The salad didn’t turn out like I had wanted it to. At the last minute, I boiled the eggs for the delicious Spinach Salad I had planned on serving, and I did serve it, but as I started eating, I realized I had made a mistake.

Spinach salad needs to be made with cold, hard-boiled eggs, not warm ones.

The salad looked beautiful, but it just wasn’t right. It was mushy and the spinach leaves were wilting before my very eyes. (By the way, The Pioneer Woman even says it’s true: Cold eggs are the best. Check out her amazing recipe for The Best Spinach Salad.)

But … no one complained.

There was plenty of other good food on the plate — fresh barbecued salmon, roasted peppers, hot bread from the oven, melt-in-your-mouth sweet potatoes.

There is one thing I’ve learned about hostessing.

You don’t say a word, you don’t apologize. You don’t draw attention to what you think is wrong, which others may not even notice.

-Let it go.

-Don’t be hard on yourself.

-Give yourself a break.

I often give myself this pep talk when something doesn’t turn out the way I want.

I’ve learned that by acknowledging my errors (keeping them to myself), I’ve become a more merciful person when I go to someone else’s house for dinner. Less of a perfectionist. If there is something that isn’t quite right, I understand. Not a word is said, but I understand.

I have compassion, especially for a new hostess.

What’s your attitude when it comes to messing up in the kitchen? Do you let it go and press on?

The other day at breakfast my husband reminded me of these simple words:

Baby, he said, a good plan for today is better than a perfect plan for tomorrow.

Those words really hit home for me, and I thought about all I share here on RE. I know many of us struggle with perfectionism when it comes to entertaining, but I wonder just when did the “P” word become so trendy?

What generation or era started this horrible (almost) disease, to ruin so many of us?

I wrote in my RE book how I met a lady on the plane who shared with me how she’d never have people into her home for dinner, because she didn’t feel her house was good enough. She got tears in her eyes as she told me she was worried that her son never learned about hospitality. It was a pain point for her, and I felt badly for her. The pain went deeper for her as she shared that her mom had done the same thing.

Things were never good enough.

So they missed out on deeper connections and making memories in their own 4 walls with people they cared about.

I wonder when perfectionism became so necessary …

-Was it in the 50s or 60s when America started watching more TV?

-Was it when we started airbrushing models in homes and staging beautiful kitchens and dining rooms?

-Was it later, when magazines and TV shows resonating “perfect” showed us we were “less” if we didn’t have our homes look a certain way?

(Canning jar idea, here.)

Baby, a plan for today is better than a perfect plan for tomorrow.

I meditated on those words for days, lest I teach my children this awful “trend.”

A plan for today …

-If I decide to invite last minute guests over for dinner, my messy house will just have to do.

-The menu that I decide to cook will be sufficient for the purpose of entertaining. Soul connection.

-I won’t need to run to the store to make “one more thing,” because I have to serve 5 courses.

-My table, simple as it may be, won’t be impressive, but it won’t be distracting, either.

It won’t be trendy.

It won’t be perfect.

But it will be tasty and meaningful.

When do you think perfectionism became “trendy” in our society?

For many people, the heavy responsibilities of home and family and earning a living absorb all their time and strength. Yet such a home–where love is–may be a light shining in a dark place, a silent witness to the reality and the love of God.
- Olive Wyon

My home is not perfect, it’s rarely spotless, and it’s very well lived in.

I believe so many of us fear having others over because of the state of our home.

Today I want to share and highlight some great posts that talk about decluttering. I mean, who doesn’t have this problem? I know I have many irons in the fire with my blog, work, 3 teens, helping my husband with his non-profit.

It’s really hard for me to stay up on the paperwork alone! And to be honest, sometimes it affects my ability to relax …

Melissa shares about starting 5 new daily habits, and also gives us a chance to WIN $500 from The Inspired Room (you have until midnight tonight to enter).

“When my home gets cluttered and out of control, I feel personally out of sorts and out of control. The state of my home really affects my emotional well being and my productivity.” -Melissa

10 Ways to Declutter your House, from Making This Home.

“The less you need, the freer you become.” – Katie

Simple Steps to Declutter your Home from Passionate Homemaking.

