“If thou desire the love of God and man, be humble, for the proud heart, as it loves none but itself, is beloved of none but itself. Humility enforces where neither virtue, nor strength, nor reason can prevail.” -Francis Quarles

A few years passed without seeing a particular family, and it took almost a year to get a date on the calendar where all of our kids would be home and together. Over Christmas break our two families came together for what someone peeking in would say was a rather “lively” or “energetic” meal.

The other night, my husband and I were reminiscing about our time together over the holidays, how impressed we were with all the teenagers sitting around our dinner table, so polite, so full of zest, with a zeal for life–and actually, very humble about their many accomplishments. A few came back from college, a couple still in high school, we didn’t have to tell them ahead of time how to behave, to put their cell phones away, to interact with other people, to engage in the conversation, or how to be a part of the evening. All of the kids knew what to do, were free to voice their opinions, and participated in the evening in many ways.

We shared college stories, literature, spiritual matters. Pandora was playing, kids were singing, the piano and violin played late into the evening … we spent hours together on a Saturday night. Later we knew this evening would be a memory our family would never forget. Taking it a step further, maybe even a spiritual moment. I know it was for me; maybe for all.

We barely got started with the dinner–I think we were on the salad course–when already there were so many common interests that a person could not finish two sentences without someone else chiming in.

This is where the spoon came in.

We resorted to passing a spoon, which meant the person holding the spoon could speak. In some cultures, you may have heard of “passing the stick” in the same regard.

Passing the Spoon: The person whose hand is holding the spoon gets to hold court–to speak, without being interrupted. Everyone else listens, holds their comments or ideas, and waits. It’s a way to bring order to conversation, which we needed. What we gained was, by focusing on one person at a time, the “spoon” allowed even the quieter person to get in on the conversation.

Paul and I counted the years of parenting for both families put together–almost 40 years.

Forty years of parenting … that is a lot of hard work, perseverance, prayer, teaching–put into our kids.

Forty years, well-worth the energy of every minute spent guiding and directing, loving and disciplining …

Have you ever used the “spoon” approach to conversation around your dinner table?

Can you believe how quickly the holidays arrived this year? And now that Christmas is over, we get to look forward to New Year’s Eve and Day!

When it comes to a party, I wonder how many of us worry about it going on too long, what’s the etiquette way of ending a party (when you’re exhausted and ready for your guests to leave), and how do you do it all with class?

I mean, how do you send your guests out the door in a time frame that works for you?

Is it ok to end a party when your guests are having a good time?

A couple of readers asked me these questions:

Sandy, I want to know how you were able to wrap things up and encourage guests to leave graciously. This is sometimes a problem for me, although a good problem, as it means that people are still having a good time!

And …

How did you “wrap things up”? We had a family over for an impromptu casual dinner not too long ago and they stayed until 11:00 (on a school night too)! We even started putting the kids to bed and that didn’t work…

What’s worked for my family and me for many years is simple. Because we’ve all had guests or family members who won’t leave, we don’t want to feel “caught” or “stuck” and let our graciousness fly out the door.

So I’ve come up with these tips to help “wrap up the party” – with grace and style!

-When you’re holding a party, think ahead to the time when you’d like the party to end.

-Be flexible – don’t be married to that time, because you may be having such a good time extending out the party.

-If you have to be done by a certain time – let your guests know ahead of time. Most guests would be sensitive to the host’s needs.

-After the last course is served, and conversation is winding down, stand up and head into the kitchen (you can even start on the dishes).

-If the night is getting later than you had planned – go put your slippers on!

-Feel free to explain that you have to get up early – start moving toward the door.

Obviously, the sign of a great party is when the guests don’t want to leave.

When I think about all of the entertaining we’ve done, I can hardly think of a time when our guests weren’t sensitive to our family’s needs if we needed to wind it down by a certain time.

And my husband’s quick-witted humor always comes out as our friends leave, when he says, “Come back when you can’t stay as long!” (It’s our family joke.)

With New Year’s right around the corner, when we’re “given to hospitality,” enjoying the spirit of the holidays with friends and family, let’s not be so quick to get to the next event, or fall into bed exhausted from cramming too much in to our schedules, that we lose our grace.

