Last night I was inspired to write a letter.

It was after I read an older book on my shelf, written back in 1971, The Hidden Art of Homemaking.

Yes, the book’s outdated a bit, but Mrs. Schaeffer’s love for “art” and the art found in the ordinary areas of everyday life, is inspiring. Edith Schaeffer’s writings have had a positive influence on Christian women, as she writes about how we all have hidden talents, unfulfilled talents, just waiting to be expressed and developed.

Which made me think of words … speaking and writing them.

I always had a love for words and writing, but I didn’t feel very skilled with them. When I discovered blogging, I learned to be creative with my words regarding hospitality.

I do love to share my heart with others when it comes to the subject of hospitality. I want to help others. Which, by the way, I always wonder if my mom really knew that my name means “Helper.”

One of the ways that we can help or encourage others in life is by the words that we choose to use. And we never know what our last words will be, either.

The other day I found the last letter that my mother wrote to me. I keep it in a safe place and read it often. My mom was an avid letter-writer, card-sender. That was her way of encouraging others.

Dear Little Coughlin Family,

I am getting homesick for all of you. Good thing I have pictures or does this make it worse?

She went to tell us what she and my dad were doing, how much things cost, the friends they were seeing, the places they were traveling to …

We miss all of you. Not sure when we will head home … Love, Mom and Dad

Today things are so different. We text, call, send pictures through email but we do little letter writing.

I’m thankful for the gift of my mom’s last letter. I love seeing her handwriting; it reminds me of when I was young. I love that she was homesick for our family. I love feeling her heart …

Writing is an art that I hate to say is diminishing quickly, especially writing letters. And paper notes can also reflect a hospitable spirit …

Do you think writing letters or cards is important, and when is the last time you practiced the art?

For every family there are nights when the kids have after-school activities, or you have a late meeting, for us many soccer games, only to get home late, with an empty fridge, and hungry stomachs that are screaming for food.

Are you prepared or do you eat out?

With some easy planning, and very little cooking times, thank goodness we don’t have to run to a restaurant to eat out every night. Can you imagine the food bill for the month? I don’t know how families do it. And for us, in this stage of life, we save most the eating out for “date nights” for my husband and me. The kids do well making their own dinners anyway, and they like to be creative in the kitchen.

It’s true, as the times we’ve asked our kids to come, they say they’d rather make a nutritious meal at home! I never thought I’d hear those words, so I guess our hard work of “controlling” what goes into each dish, and our teens listening, has paid off.

How to Avoid Eating Out:

1. In the morning, or even the prior weekend, think ahead to what dinner will be and either use the slow cooker, or take meat (or food items) out of the freezer.

2. Prep in advance. Choose a day where you can cook extra foods, or get meals ready for the week.

3. Make extra when you cook; try to get 2-3 meals out of one larger recipe. IE, cook two whole chickens, eat one for dinner, use the other and leftovers for chicken soup with pasta and enchiladas (adding rice and beans).

4. Take advantage of your freezer. Learn which foods freeze well and which don’t.

5. Always keep your pantry stocked. Keep a list in the pantry of food items/dishes to cook using pantry items. Show your kids!

When you save money, and you eat healthy (knowing what you’re putting in), it feels good to be good stewards of our finances and bodies, doesn’t it?

And now that my kids are all teens, one almost 20, I can give myself a little pat on the shoulder (good Mom!) knowing I’ve taught my kids well.

Not perfectly, but well.

What’s your struggle with eating out, or are you disciplined when it comes to home-cooked meals?

One of my family’s traditions during the winter months is for my sisters and me to prepare a birthday dinner for our Dad.

This year he turned 75, which made the dinner party very special.

My family looks forward to this evening, year after year, not just because it’s “Grandpa’s birthday,” but because they know we’ll be eating one of our favorite German dishes, Fleischkuechle.

-We set the date.
-Plan the exact same menu every year.
-We delegate the dishes.
-This year it was “adults only.”
-Set the table for 17!

And then we enjoy our time together.

This recipe (meat mixture of beef and sausage wrapped in dough; boiled; served with bread crumbs and pickled beets) originated on my Mom’s side of the family, and has been a tradition in our family for almost 50 years (my age, probably longer!) I really need to research how far back this recipe goes. I’ve never posted the recipe because, to be honest with you, what makes it unique and “tasty” is cooking it together with my sisters.

I wouldn’t want it any other way. (That’s us about 5 years with our daughters.)

Or want to eat it any other way.

It’s a favorite meal that comes around once a year.

Cooking favorite foods together is an important aspect of creating family memories, wouldn’t you agree?

We transform the house with good smells, lots of steamy windows (we boil the Fleischkuechle in 2 large pots), and we sing along to Pandora (3 girls, 3-part-harmony).