“If it can stay in boxes for several months, is it really needed?” – Lindsay

Organizing with Purpose from The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking.

“An uncluttered space creates an environment where we can learn and explore.” -Kelly

This is an interesting perspective. I like it!

Don’t Declutter from My Simpler Life.

“I have been seeing a lot of people sacrifice time to take care of themselves for decluttering time.” – Beth

Beth asks a good question … thought provoking, for sure!

Do you feel you need to complete everything before relaxing? Do you feel clutter makes it impossible to relax in your own home?

Don’t try to be the hostess you are not. You want to be gracious, and entertaining should feel natural. – The Reluctant Entertainer

Probably the most important entertaining tip that I love to offer to others as far as finding an entertaining style that works for you is to not compare! Don’t get so wrapped up in comparing yourself to others that you get bogged down in trying to impress, and miss out on the whole purpose of entertaining in the first place.

Which is …

The relationships with the people coming over.

It’s not about the food or the table setting, or how perfectly everything is put together.

My advice for St. Patrick’s weekend is to keep entertaining simple.

Paper napkins work just fine and add a festive feel.

If you saw this delicious recipe (so easy, 3 ingredients), how about serving it in mugs, if you don’t have the “right”dessert dishes.

Don’t go to the store to buy something new just to impress. Learn to be creative and use what you have.

I keep IKEA napkins stocked in my pantry, different colors for different occasions. Yes, I love cloth napkins, but for easy, festive entertaining (like St. Patrick’s Day) paper works just fine!

Will you be doing any St Patrick’s entertaining this weekend?

When we strive to make hospitality perfect instead of excellent, we isolate ourselves from others. – The RE

I laughed at my own quote from my book the other night, as guests were coming to dinner. I had set the table, placed the ironed napkins on the left side of the dinner plate, and as I was setting down the forks, one lonely napkin stood out.

It was different.

The stripe was actually ironed the opposite way than the rest.

But who would even know?

I moved on to finish setting the table, but later as I walked by, I noticed it again.

Part of the of noticing was to remind myself that things do not have to be perfect.

My goal is to strive toward excellence … to do my very best, make my table pretty, and give my all to my guests when I entertain.

But perfect?

Did you know that kids don’t start out in life being perfectionists? They learn from us!

My daughter and I laughed together as we were mingling by the table. She glanced at the imperfectly ironed napkin and said, Oh, great, Mom. (She was my little ironer!) And that’s when I took the opportunity to say, Baby, it’s so fine. Things don’t have to be perfect all the time!

I know this is a simple observation today, but it’s perfect for the week ahead. How many people will be entertaining and getting flustered over certain things either not turning out or being perfect?

Success is defined when we can laugh, relate, engage, and see beyond ourselves.

Will you keep this motto in mind this next Christmas week?

Too many years I’ve dreamed and come up with an enormous list of things that our family should do over the holidays.

Things like baking, sharing, checking out the neighborhood lights, visiting Santa and the shut-ins, making our own ornaments and stringing popcorn, playing games all day on Christmas Day, hosting parties, attending church services, chopping our tree in the great outdoors, hosting an open house, having the entire family help with Christmas cards (yah, right), you name it …. I wanted to do it.

It’s wonderful to be enthusiastic over the holidays, but now that my kids are teens, and I’ve learned a good, hard lesson about life during December, I want to share a few insights.

-Make a list of your dreams.
-Share it with your family in November (the last day – today!)
-Decide what’s important for your entire family.
-Decide what you want to keep as a tradition.
-Cross off the things that don’t get the “votes.”
-You may need to narrow it down even further.
-Agree that you won’t have hurt feelings.

As a mom, I know that I get very excited over the holidays, but I can also carry my over-exhuberance over to the family. I can put my expectations in their laps, so they inherit my “to do” list when they are wanting “simple.”

I’ve learned that every year I start off with good intentions, but I can get off track.

This year I’m going to create my list, keep my list, and keep checking my list … so that I stay on track.

Do you get swayed into doing too much during the holidays?

How do you rate yourself when it comes to dumping your “to-do” list on the family?