Being sensitive, but keeping our style and our grace as we open our homes and extend hospitality to others, is a good thing to keep in mind.

What are your tips for gracious ways of ending a party?

My favorite part of Thanksgiving is more than the food. It’s connecting and enjoying a day of togetherness. This year our family is invited to join another family for our Thanksgiving meal. We’re dividing up the meal (the hosts usually do more, don’t they?) and our family is really looking forward to a new experience.

New holiday experiences are a treat. Creating new memories is a gift we can give our kids. And the connection around the table is just priceless.

Here are some great reminders on how to connect, if you feel that your gathering may lack pizazz:

1. Give Thanks.
2. Each person says one thing they are thankful for this year.
3. Adults share a Thanksgiving memory regarding how they celebrated as a child.
4. Each person shares who or what has been the greatest teacher in their life in the past year, and why.
5. Invite someone new to the table and share your traditions with them.

One thing I also love about Thanksgiving is cranberries. Cranberry sauce is so tasty, and we use the leftovers served over brie cheese in the days that follow. Cranberries can be used for decorating, a “night before TG dinner” (this is yummy … Butternut Mushroom Bread Pudding), or how about doubling the recipe and making this yummy Cranberry-Hazelnut Bread?

I used walnuts because I didn’t have hazelnuts, and it was delicious.

Perfect for TG Day breakfast!

Festive and excellent to freeze and give away during the holiday season.

What’s your favorite part of Thanksgiving?

I caught myself. Guilty!

As I was standing in line at the grocery store, cell phone in one hand, fingers moving quickly while emailing in the other hand, I suddenly felt disconnected.

I felt disconnected to the person who was serving me, ringing up my groceries, helping me, working as quickly as possible to get me through the line and on my way and out the door.

It felt odd.

I looked up, put my phone down, and then I apologized.

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be on my phone while checking out. How rude of me!

I’m not sure what’s happened to our society, but I’m just as guilty as anyone. I’ve caught myself several times doing the above, and it feels yucky. So impersonal, so disrespectful, so rude.

From now on I am going to try to be more aware of the people around me, rather than the technology in my hand.

And then I had a moment last week of “connecting.” I work part time at a very cool design store in southern Oregon, and see many wonderful people come through the doors.

This warm fall afternoon a little lady came in with 2 bags on her arm. She was tiny, small bones, dressed very fashionable, and you could just tell she knew what she wanted. She was kind, had a twinkle in her eye, asked me a few questions, and then she set her bags down and opened one up.

I have something for you.

I felt like a little girl waiting for a one-cent piece of candy.

Inside the bag she pulled out the most beautiful heirloom tomato I had ever seen and offered it to me.

What happened next felt right.

We had the warmest conversation. A true connection. I found myself loving the dialogue with this complete stranger.

Face time. One-on-one.

I brought the tomato home, took a quick picture, and then I set it out in the sun to warm up, as if it were picked off the vine.

Warmer connections come when we stop what we are doing and engage with others, even with complete strangers.

You never know when you will brighten someone’s day, even in the grocery line.

Does technology ever get in the way of your personal contact with others?

If you missed previous days to 31 Days of Warm Connections …
Day 1 (and 700 31 Day Bloggers): Secret Ingredient to Warmer Connections
Day 2: Bringing the Beauty of Autumn to Your Table
Day 3: Multi-Generational Pear Applesauce
Day 4: Canning Suncrest Peaches with a Friend
Day 5: How to Find Contentment
Day 6: Encouragement with Easy Pear Cobbler
Day 7: Bush’s Garbanzos, Chicken, and Quinoa Soup for a Sports Family
Day 8: More About Others

When I was a little girl, my parents had a large circle of friends and family, so it wasn’t uncommon for us to be invited to dinner almost every weekend. I wish at the time I would have had more mature eyes to notice mom’s sweet ways of saying “thank you,” as we’d be greeted at the front door.

Mom would give a hug and she’d hold her hand out with a precious gift.

A thank you gift.

A hostess gift.

They were never expensive and were rarely store-bought.