Each family has their own traditions for celebrating what’s unique to them. Our family loves Flashkeglia, which is practically gone as soon as we set the bowls on the table. We actually joke around and “count” how many we’ve eaten. In a sense we make it a game, and we always hold a few back for breakfast the next morning.

What “food” family tradition does your family celebrate?

This was the special gift we bought our Dad this year. My Dad and Mom (and Ginny) are 3 gifts in life who have taught me a lot about hospitality. I have one hanging on the wall in my dining room. And you can, too, by checking out RED LETTER WORDS website.

“If thou desire the love of God and man, be humble, for the proud heart, as it loves none but itself, is beloved of none but itself. Humility enforces where neither virtue, nor strength, nor reason can prevail.” -Francis Quarles

A few years passed without seeing a particular family, and it took almost a year to get a date on the calendar where all of our kids would be home and together. Over Christmas break our two families came together for what someone peeking in would say was a rather “lively” or “energetic” meal.

The other night, my husband and I were reminiscing about our time together over the holidays, how impressed we were with all the teenagers sitting around our dinner table, so polite, so full of zest, with a zeal for life–and actually, very humble about their many accomplishments. A few came back from college, a couple still in high school, we didn’t have to tell them ahead of time how to behave, to put their cell phones away, to interact with other people, to engage in the conversation, or how to be a part of the evening. All of the kids knew what to do, were free to voice their opinions, and participated in the evening in many ways.

We shared college stories, literature, spiritual matters. Pandora was playing, kids were singing, the piano and violin played late into the evening … we spent hours together on a Saturday night. Later we knew this evening would be a memory our family would never forget. Taking it a step further, maybe even a spiritual moment. I know it was for me; maybe for all.

We barely got started with the dinner–I think we were on the salad course–when already there were so many common interests that a person could not finish two sentences without someone else chiming in.

This is where the spoon came in.

We resorted to passing a spoon, which meant the person holding the spoon could speak. In some cultures, you may have heard of “passing the stick” in the same regard.

Passing the Spoon: The person whose hand is holding the spoon gets to hold court–to speak, without being interrupted. Everyone else listens, holds their comments or ideas, and waits. It’s a way to bring order to conversation, which we needed. What we gained was, by focusing on one person at a time, the “spoon” allowed even the quieter person to get in on the conversation.

Paul and I counted the years of parenting for both families put together–almost 40 years.

Forty years of parenting … that is a lot of hard work, perseverance, prayer, teaching–put into our kids.

Forty years, well-worth the energy of every minute spent guiding and directing, loving and disciplining …

Have you ever used the “spoon” approach to conversation around your dinner table?

Our friends have come to the end of their second week of vacation in Chile, taking their 3 little kids and staying with missionary friends and experiencing life with the Chileans. I asked Steph if I could highlight some of their adventures, especially when it comes to food.

Enjoying ONCE: One of my favorite things is that the Chileans eat their larger meal in the afternoon, around 1 or 2 pm. They then have siesta (rest time), and everything opens back up for business around 3 or 4. In the evening, they have what they call ONCE, a light meal of tomatoes, avacados, bread, eggs, carrots. Often times people get together for ONCE, and it just seems so simple, so easy. I am totally doing it when we get back to the States. What is absolutely proven to me is that you do not need to make an elaborate meal–just put out some food items on the table and enjoy the people you are with.

Farmer’s MARKET (Feria): We’ve made it every Tuesday and Friday to the farmer’s market (or Feria). We walk there with empty bags and hoof it home with full bags. It is amazing to have all the fruits and vegetables that you are used to seeing in the summer. The strawberries are just coming to an end, but so good. The first time we went, we took the kids and ate our way through the market. At the end, the kids were covered in strawberries. It’s so fun to interact with the local farmers. One very key ingredient to their cooking is squash; they grow the biggest squash! You decide how big of a hunk of squash you want, and then they get out their knife and start sawing off a piece. It is delicioso.

A new TABLE: The kitchen at the house where we are staying is tiny, with no counter space. My husband and friends spent one day to build a bench. The hardest part was finding a store that would sell them the wood they needed, and stay open long enough to make the boards. They were at one store, ready to buy the wood, but then it closed for siesta. So they had to come back the next day. It is crazy to have the money ready to buy, and then, “Oh you’ll have to come back”. A little taste of Chilean life.

Cerdo Boca: One night at dinner (or Once) our son was telling a story and talking with his mouth full. I told him in Spanish to close his mouth. I said, “Cerdo Boca.” One of our new friends laughed because what I just said was “Pig Mouth.” What I should have said was “Cerrado Boca.” Oh so close! Our oldest daughter brings this up almost every day, she thinks it is so funny.

