s all that matters. Always smile at yourself.

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    Kristy Cirillo — July 1, 2012 @ 6:09 pm

    I follow Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook

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    Kristy Cirillo — July 1, 2012 @ 6:14 pm

    I follow Your Daughter Needs a Hero Facebook page

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    JennMV — July 1, 2012 @ 7:28 pm

    My daughter is still young, but I see potential self- esteem issues already! I look forward to it!

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    Michelle — July 1, 2012 @ 7:37 pm

    I tell them over and over how beautiful they are…and they are! :-)

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    Michelle — July 1, 2012 @ 7:38 pm

    I follow RE on facebook!

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    Melanie — July 1, 2012 @ 8:10 pm

    I would love to read this book! I talk to my daughter about outward beauty vs. inward beauty and how God looks at our hearts.

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    Melanie — July 1, 2012 @ 8:12 pm

    I liked Your Daughter Needs a Hero on facebook

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    Melanie — July 1, 2012 @ 8:14 pm

    I liked Reluctant Entertainer on Facebook

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    Wendi — July 1, 2012 @ 11:39 pm

    I make it a point to spend time with my daughter in her room, having conversation about what ever she wants to talk about, showing her that I am real and not something that she cannot live up to, and talking to her about her feelings, and then always telling her how beautiful she is, inside and out, and that I am so glad that God made her just the way she is. And then leaving her with a hug and a kiss and an I love you.

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    Wendi — July 1, 2012 @ 11:41 pm

    I love to read RE on FB.

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    Wendi — July 1, 2012 @ 11:43 pm

    I liked Your Daughter Needs a Hero on Facebook.

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    domestos goddess — July 2, 2012 @ 2:03 am

    I know you wouldn’t send me a book to Uk, but I would like to know if I could buy a copy? My lovely, warm-hearted, thoughtful daughter is 14, and struggling with confidence issues. Twice this year she has been offered modelling contracts on the spot whilst out at lunch or shopping, and by properly run, reputable agencies. My husband and I don’t think that modelling is the right career for her, and she needs to concentrate on her schoolwork. She absolutely agrees, but what has made things hard for her is that other chidren at school, which is a Church school, are now saying to her “Well, your life is settled, you’re going to be a model.” as though all she is is cheekbones and legs. We don’t like it, and we are shocked that this attitude also seems prevalent amongst their parents, one of whom has told me that I am being “mean” and “wasteful” in not putting her forward for modelling work. I would not criticise those who work in this way, gosh I like a fashion magazine as much as the next woman, but my girl has so much to offer, and does not need to be tied down at this age.

    What do you think?

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    Lynn Kellan — July 2, 2012 @ 2:57 am

    Both of my daughters are teens now, and I never say the word “diet” around them, and I never talk about my weight or their weight in terms of numbers. Instead, we talk about eating healthy and staying active. I’ve seen too many young ladies (and middle-aged ones) define their worth by the number on the scale, and I never want my girls to do that to themselves.

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    Dawn — July 2, 2012 @ 5:01 am

    As a mom of two beautiful daughters, I am in the thick of it with one right now and just on the beginning edge with the other. Because we homeschool, I mistakenly thought we could somewhat avoid most of the impact of these issues…boy, was I wrong! Besides talking with my older daughter (both my husband and me)and reassuring her of her worth in God’s eyes as well as her physical beauty, we try to help her identify her God-given strengths and talents. Then we offer lots of places to practice those. We see her confidence built when she is able to put her talents into actions. Many times , these are activities that benefit others, which is a win-win. As for my younger girl, though their personalities and gifts are different, she is able to see choices made by her sister and these have been great jumping off points for meaningful conversations.My prayers are with all of us parents navigating these waters teeming with cultural sharks.

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    lisa — July 2, 2012 @ 5:06 am

    Oh I would love to read this book. As a teacher, I see how hard it is for our young people today. I hear many conversations that I would love to how to address as in this book.
    And for my daughter. Thanks Sandi

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    Ranee — July 2, 2012 @ 5:11 am

    When my daughter was very young and people would say to me, in front of her… “young daughter is so pretty or beautiuful”.. I would always make a point to say a polite thank you and add, she’s even prettier on the inside. It was a way to plant the seed in her that inner beauty is really the most important beauty. As she is growing, I know my influence can be over shadowed my her peers. I’m excited to be educated and inspired to be better at continuing to help her grow that understanding.

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    jen t — July 2, 2012 @ 7:27 am

    we spend a lot of time in the Bible looking at what God values. In turn, that gives us the right perspective about ourselves. It’s not easy; the culture seems to have quite a pull on our daughter and I see it is a constant, daily struggle for her to maintain the right perspective. I pray for her constantly…

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    Kari — July 2, 2012 @ 8:26 am

    Even though my daughter is only 3 we focus on praising accomplishments over beauty.