Many times, in Mom’s hands were garden treats or flowers from her yard.

Or something yummy in a jar.

Today it might be a fun potholder or a lotion or soap.

A fresh couple of kitchen towels.

It could even be a roll of MyDrap paper napkins.

The point was not to impress, but to say thank you.

The reality today is that, even if you don’t have time to bring a specific hostess gift when you’re invited out, a hug will usually do. (But there’s always chocolate, wine, baked breads or a fun kitchen gadgets, if you really insist on more than a hug.)

What are your favorite hostess gifts to bring?

Next time you want to treat your favorite hostess, consider one of these delicious recipes instead:
Homemade Chocolate Sauce
Homemade Salsa
Flip-Over Strawberry/Raspberry Jam
Apple Pie in a Jar

I’m linking to Add a Pinch today. Every Monday you can link and share on Robyn’s Mingle Monday!

Thanks for joining me in my “30 Days of Summer Entertaining” series.

Summer Entertaining in my mind is fun and lively. But not for everyone …

Some people worry that their guests will be bored. That they can’t carry the conversation, so what will they talk about?

I was inspired by this comment on RE:

My one stressor is that people will be “bored.” I’m good with cooking and decorating and dreaming up a theme. But people mingling, finding something to talk about, and getting along are all things out of my control. I feel like if good mingling doesn’t happen, it’s all my fault and the party will be a flop.

Depending on if you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you may need to come up with a plan on how to keep the conversation strong!

How to pre-plan the conversation:

Think of 3 questions ahead of time and write the “key words” on the palm of your hand, so you won’t forget them.

If times get quiet or awkward, resort to one of your questions.

If you live with someone, make a plan together.

Entertaining should be sweet and relaxing, not stressful and boring.

Summer Berry Crisp (strawberries from our patch ...)
Serves 6-8

Filling:
6-8 cups assorted fresh berries (I used strawberries and blueberries)
Grated zest of 1 orange
Grated zest of 1 lemon
1 T. fresh lemon juice
2 T. orange-flavored liqueur such as Cointreau or Grand Marnier
1/2 cup sugar
2 T. cornstarch

Topping:
3/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour (all-purpose will work, too)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/3 cup coconut
1/2 cup walnuts
1/2 cup rolled oats (not instant)
6 T. unsalted butter (3/4 stick)

1. Preheat oven to 375. Spray a 9×13 pan with Pam and set aside.

2. Add the berries, zests, lemon juice and liqueur in a large bowl.

3. In a separate small bowl combine the sugar and cornstarch and stir with a fork. Add to the berry mixture and lightly toss. Transfer the berry mixture to the sprayed 9×13 pan.

4. Make the topping by mixing all ingredients except the butter together with a fork. Then add in the butter, mixing it into the dry ingredients by using your fingers. Sprinkle the topping over the berries but do not pack it down.

5. Bake the crisp until the fruit juices bubble up around the edges, and topping turns golden, 30-40 minutes.

Let this scrumptious Summer Berry Crisp cool slightly, and then serve with either whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.

I promise, if you serve this dessert to your guests, there will be plenty of discussion around your table.

And your worries about “conversation” will be gone.

Do you feel being an introvert or an extrovert has anything to do with carrying the conversation at a dinner party?

If you’ve missed the last 22 days of this series, you can catch up, HERE.

Feel free to grab my button and share it with your readers .

<a href=”http://reluctantentertainer.com”><img src=”http://reluctantentertainer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/30dosu125Flowers”</a>

The winner of the National Pork Board GIVEAWAY is Lana from Never Enough Thyme. Totally random that she has a pork recipe up today, too! Anyway, Congrats, Lana!

Thanks for joining me in my “30 Days of Summer Entertaining” series.

Candles have been around forever, and for outdoor entertaining, they add the glow and feel that makes the night very intimate.

That is, if you are in the company of good people and inspiring conversation.

One tip for keeping the conversation healthy? Talk about positive things, encourage one another, learn not to gossip and cut others down. In some homes “hospitality” happens, but to be honest, it’s always talk about other people and what they are doing. It’s small talk and gossip.

A great saying goes like this:

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and little minds discuss people.