Our friends dreamed and saved for years to take their family to another country, for their family to experience a different way of living.

For some, even a “better” way of living.

All three of our children have been to Mexico on mission trips to build houses, but not our family of 5 experiencing it together. One day …

Have you ever taken your family to experience life in another country? And how does a lighter meal around 3-4 sound to you?

What do you do when your table only holds 8 comfortably, and you’re hosting a large Christmas dinner?

For our family, this was our last meal to entertain for the holidays this past weekend, and my sisters and their families were coming.

I wanted all 15 of us to all sit down so we could enjoy our time together.

For large groups like this, I have several sets of tablecloths, extra tables in the garage, and I borrowed a few chairs from a friend.

Wah-Lah … a long table eating area has been created.

Every year we rotate houses for our “sister dinner.” It’s special because ever since our Mother passed away, we told each other we’d still give small gifts to each other.

Our Mom loved to give gifts, and she always picked out just the right thing.

So our giving, in a sense, was a reminder of our Mom.

I also planned out the meal and delegated many of the dishes. And we did it a little differently this year.

-We seated everyone and served the salad.
-For the main course we served the prime rib and all the side dishes buffet-style.
-Dessert came way later as we all mingled in the kitchen.

In Christmas tradition, we always take a picture of the women in the family.

And the sisters.

I’m thankful for sisters, for delegation so I don’t have to cook an entire meal for so many people, for love and gifts at Christmas, and for yummy desserts.

Speaking of desserts …

Don’t you find that sometimes it’s hard to serve dessert right after a big meal?

We decided to wait about an hour before cutting into my sister’s heavenly cake (well, it does have Angel Cake as an ingredient) that she brought. (It’s a good one because it serves at least 12.)

You’ll see how light and simple the recipe is, and elegant, too. Raspberries on the inside and just a few for color on the serving platter. Beautiful!

What’s your tradition for serving dessert after a large meal? Do you serve it right away or wait to serve it later?

Passion for the art of the brew is rare. For many, brewing has become automatic or drive-thru. At Storyville, they help you find a coffee ritual that creates space, that invites you to think, to create, to dream …

Here’s our story …

My husband and I go camping in our VW Westfalia at Union Creek any chance we get. We actually take advantage of the beauty in the Pacific Northwest quite often during spring, summer, and fall, as our favorite campsite is only 45 minutes away. It’s an inexpensive 24-hour getaway for us, and one that we try to encourage others to do as well. It’s sad that the season has come to an end for us.

Of course it’s easier to pick up and go with our VW camper van, but if you get your stuff organized and ready for “last-minute,” you’ll be amazed at how refreshing a one-night getaway can be.

Paul and I love to sleep in, start a roaring fire, and then it’s time for our morning treat.

Coffee.

Even in the winter months if we get away for one night, without the campfire, we still love our coffee together.

Warm connections come from “just sitting,” fresh espresso, talking and dreaming with the one you love.

How do you enjoy coffee in the mornings?

The quality of Storyville coffee starts here:
It’s incredibly fresh
It holds its structure well when ground
It doesn’t fall apart
It’s sweet and savory
It has a great floral-ness and a slightly nutty flavor
You don’t have to shop for it
You can sign up for weekly delivery to your home

We learned about this unique coffee by attending an International Justice Mission in-home concert a few years back. I hope you will take the time to read more about the IJM mission, here.

(This is not a paid advertisement, I’m only sharing my views about something we love.)

It was a much needed and longed for night.

Our friends invited us over for what I call an “early Thanksgiving Dinner,” because any time we experience gratitude in our hearts, isn’t it Thanksgiving?

Fresh green salad, tender roast beef, flavorful potatoes and perfect carrots and sweet onions, sweet and spicy corn hash, homemade rolls and real butter.

Nothing is better than homemade.

Warm connections are built around the opportunity to reconnect with and encourage close knit friends. Many times it starts with food.

Close knit … being real and authentic, feeling free to break into song, sharing our deepest hearts, concentrating on the richness that comes out of quiet and gratitude.

It’s hard to explain what happened after we ate dinner.

We lit a fire. Flames joining us together in a profound way.

We snuggled. Some didn’t know each other well, but we walked away as “family.”

She placed her hand on my shoulder. I felt loved and accepted.

The guitar was handed to him. The outside area felt warmer, the people became quieter, the fire became our secret escape for focusing on God.

They sang to us, a song of healing and love. How beautiful, to break into a song of praise.

He asked about our lives and ministries. We feel small, but when embraced and encouraged, we’re challenged to give and our perspective changes.

She told her story. Every time she speaks, love and grace and mercy flow from her lips.

