Tonight I’ll be entertaining eleven of my close blogging friends who are coming into town for a local blogging event with Harry and David.
My husband and I are hosting dinner, and we couldn’t be more thrilled.
But, I’d be lying if I said my fears didn’t get the best of me.
Once I placed the invite, there was no backing out. Of course I have the blessing from my husband–who entertains right alongside with me–and who at one time was a reluctant entertainer himself. We’ve both learned to enjoy the process together, but it for sure takes effort to host a dinner party!
I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t find myself worrying about the food, the weather (blazing hot right now), our house, bathrooms that need remodeling — will it all be good enough?
How will it come together?
Will it be flawless? No.
Will it be worthwhile? Yes.
Will it be rewarding? Yes. A hundred times yes.
I have to fight with everything within me to overcome some of the stupidest, in my mind, worries and struggles. I think most people are this way.
I’ve come up with a list of barriers of why I feel so many of us struggle with hospitality …
Barriers that stop us from entertaining:
Perfectionism. People often feel that their house isn’t nice enough, they don’t have the right space for entertaining, their kids aren’t well-behaved, whatever. I think of perfectionism as the number-one source of party-giving stress.
Over-preparation. Striving to throw the “perfect” party can lead to the unrealistic expectation that you need to clean absolutely every surface, polish the floors, buy new furniture, maybe even cook too much food.
Fear of the unknown. Anxiety over what to cook (will it turn out?), how much food to prepare and how to keep the conversation flowing once the festivities begin can make the prospect of entertaining overwhelming.
Absent or bad role models. Many people are fearful of hosting, because they were simply never shown how. Many didn’t have hospitable parents, so they lack role models, or their parents got so stressed out in party-giving situations that they made entertaining a nightmare.
Tonight my goal is to love and enjoy my friends.
With a great meal. Not a perfect meal, or even gourmet, but a good meal.
Everything is counted and set out (covered up) to beat the heat. And I’ll set the table before the guests arrive. Flowers I’ll talk about in another post. Did I use flowers, or ??? (a fun surprise)! Menu all in place, thanks to Harry and David and a little shopping spree from Miz Laurie at the Country Village Store.
2 Drop Cloths for tablecloths @ $10/each.
Napkins ready with a fun surprise from The Hip Hostess (stay tuned, giveaway to come on RE!)
Tables put together. I love one long table!
Tonight I won’t look around at all the things that didn’t get done, but instead I’ll see the beauty of the gift of friendship before me, and relish each moment.
Which of the 4 barriers gets in your way and stops you from hosting others in your home?
Hi, I'm Sandy. Five years ago I stocked up on beautiful glasses from the Dollar Store. As I started writing about dinner parties, I realized that this "icon" portrays a great message. 
I want to share with you some of my favorite places to visit in blog-land, sites that I learn from and am inspired by, and some beautiful friends that I’ve met over the years.
Oh, you’ll have so much fun tonight!! For me, it’s definitely fear that prevents me from entertaining. Will everyone have a good time? What will I say? Will the food be okay? …but those concerns rarely are an issue (except for maybe the food part!).
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I am totally the absent role model thing, but sometimes it comes in handy because since I don’t know all the formal rules I end up throwing very laid back parties that my friends with their busy lives truly do appreciate.
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Am interested to see what Napkin Swags are! I love setting the table. It’s one of my favorite parts of entertaining.
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All four of the barriers get in my way, but I fight through the anxiety and entertain anyway. Have fun tonight, Sandy! I can’t wait to hear (and see) how your dinner went!
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Oh to be one of those treasured guests – how lovely that you’ll be spending the evening with other bloggers. It will be wonderful I’m sure.
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Kristen Reply:
August 15th, 2012 at 11:46 pm
It was perfect in each and every way. Thank you ,,
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So sad I couldn’t be there tonight! Have an amazing time!!!
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I think all of these affect me. Really, #4 can encompass the other 3 as well.