My favorite candles for outdoor entertaining are the very large tea lights. I have a hard time finding them in any other stores but IKEA. They now carry the large colored ones, too.

The tall glass jars are perfect for the outdoors because when the wind picks up, the flame won’t go out.

As the evening fades, candles actually enhance the mood.

Oh, and the conversation might get a little heated, especially when passion is involved, but if it’s built around something meaningful and substantial … the flame will never go out!

(Again … study the above quote.)

Do you try to create a positive mood and conversation around your table when hosting a dinner party?

If you’ve missed the last 9 days of this series, you can catch up now:

Day 1: Summer Entertaining is About the People
Day 2: When Perfect Robs You of Something Good
Day 3: Who To Invite to Dinner
Day 4: Planning the Menu for Outdoor Entertaining
Day 5: Setting the Table Using What You Have
Day 6: Using One Classic Water Glass
Day 7: Napkin Options for Summer Entertaining
Day 8: When You Feel Like Canceling the Party
Day 9: Leave Your Technology at the Front Door

Feel free to grab my button and share it with your readers .

<a href=”http://reluctantentertainer.com”><img src=”http://reluctantentertainer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/30dosu125Flowers”</a>

… here’s Coryanne …

The spring holidays are upon us: guests are ringing door bells, hostesses are clicking their heels and before we know it, the merriment will pass and the memories of those festive spring celebrations will fade….unless you have a guest book on hand to collect them.

Call me a traditionalist, but I adore reading guest books and leaving guest comments. However the tradition of having a guest book in your home disappeared with the milkman. The timeless guest book is a catalogue of your guests name, address, date and comment…however there are many ways to update this classic memory journal and reintroduce them as a staple of your home celebrations.

Photographs are timeless, but adding another layer to your memories, one that you enjoy upon reflection or share at your next party brings everyone together and keeps your memories alive longer. Here are a few of my favourite guest books that hold the memories that make our house a home:

The creative journal—Perfect for family parties, invite your guests to draw a picture of the gathering, people attending or choose a theme for them to get creative with. It keeps the younger guests entertained and surprisingly, after a few glasses of wine, the older guests get a burst of creative genius too.

The wine journal—Knowing what your guests think of the bottle you shared will help you in decide your wine menu for your next dinner party, and give you a further chance to understand the complexities of wine tasting.

The conversation journal—This acts as a great ice-breaker and really opens up the conversation when you are entertaining a group of guests who are newly acquainted. Pass the journal around and ask people to capture quotes from the evening.

The Joke Journal

The joke journal—Great for cocktail parties, encourage your guests to note down their favorite joke in the book, everyone will love sharing new entries and reading past ones.

The recipe journal—Great for coffee mornings or casual luncheons with friends, encourage your guests to share their favorite recipe. This is the perfect opportunity to not only collect new recipes but allow your guests to share their culinary favorites.

Do you keep a guest book or journal in your house for guests to sign?

Coryanne lives in Arizona with her husband, 3 small children and rather mischievous miniature schnauzer. And that’s a stylish Hip Hostess apron that she’s wearing – so classy! To learn more about Coryanne’s view of domesticity, visit www.housewifebliss.com

March is the perfect month to entertain because you’ve made it through the winter months and now it’s time to start thinking about Spring. If you’ve been following Simple Mom and her Project Simplify, then you’ve been cleaning out the closets and tidying up the nest a bit.

Which is the perfect time to invite some friends on over for dinner! Right?

If you’re worried about conversation, then make it easy and ask this simple question to your guests:

What’s your favorite memory of someone in the room?

Now, this could really be a fun night!

Are you planning on inviting guests over for dinner this month, and will you be using a conversation starter?

Would you be willing to come back and tell me how it went?

Don’t forget to enter this amazing GIVEAWAY! There’s still time …

During my early years of entertaining I took pride in planning a 5-6 course meal. I say pride, because that is when I was in to: “impressing,” and unnecessarily so. (You can read more about this in my book, The Reluctant Entertainer.)