We sang together. Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

We talked about spiritual matters. The words from our lips became sources of great affirmation and hope.

The pie was served, a perfect crust. Tart apples, a tiny bit of ice cream, and bold coffee. Cutting edge, sweet, courageous.

They had to leave early. Home to a special needs son.

Food is the conduit to what comes next.

What comes next is up to us, in how we want to spend our time on earth, with our time and talents, our attitudes and perspectives, and how we love.

When’s the last time you experienced a dinner that impacted you or your family?

Get caught up, Days 1-25 of 31 Days of Warm Connections, HERE.

Winners of last 2 giveaways are: Bev from Bev Cooks won the Bush’s Beans giveaway, Kirstin from Loving Life, Jan from Jan Udlock, and Kim from Art of Domestic Living won Melissa Michael’s new eBook. Congrats, Ladies!

“Things in life are always changing and shifting. In order to grow, we must change also, and our commitments must change to match the changes happening in our lives.”-Joyce Meyer

It was hard hitting “send,” but I knew I needed to do it.

I emailed Sarah Mae to let her know my heart was torn in coming to Relevant this weekend. My decision didn’t have anything to do with anyone else or the conference itself, I just knew where I needed to be … my heart was calling me “to be home.”

Sarah’s reply was so gracious, kind, and understanding: I think you are a wise woman and you will never regret maintaining integrity with your family.

And then I emailed my friends, Ann, Tsh, and Melissa. I needed to know that I was doing the right thing.

All confirmed responses, but it was still hard.

Too many distractions, too much noise, it was time for me to stay home after a busy month of travels (all beautiful, incredible experiences).

I’m a mom of 3 teens, and although I’d say we have very self-sufficient kids (yes, they do their own laundry and cook)–one in college, one a senior heading to college, the third a freshman in high school–I’m still the driver, the banker, the scheduler, soccer games to attend, violin lessons, deadlines and house duties to manage.

I believe in “you will simplify when you prioritize.”

When I originally said “yes” to coming to Relevant to be a speaker, close to a year ago, I didn’t realize how busy this season would be. I’m also blessed to volunteer my time for my husband’s work, which God is doing an amazing work in right now.

Life is full and good, and I am blessed. But I don’t like to be hurried, I want to put my heart into my commitments, and I don’t want to feel anxious.

“Anxious people are always trying to live ahead of where they currently are.” –Joyce Meyer

“The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is, on the contrary, born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else–we are the busiest people in the world.” –Eric Hoffer

Warm connections come when we follow our hearts and listen to the still small voice, when we know ourselves well and don’t go outside of what God enables us to do.

I’ll be home for my 2 kids’ varsity soccer games (and my husband’s – he’s the boys’ coach), my daughter’s first homecoming dance, and other meaningful family “things” that will occupy my time and keep me busy, I’m sure.

For the women (sisters, many who I’ve met, many who I was so looking forward to meeting) at Relevant this weekend, know that my heart is also with you, as you’ll be encouraged, challenged, and inspired. I can’t wait to hear all about it.

Have you ever given up important activities for “home?”

Get caught up, Days 1-25 of 31 Days of Warm Connections, HERE.

So much awaits for us when we unplug or just listen to the everyday sounds.

Today’s my baby’s 15th birthday! Yesterday my friends and I took a group of girls up to a beautiful place in the mountains for a night of celebration. (Happy Birthday, Abby!)

And we unplugged.

The sound of a house full of girls was wonderful.

We talked about Abby’s birth.

We even reminisced about their sizes at birth.

Ate good food.

Birthday dessert.

In the morning we opened the windows.

And we listened.

Warm connections come when we’re with people we love and we stop and listen.

Ways to feel what’s around you:
- Stop and listen to music around you, in the store, on the street, even in the car.
- Take time to listen to the morning or nighttime sounds.
- Listen to the sounds in a park or playground.
- Shut your eyes and listen to the sounds in a restaurant.

Warm connections come when we share the beauty, take it to heart, and drink in the everyday sounds.

When’s the last time you quieted yourself to stop and listen?

If you missed previous days to 31 Days of Warm Connections …
Day 1: Secret Ingredient to Warmer Connections
Day 2: Bringing the Beauty of Autumn to Your Table
Day 3: Multi-Generational Pear Applesauce
Day 4: Canning Suncrest Peaches with a Friend
Day 5: How to Find Contentment
Day 6: Encouragement with Easy Pear Cobbler
Day 7: Bush’s Garbanzos, Chicken, and Quinoa Soup for a Sports Family
Day 8: More About Others
Day 9: Technology Versus People
Day 10: The Table Experience with Bush’s Beans
Day 11: Dreaming of Autumn Guests
Day 12: Gathering Around a Homemade Life
Day 13: Sisters in New York City
Day 14: Giving to Those in Need

Warm connections happen when you share special times with your loved ones.