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Aww….you’re so cute. Everyone will love your dinner party
Have fun loves!! xoxo
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I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you could possible not be stressed. I know I’d be in a huge battle if it were me. You have a lot to teach us and I can’t wait to spend an evening in your home, enjoying the most important thing: fellowship. Love ya! See you soon!
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Sandy it will all be lovely! As hard as it is to practice what you preach, listen to your inner you, relax and be yourself. Looking forward to see what you cook up!!
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Space and our old house is what is keeping me from hosting parties. we live in a 100 year old house and I hate it so much! There is no room and even when I scrub and scrub it still doesn’t look clean enough! I can’t wait to see more post about your party though!
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Great post! I think for me it would be perfectionism…not that I feel that it has to be perfect, but is it really good enough for so and so…I can’t wait to read more abou this night.
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Omgosh it will be amazing!! It is ironic, we have a fairly large home we rent right now, over , but we don’t have a dining room, just a kitchen nook for 4. We have a lovely backyard, but no table there either, lol. Just a small set for us two. For Thanksgiving last year we had 11 of our family members here. We converted our front room into a dining room, with our kitchen dining table, and old Ikea table we had in our basement, it was pretty funny. But what mattered is that we were all together enjoying each others company:). I hope you have an amazing evening with your friends, it will be perfect!
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Oh Sandy you will have an amazing time!!! Love the use of drop clothes for table clothes. I bought 2 drop clothes to recover some of the cushions on some benchs on our deck, but alas that is a project that has not yet happened! Your only concern would be the wreched heat, and I do not know about you up there in Medford but here in the Redding area we are socked in with smoke from all of the fires….. Take a deep breath, smile and ENJOY……. you will be awesome!!
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie.
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I use to worry so much about the house not being “up to par” but I soon realized it was ME the guests were looking at! I love entertaining and it truly doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have or if the food isn’t perfect or if you run out of conversation. Just be in the moment! Have a great time with your friends and watch all the compliments come your way!!
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kangopie Reply:
August 16th, 2012 at 9:07 am
I’ve been learning this one – I’m single and I rent this house out with a friend with an incredibly tiny kitchen but I entertain anyway… No one seems to be bothered with our little space.
Infact I entertain more than friends with beautiful houses (^.^)
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Definitely the top three get to me. All the time. Thanks for helping me feel normal! Thanks for helping us keep the right perspective on why we have people over–such an important exercise. We have to nurture our relationships! I love those napkin swags. Super cute! Have a wonderful night with your blogging friends tonight. Everything will be great!
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Ah ha!!! I tried to get reservation to go on the Harry & David tour on Friday. They told me they were not having tours on August 16 & 17. I’ll bet they are closed for a blogger invasion. Have fun!!!
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Don’t spend so much time on the planning that when you are guest arrive your counting down from them to leave.
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Oh friend, how I love this post…
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I adore entertaining and I love using all my “pretty things” that tend to get saved up for “special” occasions, but my biggest reason for not opening up my home more often is my kids. At 2 and 4, they don’t sit for more than 2 minutes at any meal, and whatever is cleaned does not stay that way for more than 2 minutes. Just getting around the cleaning it to where I feel it is presentable enough is hard.
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Drop cloths for table cloths?! I’ll have to look into that! What a lovely evening, with an extraordinary group of gals. I’m sure it was a bit intimidating, but knowing you, you pulled it off just right…and it was lovely and welcoming and relaxing and delicious. xo
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Perfectionism! And…..I have a terrible case of OCD, so watching people put glasses down on my antique end tables, spilling food on my carpet and just wandering around my house sends me into a tailspin. Married for 18 years and I had one big party at my house and also hosted a Pampered Chef party. Never, never again. Sad Life, I know.
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Perfectionism is a huge problem for me. And over preparation. I often regret cleaning so much for a party because the clean up after a party is even more!
I’m glad you overcame your fears because the party looked like (from the pictures) it went off without a hitch!
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