Here’s what I take into consideration when deciding whether to serve appetizers or not:
- the cost of the meal
- how I’m delegating the entrees
- the amount of food
- the time frame of the evening
- how many people are coming
- if wine is being served

Appetizers aren’t always essential, only because we are trying to eat LESS food these days. But they can still be served, and a “light” appetizer is nice. But they don’t have to be elaborate. Having a little something to munch on (like nuts or chips and a dip or crackers and cheese) is perfect for this course.

When our friends came for dinner last weekend, I didn’t put much thought into what I served because I already had the ingredients.

To be prepared, keep these ingredients on hand:
- cheese
- crackers
- fruit
- nuts
- chutney (Harry & David chutney is always stocked in my pantry)

With a simple display and some small plates and cocktail napkins, create an intimate setting and ENJOY a few bites, but I say let’s save our efforts for the main meal, right?

Do you think appetizers are essential, or can you do without?

(I served a Mozzarella Log Wrapped In Prosciutto and Honey Crisp apples with crackers.)

When I got this lovely lined basket for Christmas, filled with some “carefully crafted, thoughtful, gourmet, Italian” ingredients (post to come), I knew I wanted to fill it with something special and not just store it with my other baskets.

I’ve also had a running list of “thank you notes” running through my mind, of people I need to thank for some savory meals that we’ve had over the holidays.

I’d love to hear your thoughts regarding whether you send thank you notes for every single gift you receive at Christmastime, or if you forego notes for verbal thank you’s?

I tend to send thank you notes for dinner parties or meals that we’re invited to at Christmas, but not for every gift, plate of cookies, or loaf of bread. I think at Christmas a call or an email or a “thank you” at the time of delivery is enough.

I decided to fill this lovely basket with my collection of thank you notes. What a brilliant idea! To have a place of their own, a basket I can carry over with me to the sofa and sit down and think and write …

Okay, this is my favorite box of cards that I have right now. I bought them at the CIA in Napa Valley during this trip …

But usually I find my thank you notes at yard sales during the summertime. You can get such a bargain on unique cards this way.

Which reminds me, I have a few to write right now …

How do you handle thank you notes at Christmas time? And how do you store your cards?

Thanksgiving Day should be a time of enjoyment with friends and family. I’ve had several questions come in from readers regarding mealtime conversation and relationships in general. Holidays can be hard or they can be easy, but I think it’s surprising how hard they are on most people. Many people have difficult family or friends in their lives and they’ve learned how to suck it up, even though it weighs heavily on their minds.

How do you keep conversation going and make sure that everyone is included?

Many people fear conversation. And as I share in a chapter on this topic in my new book, I believe pre-planning a few questions in advance can really help with the flow of conversation around the table.

For Thanksgiving Day, here are a few easy questions to ask your guests:

1. What are you thankful for?

2. Share an experience you had this past year where you felt truly grateful for something unusual?

3. Share a childhood Thanksgiving memory that you are fond of?

Here’s a question many of us ask: How do you deal with someone who’s always critical?

It’s true, sometimes there’s a “bad apple” in the group who’s always negative.

1. Learn to steer the conversation in a different direction.
2. Seat the negative person between 2 positive people.
3. Pull them aside and ask them to curtail their negative comments (for the day – purdy please?). Sometimes people just need to be made aware of their negativism.
4. Learn from their negative attitude and become a more positive person yourself.

I want to share one of my favorite Thanksgiving Day recipes with you today. It’s a bit “out of the box” from your traditional potatoes, but as an Irish Family, it’s perfect for our day.

Smashed Potato, Parsnips and Rutabaga
Recipe courtesy from Paula Deen

Prep Time:25 min Inactive Prep Time:– Cook Time:12 min
Serves: 10 to 12 servings

Ingredients:
8 cups quartered red potatoes
4 cups chopped and peeled parsnip
1 rutabaga, peeled and chopped
1 onion, chopped
3 tablespoons salt, divided
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 stick butter
Freshly ground black pepper

Directions:
In a large Dutch oven, combine potatoes, parsnips, rutabaga, onion, and 2 tablespoons salt; add water to cover. Bring to a boil over high heat; reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 10 to 12 minutes or until tender. Drain well. Add remaining salt, cream cheese, butter, and a dash of pepper. Mash together.