Earlier this month I won a trip to the Food Network Wine and Food Festival in New York City. The trip came from The Pork Board, when I went on this delicious outing with great blogging friends, earlier this Spring. I was actually invited along with my friend, Marla, from Family Fresh Cooking.

How did I win this fantastic trip?

I posted this information on my blog back in June. (You may remember that the standard temp for pork used to be 165.)

This week, the USDA confirmed that 145 degrees F as measured on a food thermometer, followed by a three-minute rest time, is safe internal temperature for pork chops, roasts and tenderloins.

My name went into a drawing and … I WON! I have never won a trip anywhere, so I was very excited to share it with my two sisters who came along with me to NYC.

Three sisters in NYC, and a beautiful birthday celebration for the middle sis who just turned 50.

Three sisters on a trip together, who’ve never traveled anywhere together, just us 3 girls. We wished our mom could have been with us, and we joked about if she could have kept up! We’re all fast walkers.

We laughed, we cried from laughing, we walked and ate and did lots of sight-seeing … oh, and did I mention we laughed?

We also sang, many times the song, Sisters, sisters, There were never such devoted sisters … Caring, sharing, Every little thing that we are wearing … You know the song!

We sang 3-part harmony together at my favorite pastor/author’s church, My Redeemer. The service was beautiful, with classical music and a spirit of love, encouragement, courage, and hope from Tim Keller.

The Central Park area on a beautiful sunny day.

Remembering 9/11.

Tower #4 with the other new towers in the reflection being built. Isn’t this an incredible picture?

Lots of walking.

And taxi rides and subway.

Enjoying Broadway, with Phantom and Lion King.

One rainy day. The rest sunny.

Can you tell who’s the blogger?

A beautiful ride on the Staten Island Ferry.

So what exactly is a Wine and Food Festival? It’s an event where you can sample delectable culinary creations, sip sumptuous spirits, and learn the latest cooking trends and techniques. It’s really cool and the Chelsea Market area was about the same size as the city I live in (kidding).

The highlight of the “Festival,” for me, was seeing Alton Brown and his live presentation. We’ve watched Alton for years with our kids, and love his humor and science-related insights regarding the foods we enjoy.

The Grand Tasting was amazing. It went on forever at Chelsea Market. We ate small bites like this.

Loved the culinary demonstrations by KitchenAid.

See the man in the pink shirt? That’s Justin Newby.

I was honored to meet him, a marketing person on behalf of KitchenAid, but also the creative mind behind “Cook for the Cure” benefiting Susan G Komen for the Cure initiatives which started 10 years ago.

I know you’ve seen the Raspberry Ice stand mixer model which came out earlier this year, which benefits Cook for the Cure. The Raspberry Ice stand mixer is the model commemorating the 10th anniversary.

We stayed at the beautiful Eventi hotel, and Sunday, right outside our hotel room in the outdoor plaza, was one of the Festival’s most anticipated events, Carts in the Parc (hosted by the New York Times.) The blue-grass music was fantastic!

With the hotel’s vibrant energy and striking city views, with most everything “touristy” that we wanted to see within walking distance, we felt the love from the Festival and how it gave back (100% of the proceeds) to the Food Bank of New York City and Share our Strength (No Kid Hungry).

Eat. Drink. End Hunger.

Thanking The Pork Board again for this trip, I’d say warm connections come when you do something without expecting anything in return. I had no idea I’d win. And I was blessed. But more blessed that I was able to spend time with my sisters. (Last night, last dinner.)

We did all the touristy stuff, but I must say my favorite memory was just being together.

Bye-bye New York City! I’m already dreaming about where my sis’s and I will go next …

Have you been to NYC and what did you love about it?

If you missed previous days to 31 Days of Warm Connections …
Day 1 (and 700 31 Day Bloggers): Secret Ingredient to Warmer Connections
Day 2: Bringing the Beauty of Autumn to Your Table
Day 3: Multi-Generational Pear Applesauce
Day 4: Canning Suncrest Peaches with a Friend
Day 5: How to Find Contentment
Day 6: Encouragement with Easy Pear Cobbler
Day 7: Bush’s Garbanzos, Chicken, and Quinoa Soup for a Sports Family
Day 8: More About Others
Day 9: Technology Versus People
Day 10: The Table Experience with Bush’s Beans
Day 11: Dreaming of Autumn Guests
Day 12: Gathering Around a Homemade Life

 

 

(I won this trip from The Pork Board. They did not pay me to write this post today.)