On a scale from 1-5:
1 – you keep your agenda to yourself
5 – you put expectations on your family

I can’t wait to hear your answers. They may even be a little giveaway for the best answer. Be real, friends. And if you have good tips, let’s share them and help each other out.

There’s something about entertaining during the holidays that brings a level of excitement, but also to the disorganized person, a sense of dread. I love to entertain, but I enjoy it most when it comes together quickly and spontaneously.

1. Set the date and invite: Set the date for your party, grab a notebook and pencil and start making your list of who to invite. Don’t waver over the invitation list. Go with your gut on who comes to mind first and get going on the invitations.

MISTAKE: “But so-and-so can’t make it!” During the holidays you won’t be able to accommodate everyone, so once you set the date, move on to the planning stage. You could drive yourself crazy moving the date around to get everyone there.

2. Plan what kind of party you want to have: Think about formal, casual, brunches vs. dinner, buffet-style or open house. There are so many holiday party options, and it’s a crazy time of year, so choose one that fits your time schedule and your family’s needs.

MISTAKE: “I just can’t afford to entertain this way.” People forget the power of “delegation” and how much easier it is to simply ask your guests to bring a dish. It saves on the pocketbook and people are so willing to help out and to “be a part of the party,” whichever type you choose.

3. Be organized and keep your cupboards stocked. Make sure and keep relishes, cheeses, nuts and dried fruit and wines stocked for last-minute drop ins. People love to stop by during holiday seasons, because it’s such a cheery, festive time of year.

MISTAKE: “I never know what to serve for a quick appetizer.” We tend to over-complicate what should be simple. If we get out of our minds elaborate fondues and appetizers that take hours to prepare, and stick with a simple bowl of toasted nuts, a brick of goat cheese sprinkled with pomegranate seeds (festive for the season), along with some yummy crackers – there we have it! Slice a fresh pear (a symbol of the holidays) and you could sit and munch and talk with your friends for hours over the appetizers alone.

4. Don’t apologize to your guests when something goes wrong. Words of apology should never come out of a hostess’ mouth. Learn to bite your tongue when something burns or doesn’t turn out. Think quickly to how you can add a sauce, change the presentation of the food (turn the burnt side down), add fresh herbs to make it look better, or if a dessert, add whipped cream on top.

MISTAKE: “I’m so sorry I scorched the chicken!” Once you apologize, you can change the whole course of the evening. Everyone is thinking about what went wrong, it makes them uncomfortable, it takes away from the once–relaxed setting, and all eyes are on YOU. Many times, guests would never have known something went bad if you would have kept it to yourself.

5. Enjoy every moment of holiday celebrations. Holidays are easy because you can have music playing in the background, your house is already decorated and the spirit is in the air. Learn to sit back, relax, and enjoy your guests!

MISTAKE: “My house is not perfect, thus I don’t want people over!” When we fall into the “perfection-trap” we lose our joy and ability to enjoy others. Our mind is on ourselves and it’s a very selfish focus. Once we learn to put our perfections aside (and realize we are “all” imperfect), we can move on to the benefits of entertaining: spending time with family and friends and getting to know them in a deeper way. We create healthy memories for our children when we invite people over and show them how to become hospitable.

Entertaining during the holidays can be very stressful.

Again, organization, pulling your family in to help, keeping it all very simple (KISS–Keep It Simple, Sister!), and realizing the reason we are all gathering in the first place, really helps our attitude.

Instead of spending time in the kitchen, take off your apron, grab a plate of food, and join your guests.

There’s nothing left for you to do but enjoy.

What mistake do you tend to make with holiday entertaining? We’d love to hear your tips!

It was over 7 years ago that we enjoyed a brand new kitchen at our old home that we lived in for 10 years. I remember the freshness of moving in, unpacking from the garage, having brand-new – and feeling on top of the world.

Then life became … reality.

The kitchen, that once was sparkling new, didn’t seem so new any more. The glitter of it all started to fade as I still had to do dishes and other messy work. Just when you think you have the kitchen clean, all the kids come home, food is left out, dishes are left in the sink. Reality meant stacks of “stuff” piled up on the counters, mail to be opened, reminders to be put onto the calendar. The kids make huge messes, the cupboards need wiping down because of the spaghetti sauce that ran over.