I’d love to hear what typically happens around your table on Thanksgiving Day.

Do you put thought into your mealtime conversation, or does it just flow?

(Feel free to email me any questions that you may have and I will try to give you a personal email back.)

I’ve realized that this last few weeks our family has really been blessed. I have to admit, I have not had to do a lot of cooking because we’ve been asked out on several occasions. And the part I love is that for most events, our family of 5 was invited. Our family unit is changing here in a week as our son goes off to college, so I think our friends have had that life change in mind.

As I sat down today to write out my thank you notes, I decided to make a post out of it, because I feel that written notes are often a lost art now. It’s a part of hospitality that gets swallowed up in text messaging, emails, and phone calls. Not that recipients are not grateful, it’s just a loss of personableness.

So with great intentions and heartfelt thanks, I set out to write 6 great thank you notes and wanted to share my tips:

Start with the date and salutation
Send your note within two weeks of receiving the gift/invitation.

Say thanks right away
Be specific about why you are writing the note. If you’re thanking someone for a monetary gift, refer to their generosity, and you don’t have to mention the amount.

Compliment the kind gesture
Don’t be afraid to be really generous with your words. Everyone loves a compliment, and make it heartfelt.

Think about the future
Anticipate another get-together, or if you’re writing about a gift, be sure to tell them how you plan to use it.

Finish with sincerity
Reiterate your gratitude, then close your words on an intimate note, signing your name(s).

Read it through one more time and pop it in the mailbox!

Okay, now a time for honesty.

Do you write handwritten thank you notes?

I often wonder what ordinary meals are like in other homes. Many times I can double up my cooking, and then we have leftovers the next night … or two, or three. I am definitely not slaving in the kitchen all the time, although I wish I had more time to try out new recipes. I sometimes feel like I get stuck in a rut with my cooking. I often hear of other women who feel the same way!

Earlier this week, as it was a rare night with everybody home, I made an Alfredo Sauce and added pulled chicken, fresh spinach, and served it over pasta.

Along with freshly baked bread (frozen from Costco, bake at 375 for 23 minutes!)

And salad from the garden.

I added apricot jam and balsamic vinegar to the green beans. Delicious!

We served it up and had a tasty meal with enthusastic conversation (how can it not be zippy with 3 teenagers?)

- We always go around the table and ask about the highs and lows of the day.
- When our kids talk, we listen. We never shut them down.
- The table is a safe place. Anything can be said.
- There’s always room for sadness, passion, and a lot of laughter.

Here are some ingredients I try to keep on hand for last minutes meals like this:

1. Pulled chicken, frozen in a Ziploc bag
2. Pasta
3. Whipping cream
4. Parmesan cheese

You can then add whatever veggies you have in the fridge, like zucchini, spinach, peppers, etc.

What’s an ordinary meal that you keep the ingredients on hand for?

I love the meal that we had this last weekend when our friends came for dinner. We’re really aiming to eat healthier as a family, and it had been awhile since we had steak, so we wanted to treat our guests. When we entertain we usually try to keep it as simple as possible: meat, potatoes, veggies on the grill and a salad and bread.

The lovely part about the evening was that it was our first time to eat outside this year! We hosed down the back patio, pulled out the new umbrellas that we had stored in the shed, and spruced up the entertaining area a bit.

It wasn’t perfect, but the evening temp was perfect, the food was tasty and the company and conversation was soul-inspiring!

First off, my son set the table. Teenage boys don’t know the difference between a salad fork and a regular fork. Or if they do, they don’t really care! So the table was set with salad forks. Now normally I would have just left it, but I do think adults like to use a regular fork with dinner, so I swapped them out. Oh, and he used the larger spoon, but I left that in the setting. I’m always reminding myself that things do not have to be perfect.

The tags were still hanging on the new umbrellas. I purchased a stash of umbrellas about 3 years ago on sale for $19.99, and have stored them in the shed.

We started off with a delicious bean dip, packed with crisp, juicy vegetables. I can’t wait to share this recipe with you in my NEW BOOK. It’s so good, it’s almost a meal!