Molly Wizenberg was one of the first food bloggers I read back in 2006 when I started RE. Her blog, Orangette, in a way is iconic to me.

Molly said this best, in her book, A Homemade Life:

“When I walk into my kitchen today, I am not alone. Whether we know it or not, none of us is. We bring fathers and mothers and kitchen tables, and every meal we have ever eaten. Food is never just food. It’s also a way of getting at something else: who we are, who we have been and who we want to be.”

I often bring my mother into my cooking. How could I not? She taught me so much of what I know today. When she passed away, another beautiful woman came into my life, my dad’s wife, Ginny. (Dad, Ginny, my sister and me.)

Ginny does homemade just as good as mom did.

She brings the family together, binds and joins us together with homemade goodness every time we’re in their home. (View of the Table Rocks from their front room, in the beautiful Rogue Valley.)

Serving a family-style meal just says comfort.

Comfort comes from being who we are.

Being who we are comes from feeling free with the people around us.

The people around us bring warm connections.

And warm connections bring more feelings of love.

Molly Wizenberg has it right: Food is never just food. It’s also a way of getting at something else: who we are, who we have been and who we want to be.

When’s the last time you served a family-style meal around your table?

If you missed previous days to 31 Days of Warm Connections …
Day 1 (and 700 31 Day Bloggers): Secret Ingredient to Warmer Connections
Day 2: Bringing the Beauty of Autumn to Your Table
Day 3: Multi-Generational Pear Applesauce
Day 4: Canning Suncrest Peaches with a Friend
Day 5: How to Find Contentment
Day 6: Encouragement with Easy Pear Cobbler
Day 7: Bush’s Garbanzos, Chicken, and Quinoa Soup for a Sports Family
Day 8: More About Others
Day 9: Technology Versus People
Day 10: The Table Experience with Bush’s Beans
Day 11: Dreaming of Autumn Guests

I knew I wanted to start practicing Eucharisteo (grace, thanksgiving, joy) … by giving thanks in a journal on a daily basis. My inspiration came from Ann, and my heart’s been telling me to jump in and do it. So into the garage I went, searching for a “journal.” I knew I had journals, many with blank pages near the back.

I grabbed one that was 12 years old and dusted it off. The spiral binding was still in place – it felt good to the touch. As I thumbed through what I had written I went to the last page.

“Autumn guests” was listed with about 50 people, some couples, some single friends — grouped together by dinner parties.

I knew that I liked to dream about dinner parties way back then. I liked to put the parties together in my head, and then on paper, and then I’d pray …

Many of these people aren’t in our lives anymore. It’s not that they aren’t friends, it’s just that life takes us through seasons. And particularly for those of you who have kids, you’ll know what I mean. I’ve also noticed that after attending several churches, friendships come and go. And sadly, some marriages just don’t make it.

But most of the people I had written in my journal we are still close with. Since we’ve been married for 20 years, some are 20+ year-friendships. Tight and solid.

One thing I’ve learned is that we have to meet life where it’s at.

I go back and forth about wanting to explore “relationships” further here at RE, because I know they can be tough for many. So if you have a particular question, feel free to ask it here, or send me a personal email.

Warmer connections come when we think of the people around us, their marriages, families, seasons of life … and we give thanks.

Don’t you find that throughout life you’ve mingled more with parents of your children’s friends? That as they grow and change, our friendships do the same?

If you missed previous days to 31 Days of Warm Connections …
Day 1 (and 700 31 Day Bloggers): Secret Ingredient to Warmer Connections
Day 2: Bringing the Beauty of Autumn to Your Table
Day 3: Multi-Generational Pear Applesauce
Day 4: Canning Suncrest Peaches with a Friend
Day 5: How to Find Contentment
Day 6: Encouragement with Easy Pear Cobbler
Day 7: Bush’s Garbanzos, Chicken, and Quinoa Soup for a Sports Family
Day 8: More About Others
Day 9: Technology Versus People
Day 10: The Table Experience with Bush’s Beans

In my home, pantry cupboards are lined with Bush’s Beans, primarily kidney, black, pinto and white cannellini beans.

I keep one row of chick peas (delicious humus), and today I’m sharing a savory recipe that I recently recreated for my “starving” family.

Most canning has been done, preserves put up, root vegetables gone into the cool storage area (potatoes and sweet potatoes), and recent tomatoes pulled from the ground.

We had a bumper crop of Roma tomatoes this season and after harvesting them, my sons did the work for me. They blanched the tomatoes and we prepared for freezing and cooking. (One of the many bowls of blanched tomatoes.)

There’s nothing like fresh tomatoes in a big pot of soup.

October is the month to plan ahead, to cook more, to prepare hot meals for my family, to show love to my family in nourishment around the table.