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    star — July 2, 2012 @ 9:07 am

    My daughter is 4 and I’d like to start now making her feel good about herself. I’d love to read this book.

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    Patty — July 2, 2012 @ 9:28 am

    Being a young girl in this day and age (with social media, texting, camera phones, and photo shopping) is so much more difficult than even 25 or 30 years ago when I was experiencing it and thought it excruciating. I think it is all the more important to help our daughters be secure in what matters and that which is lasting and eternal. Talking frequently, openly, and honestly with them is the most important step in my opinion. We need to constantly affirm and remind them of who they are when the world is trying to tell that what they should be.

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    Patty — July 2, 2012 @ 10:01 am

    I have followed you on Facebook.

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    Patty — July 2, 2012 @ 10:04 am

    I am now following Maria’s page on Facebook as well.

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    Jocelyn — July 2, 2012 @ 10:32 am

    I am struggling with this in my 14 year old. She is extremely self consious and I have a hard time saying the right thing to help her feel good about herself. She is so beautiful inside and out but we do have a wall that seems to be built up, by her. My husband and I were just discussing this today and we said to each other “How can we help her through this?” I am sure this is one of those God moments where He leads you to the right place even if I stumbled across your site. If I do not win the book I am happy to know one exists that can help me lead her in His perfect plan. Thank you for blogging about this and God bless you.

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    Amy from Occupation: Mommy — July 2, 2012 @ 11:22 am

    I have three daughters, so this is a huge topic for me. One thing I try to do a lot is to emphasize the value of working hard (over being smart). My girls are all quite intelligent, so I don’t want them to rely on that without learning to try hard at things that don’t come easy to them.

    I also talk about being strong and healthy instead of talking about weight or appearance.

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    Christine Yoder — July 2, 2012 @ 11:54 am

    My daughters are adults now and we got to the other side with laughs and tears and lots of prayers. I work now with an inner city group of preteens that like my children are early on worried about how they project themselves to others, and mostly to the opposite gender. I spent lots of time talking with my girls. One thing I really tried to hammer home was that they needed to be comfortable with who they are. They needed to spend time loving themselves, learning who they were and gaining a worldview to the table of adulthood. I explained to them they did not need a boyfriend/husband to validate their worthiness. They needed to be content and secure in who they were and their talents first, then they were ready to share their life. Now I need to learn myself how to take 18 years of parenting and words of love and wisdom and condense it into useful tools and dialogue for this group of preteens.
    Good luck to you all. As I scroll through and read I offer up a prayer to each one of you and your daughters. May they find their way and live in grace.

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    Jess — July 2, 2012 @ 12:24 pm

    My daughter is only 4, but I plan to address self esteem issues with her by first resolving my own.

    Thanks for the chance to win this book.

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    Jess — July 2, 2012 @ 12:27 pm

    I “like” the Your Daughter Needs a Hero Facebook page.

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    natalie — July 2, 2012 @ 12:28 pm

    My daughter is five and is already starting to realize that she has a baby belly or that she doesn’t look like the other little girls. I’m thankful that she’s vocal and comes to us to ask questions. I make sure to tell her that this is the way God made her and he doesn’t make mistakes; she’s perfect the way he made her.

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    Jess — July 2, 2012 @ 12:29 pm

    I like the Reluctant Entertainer Facebook page. :)

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    Marla — July 2, 2012 @ 12:31 pm

    Some days I just reaffirm how beautiful they are (my husband and I have three daughters, ages 17, 15, and 10). Some days I remind them they belong to God, always try to encourage according to their day and circumstances.

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    Beth — July 2, 2012 @ 1:27 pm

    My daughter is the owner of a thick head of very curly hair (she’s ethiopian) and all of her friends have long straight hair. We are constantly pointing out other women we see with beautiful, naturally curly hair. But most importantly we tell her that God gave her that hair because he thinks it is beautiful on her and we do too.

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    Melissa E. — July 2, 2012 @ 2:51 pm

    I probably talk too much about clothing. I always make a big deal about it when the kids get dressed up. But, one thing I do try to do is talk to my seven year old daughter about how it’s not just a pretty face that matters, but a pretty heart and pretty actions. And all that really matters is faith in Christ. I hope those words speak louder than things I have said about myself (especially since I just had my third baby. I was pretty wrapped up in worrying about weight gain). This book sounds great.