Getting the food ready to barbeque …

We cut fresh chives from the garden for the potatoes, to go along with the salad and bread.

And fresh flowers from the yard.

The lights were strung and added a beautiful ambience when the sun went down.

In the morning, it looked like this. This is where we had a fire the night before, sitting for hours, talking with the kids, laughing and telling stories. We laughed with each other. We laughed at ourselves! There were some pretty funny moments!

Hosting a dinner party is a way to reflect God’s love through hospitality.

Share the preparation with your friends allows them to contribute to the meal so you don’t have to carry the burden of the cost. And if you haven’t thought about Easter yet, it’s time! My friend Anne and I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote out what we plan to serve for Easter Brunch this year.

I’m not sure if we’ll be able to eat outside for Easter this Sunday, but even if it’s too chilly, we can still open the doors and let the fresh air in …

I’d love to hear if you’ve opened your doors to outdoor dining this year? And how’s your Easter menu coming along?

Don’t forget tomorrow is Home is … Day here at RE! Link up and share about a delicious scent in your home! Check out the side bar for the weekly post ideas. You can read more details at the end of this post.

Have I told you how much I love impromptu? Actually, it wasn’t always that way. I used to always need a heads up, or advanced warning if friends were stopping by. But I’ve learned to relax a bit …

My nephew and niece were coming for tacos – Easy.

Our friends stopped by on their way through town – Easy.

Just add more rice and beans to stretch the meal – Easy.

What I loved about this evening in particular was that our friends who were coming through town were friends with my parents, years ago. In fact, they were both in their wedding!

I took a very special dish, passed down from my Mom, that I had tucked away in the garage, just waiting to use at the perfect meal. Being about 50+ years old, it was still in its original box.

This was the night – as I used it for the condiments for our Mexican meal. I also thought about the friendship my Mom and Vinnie had as young girls.

After dinner, Vinnie and I were looking at the backside of the dishes and each piece was marked, Made in California, with a number … 183, 188, etc.

Vinnie reminisced about how these line of dishes were the rave in California. Everybody had them!

Not knowing the value, I knew it was worth a lot to me just because it was my Mom’s!

Don’t you just love impromptu, adding rice and beans to stretch a meal, and pulling out a memory piece for good conversation?

Or, can you think of something sentimental that would create good mealtime conversation?

(Don’t forget there is still time to enter to win a ticket to A Woman Inspired online conference coming up later this month! 5 winners will be announced tomorrow!)

ADDED: A sweet reply from my friend Vinnie after she read the above post.

Sandy My Sweet Friend: I loved what you wrote about the dishes from Millie on your blog in fact I shed a few tears remembering our climb on the mountian and her wedding. What fun times we had together. I bet somewhere is a list of Millie’s gift registry and who gave that gift to her at her wedding. It would be so interesting to know.

I love sharing that part of my long ago life with you, I know Millie would be happy knowing we are friends, I have so many sweet letters from her also that I have saved.

No, we were going to forget about our finances, just for the evening, and do what we all knew and craved. Every person in our home that night knew how to exercise their gift of giving – and that was giving and participating in meaningful conversation.

What took place in our home was real entertaining for real people!

Every Good Gift
My husband and I have had a vision over the years to give of ourselves in our home and to others. We’ve been given a gift of a good marriage. And during these years of raising our children, we’ve been challenged to use this gift in our home by inviting other couples in, and by being authentic with one another and talking about real life issues.

As we celebrated old friends moving back into our neighborhood, we gathered for appetizers, delicious cranberry feta green salad, fresh bread, salmon and roasted potatoes and green beans. A very light-tasting Pear Crumble was served for dessert.

Yes, the food was delicious, but what will be remembered more than anything is the deep level that our words took us to. And the spirit and mood that were set! As my husband and I reminisced about our time, we both decided people of a variety of faiths would have loved what took place around our table.

5 Hours of Talk
For five hours, as we sat around our dining table, we talked about important things (no, not finances!). Really, to sum it up we spoke the language of love and of courage, and it was very challenging talk!