But let me back up here …

It’s 6:15 PM.

The cars pull up in the driveway. A hungry family steps into the entry-way dropping soccer bags, wet and soggy from the rain, stripping off the soccer gear, and proclaiming, “I’m starving!”

Yes, proclaiming.

Throughout their childhoods, my 3 children have played sports. Most of you know I have 3 teenagers, one in college, two high-schoolers, and my husband is a varsity high school soccer coach. I came from a generation of girls not encouraged to be athletes, so having 4 soccer players in the family has been an adjustment for me, to say the least. It’s been a fun journey, though, and I’ve really learned to love the sport.

And when hungry soccer players come through the door, I had better be prepared.

This night I knew my pantry was lined with Bush’s Beans, and I knew I had a rotisserie chicken. Adding these ingredients together with other fresh vegetables created a hearty soup to serve for dinner, along with whole wheat bread.

As they walk through the door proclaiming they are hungry, I set a meal of comfort and sustenance on the table before them.

Being prepared with a hot meal on the table is an essential gift that I can give to my family.

Warmer connections come when we set the tone with good nourishment and positive talk.

Do you think good nourishment for your family is essential, and if you have a sports family, how do you get everyone around the table for dinner?

If you missed the previous days to 31 Day to Warm Connections …
Day 1 (and 700 31 Day Bloggers): Secret Ingredient to Warmer Connections
Day 2: Bringing the Beauty of Autumn to Your Table
Day 3: Multi-Generational Pear Applesauce
Day 4: Canning Suncrest Peaches with a Friend
Day 5: How to Find Contentment
Day 6: Encouragement with Easy Pear Cobbler

Taking a meal to another family is easier than we think. Even for working women, it’s easy to help another family out when there is a death, crisis, new baby, or surgery – or whatever the need may be.

If you have the mindset of cooking double, your family’s evening meal can be made at the same time!

But when you are in a hurry, there are quick and healthy options at the grocery store. This past week when my friend had surgery, Costco saved me! My favorite is to take ingredients to make a big chicken salad, along with bread to bake in the oven.

Always leave a note with instructions, in case the kids or whoever is helping with meals in the home:

1. How to bake the bread (temp and time)

2. How to make the salad

3. How to cook the corn

4. And then how to ENJOY the brownies

When’s the last time you took a meal to a family in need, and what did you take?

I love how food begins conversations and creates energy. The buzz that happens around food can be so exciting, and people just seem happier!

That’s exactly what happened this past weekend as I hosted my sisters for a lovely summer evening meal. We had a really fun time!

Get-togethers take the “formal” out of a dinner-party, because they are casual and everyone pitches in and there is a more relaxed feeling.

We brought dinner out near the garden where we had the table set to enjoy our time together–sisters and spouse–and the kids were on their own.

The best part of the meal (besides the delicious steak my husband barbecued) was that my sisters brought me a blueberry and a chocolate birthday pie.

There’s a sense of shared experience–whether a birthday, a celebration, or just getting together for fun–of discovery and excitement when we come together.

It does seem easier sometimes when you entertaining family. Or maybe it’s just that my sisters and I work really well together in the kitchen.

Either way, there’s way less stress and anxiety for the hosts when everyone pitches in.

Do you find it easier to entertain family?

My best birthday gift today was winning a trip to NYC to the Food Network Wine and Food Festival through The Pork Board, and my sisters get to come with me. Happy Dance! I really hope I get to meet Alton Brown. He’s been my favorite for years.

Motherhood is one of the greatest things in life.

It is an honor.

It is a high calling.

It is a joy.

I would have life no other way!

I’m grateful for a Mom who loved me so much, and now that she’s gone, many women have stepped in to that role of “Mom” for me. Those women — who are always there for me — are Ginny (my Dad’s wife), Jeannie, Faye, and Dee. Wonderful, beautiful women who I’m grateful to God for.

I want to share this cute, inspiring story with you today, and I also want to thank many who shared on this post, what your ideal Mother’s Day would be like. Thank you for sharing your hearts! Many of your comments brought back memories of when my kids were little (very top photo). The things we long for when our kids are babies definitely change over time. I remember wanting a “break,” for things to be “clean,” to get a good night’s sleep, for my kids to be angels (ha!), with no bickering.

Those things seem so simplistic to me now.

I find myself longing for more love, affection, for my kids to continue to grow in God, to “make it” in this world as they are finishing school and entering college. It’s much more complicated, but it’s all so good. I feel very blessed with my family.

This story was floating around email-land a few years back, and I saved it for a long time.

Burned Biscuits
When I was a kid, my mom likde to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.