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    Gina — July 2, 2012 @ 2:53 pm

    I need this book! I think one thing we always, always do is remind them that they were beautifully made, they’re young still–and we pray lots and lots for them!

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    Gina — July 2, 2012 @ 2:55 pm

    Now following on Facebook :)

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    Kym — July 3, 2012 @ 6:04 am

    We’ve worked on self esteem issues with our daughters by having them use their gifts to serve others. They can stop focusing on themselves and focus on loving and helping others. They get to see how helping gives other people joy and they get a boost of encouragement as well!

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    Kym — July 3, 2012 @ 6:07 am

    “Liked” the Reluctant Entertainer page and Your Daughter Needs A Hero page!!

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    LAH — July 3, 2012 @ 6:54 am

    My daughter is 14. I try to help her create a positive self-image by encouraging her to find positive aspects in everyone. By finding the “good” in others, it helps us to look within ourselves as well. I would love this book! (Unfortunately, I do not have a Facebook page.)

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    Mary Noman — July 3, 2012 @ 9:09 am

    I would say the first and foremost setting the example and also just being in tune with them and knowing when there is a poblem. Dealing with the problem before it gets out of hand.
    thanks for the chance,
    ‘mary

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    celeste — July 5, 2012 @ 8:48 pm

    My 4 daughters are all at different stages and the teens struggle here most. We’ve tried to focus on the unique strengths God has given each of them and what true beauty is.

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    Carey Simpson — July 6, 2012 @ 7:54 am

    My daughter is just 13 – we focus on her inner and unique strengths – we talk about them all the time….we also talk about how GOD gave her these things and how she can use them for her to day to day dealings with herself and those around her. BUILD UP not down. +she is a competitive swimmer, so this helps in all the exercise, and mental abilities one acquires with this demanding sport. I so want to read this book, as my daughter has great self esteem, but i did not growing up and struggle with it still. I want to be prepared and armed for when my daughter starts to struggle:)

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    ChristenMarie — July 6, 2012 @ 9:41 am

    I have a 9 year old daughter (she will be 10 in September). She is in dance 4 days a week. She does Ballet/Pointe, Tap, Jazz, and Musical Theatre . I try to talk friendships and self esteem with her based on people in my life and my own daily struggles; some which are aparent to her. It helps her see that she is not alone in the struggle but that even at my age we deal with rocky relationships with friends, peer pressure, and self image and self worth. Sometimes I also flip scripts on her and place other people in her shoes and vis versa. It seems to help, but any advice and additional encouragement is greatly appreciated and much needed! As a strong willed female myself, I see me in my daughter every day and it really makes me reflect on things with my mom and how they were handled. Perspective is key..

    I’d love to win a copy of this book!

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    Jess — July 6, 2012 @ 10:26 am

    I constantly tell my three girls how smart and beautiful they are to build up their self esteem.

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    shari — July 6, 2012 @ 7:48 pm

    I encourage my girls to be friends with other girls who are not their age. It is easier to appreciate each other when you are not in the same grade. There are several girls about four years younger than my 13 & 14 year old, that adore my girls. The relationship between groups of multiage girls has such different focus. My 13 year old has a dear sweet soul mate that is only10. My 14 year old has a great friend that is 18, who loves to mentor my daughter and they just all continually support each other outside of the day to day school drama. Not all multiage groups work, but sometimes they really really do.

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    Lauren — July 9, 2012 @ 7:55 am

    Our daughter is only 5 months old, but we are trying to stock up on as much helpful material as possible to combat the messages that we know will be blasted in her face as she grows older. My husband and I would also recommend Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker http://www.megmeekermd.com/2011/03/strong-fathers-strong-daughters-10-secrets-every-father-should-know/.

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    RuthAnn — July 9, 2012 @ 6:04 pm

    luckily, I have a very attentive husband who encourages both me and my daughter constantly, stating that we are beautiful and that he loves his girls (helps mom a little bit too!!)

    Thanks for the chance to win! I’d love to read it!

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    Patty — July 10, 2012 @ 8:20 am

    Wow I would love to win this book. My daughter is 10yrs old and already she is self concious of how she looks. She doesnt like the fact that her belly sticks out. I reassure her that she is beautiful, I even tell her at her age I had a belly that stuck out too. :) Not to worry about it, no matter what, she is beautiful that God sees her as a beautiful precious daughter a jewel. I encourage her to eat healthy and I excercise with her, I tell her look mommy has belly fat too. Basically just reminding her that she is loved and she is beautiful in my eyes and in Gods as well.

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    Harley Mom — July 15, 2012 @ 11:38 am

    Continuing to complement her. Remind her that she is made exactly they way God intended her to be.

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