We all decided that our homes and churches and our nation need women and men with more than active hearts and keen minds. We need people with courage! And to be real with you, some of the topics we covered were the many marriages being torn apart, recovering from sexual abuse, troubled children, a legal but compassionate response to immigration, and the struggles between church and parachurch organizations. Again – real life issues.


Dinner came and went, as I jumped up in between courses to wait on our guests. As we engaged in the battle of courage – of standing up for what is right in this world, no matter what the cost – bodies were leaning forward, tones of voices were rising in passion, tears were being shed, and our ears were very open to the spirit moving!

Five hours later, I believe we summed up the message, that courageous faith will empower men and women to serve and protect those who are weak and vulnerable.

Are we really supposed to cocoon ourselves and protect ourselves from the world? Or do we take the risk of giving and loving others, in every capacity that we are capable of?

Yes, it’s about Courage
That capacity for us last night was saying “yes” to entertaining. As we had some very, very courageous folk around our table, I was challenged in a much greater way, as I was awakened to this provocative call and my faith was stretched, even outside of my comfort zone!

Courage and Food
Once again, I am amazed at how God can draw us out, and open us up, and stretch and use us – over an easy home-cooked meal (I delegated the meal 3 ways – with Anni and Carrie), in our very simple home.

What is the most interesting conversation you’ve had over a meal lately?

Pear Crumble
Peel, core and slice 6 large pears. Place slices in 8 lightly sprayed ramekins. Sprinkle 2 tsp. of rum over the slices in each ramekin. Set aside.

Combine 4 Tbsp. butter, ½ cup quick cooking oats and ½ cup chopped pecans in a small skillet. Cook over medium heat until lightly browned.

Stir in 4 Tbsp. brown sugar, 1 tsp. ground cinnamon, ¼ tsp. ground allspice, and ¼ tsp. ground cloves.

Sprinkle topping over the pears.

Making Rum Cream
Combine 1 cup of Vanilla Ice Cream (softened), 4 Tbsp. rum and ¼ tsp. ground nutmeg.

Stir well, then store in freezer. Twenty minutes before ready to serve the Pear Crumble, remove from the freezer to soften.

Bake the ramekins at 375 for 30 minutes, or until pears are tender. Right before serving, put a small scoop of the softened Rum Cream on the warm Pear Crumble.

1 Year Ago on RE: “The Conversation” – Men & Entertaining

For our family, dinnertime is very lively – with or without guests. We dive into each other’s lives by asking a lot of questions. By caring and often going to this deeper level, we are saying, “I accept you.” And by asking great questions, we discover what is true about our friends.

Did you know that by asking the right questions, you can actually validate a person? We confirm that we care about what they are saying, by listening to where they are coming from. You open up a place where your guest can speak his/her mind and opinions, in an atmosphere of safety. But these questions do more than draw out thoughts: they allow us to understand each other better – our talents, gifts and abilities.

Intimacy cannot be driven, forced or demanded. It is something that must be drawn out in a relationship. There is so much that we need to ask, and that we can learn from each other. We also grow closer to one another when we confide and share.

Here is a story that opened my eyes to true intimacy around the table, as a newly-married woman. This dinner became etched in my mind and it changed me, in how I view conversation around the table:

I was a young mother of one son with one on the way. My husband came home and informed me that we were going to dinner at a new friend’s home in Ashland, OR. I was a slightly apprehensive, not knowing this family, and also a little intimidated, knowing that the husband was an accomplished artist!

Our conversation was … different. It was real. I thought to myself, these people are not trying to impress! They truly care about us, about our family and our lives! Even though their home seemed to be out of order, they understood that hospitality is a matter of the heart!

The paths we have traveled down open up doors for us to learn how to sympathize or empathize. Our questions—and our guests’ answers– lead us to a more accurate view of our guest’s interests and concerns.

What a lesson for my husband and me, way back as a young couple!

We since have learned to be great conversationalists in our family. And with that – our table has become a safe place for many people.

Do your guests find your table to be a safe and nurturing place?

(My sister and I met up with cousins in St. Louis this past weekend, for a family wedding. We had no problem creating meaningful conversation – I think we all learned well from our parents how to be great conversationalists! We were blessed with amazing family and a wonderful time – what a GIFT!)