I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said: “Honey, I love burned biscuits.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides… a burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!”

You know, life is full of imperfect things…. and imperfect people. I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

So…please pass me a biscuit. And yes, the burned one will do just fine!

Oh, and I have to include a picture of me and my sisters whom I love very much. With our Mom gone, it’s good that we have each other.

What will you be doing for Mother’s Day on Sunday?

Happy Mother’s Day to all my friends and family!

While organizing my tablecloths, I came across the beautiful white one that I inherited from my Mom. Of course it brought back many “good” memories, as I ran my fingers down the silky parts of the fabric, memories of Mom’s beautiful (but not perfect) table setting on a Sunday morning.

My mom almost always had guests over on Sunday for a big meal after church, and the table would always be set ahead of time.

With Mother’s Day coming up, I think about my Mom a lot. How organized she was, as she’d put the roast in the oven. She’d make her salads and peel the potatoes in the morning before going to church, and would have made the dessert the day before.

What an absolutely beautiful, knock-dead, gorgeous hostess she was, as she’d meet her guests at the door, apron tied around her waste, with Dad by her side.

Welcome … (she’d say.)

And then came the hug.

After mom passed away, Dad let us girls rummage though the hall closet where she hung the tablecloths, to find one to keep.

I chose the white one.

Even thought it’s too small for my table now, I will save it for my daughter, Abby. I’ll pass it down to her for what might be her first “table setting” in her first home or apartment.

It was special for me, and it will be special for her.
Which reminds me of this story (and photo) from when Abby had to make an elegant Toga for a school presentation.

Guess which tablecloth she used?

Yes, her Grandma’s beautiful white one!

Do you have an heirloom tablecloth that is special to you, or a story about one that brings a smile to your face?

That’s right, yesterday we indulged in the Perfect Prime Rib for our family dinner, and tonight, and the next night, and probably the next night, … we’ll be eating leftovers.

I really enjoyed planning our Sunday meal, setting a pretty table (using what I had, I bought nothing new this year!) and gathering with family.

Some years we choose to invite friends, and some years, it’s family. It’s nice to mix it up!

(Grandpa with his granddaughters)

(My sister and me with our daughters)

It’s good to spread the family love with friends and relatives. It’s good for our kids to see us reaching out to our immediate family, and also fellowshipping with our friends on holidays.

I will say that even with a buffet-style meal, and delegating some of the dishes, it’s still exhausting to entertain.

But so very rewarding, because much of life is about relationships.

As my teen son was heading back to college yesterday, a few hours away, he was asking me about my mom and dad, and all they taught my sisters and me about hospitality.

Yup, I told Elliot, I learned a lot from my parents.

And I know my kids are learning from us.

Hospitality is considered a gift, yes, but … let’s say we don’t have the gift (so to speak).

Does that mean that we’re off the hook, never having to show hospitality? No!

Back to the Perfect Prime Rib … it was really delicious, with a crunchy, spicy, peppery crust surrounding the roast. And I served it with Harry and David’s Onion Blossom Horseradish Dip – oh yum.

But, what I really love about cooking a big “feast,” is the leftovers that we get to enjoy the rest of the week.

So, tonight and the next night, and maybe the next, we’ll be eating leftovers in some creative way.

Do you have plans for using Sunday dinner leftovers this week?

(The Perfect Prime Rib recipe is in my book with a formula that makes a perfect prime rib, if you’re reluctant to cook this cut of meat. It’s delicious and very easy. Also, Harry and David did not pay me to write this post today.)

Just coming off of Spring Break, and having our son home from college, we had a quality time of “Face-Time” as a family. We went on a little get-a-way to the high desert, where we ate good food (always!) and watched movies and the guys fly-fished. We relaxed and sat together and we even played our beloved family (obnoxious, yet fun) game of “Pit.”

My friend, Adelle, who has small children, recently wrote about her experience of getting enough family “face-time” …

We set aside the rest of the day. We planned to make dinner together as a family (tacos). We shopped for what we needed. We delegated jobs that the boys could do themselves (opening and heating a can of chili beans, setting the table, filling the drinks). And we sat together, made our tacos together, and we enjoyed some real face time. It wasn’t perfect. Taco filling was all over the dining room floor. There was still a lot of bickering over who got to do what.

But we were together, and we made a point to be together. That’s what was important. – Adelle, Ready … Go … Get Set blog

I’m thankful with teens now, that the bickering doesn’t take place. All those years of parenting and having to “work hard” to combat the sibling rivalry has paid off. The kids are growing up and it shows in the way they treat each other and … love each other.

But it still takes effort and work to get that family face-time in.

Do ever get that feeling in your gut that you “need” your family together?

What’s your favorite game to play as a family?