My busy life left my new kitchen looking not so pretty anymore. My happiness began to wane.

Those of you who have followed my blog know that we remodeled our kitchen in our present home 2 years ago. It was a long process to get it done, doing much of the work ourselves, working with a tight budget. We had to make decisions to cut things that we wanted, to keep in things that were important to us, to make it a place of comfort, rest, healing, and satisfaction to many bodies who would be congregating there in the years to come. And sure enough, we’ve had many entertaining moments in the last 2 years. More than I can count!

The taste of “newness” and “freshness,” and thinking life will be happier when my new kitchen is done … never really took place, partly because using “if” and “when” thinking never works.

It’s a robber of our time and thought process to “go there” with that kind of thinking.

I want to remember the lesson I learned with my old kitchen. I was just as happy then as I am now. My happiness didn’t lie in perfect or new. Because as perfect and new wears off, and becomes old rather quickly, life just finds its way of settling in again.

It’s then that I’m reminded that I must keep my priorities straight.

As the newness has already faded, I quickly stop and remind myself that it’s what goes on in our kitchen that really matters. It’s about the love that transpires, the bonding with friends and family that is inspired, the nourishment that will be provided and shared together.

It’s sitting back and relaxing; what I call sharing the common life.

Bringing our kids and their friends back into the “center of the home,” for last minute get-togethers, planned holiday events, buffet or sit-down dinners with our friends.

God blesses us all with exactly what we have each day. It’s perfect for the day, whether old or new, and He meets our needs, down to the finest details.

I want to daily create a place of love, in the heart of my home, called “the kitchen”, where food is served, and real sharing takes place.

How have you kept a healthy perspective of your imperfect kitchen?

Thanks for joining me in my “30 Days of Summer Entertaining” series.

Let’s just say that your excuse to not entertain has been that your house is too small.

But now that it’s summer, the outdoors provides the perfect space, right?

Possibly it’s not quite perfect enough for you, though. You don’t have money to buy the “nice” furniture from Pottery Barn, a brand new BBQ, patio decorations, or you don’t have anything to entertain the kids … so you settle for the smaller family barbeques because, hey! They won’t care, they are just family.

You let the imperfect stop you from having the people over that you really want to forge stronger relationships with. You know you should invite them, but you just can’t do it.

Perfect robs way too many of the good. The good in this case is that you put your pride aside, you come up with a plan that will work for company, you delegate portions of the meal if money is a problem, you borrow tables and chairs if that is a problem or spread a blanket on the ground, you spend 1/2 day cleaning the area that you want to spruce up.

You have to make an effort to overcome perfect.

Or it will steal something very good from you.

If you have a family, did you know that you are robbing your kids of beautiful memories and fun times, PLUS the joy of hospitable living, if you never have people over?

What’s your struggle with perfect?

Feel free to grab my button and share it with your readers, too.

<a href=”http://reluctantentertainer.com”><img src=”http://reluctantentertainer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/30dosu125Flowers”</a>

Last week as I sent my son out to set the patio table for a barbeque with a few friends, I noticed one thing that in past years I would have fixed right away, even if it meant me taking everything off the table, and then resetting it.

Do you see anything a little different here?

Yes, the tablecloth was wrong side up with the tag showing!

I decided not to make it right, because it really didn’t matter.

I can honestly say that looking back over years of entertaining, I fussed too much about things that are ridiculous to even think about now. Things that others would never have noticed–only my critical eye.

It’s not only a lesson for me, but for my kids, that “things don’t have to be perfect” in order to enjoy your guests.

I left the tablecloth exactly how it was. I didn’t point it out and he never knew.

I grabbed a few flowers to set in the center of the table, including a flower from the chives.

We enjoyed a fantastic cool spring tiki-lit night, good food, great friends … and a imperfect table.

Do you struggle with perfectionism? How do you think it affects your children?

A few weeks ago we had our friends over for dinner and as my husband and I served the main course, I broke my own Tenth Commandment: Never Apologize.

My husband’s sharp eyes darted across the table at me as I was falling all over my apologetical words (blah, blah, blah …)

I felt caught in my own web.

I actually did what I’ve told thousands of readers not to do.

I couldn’t find the recipe for this chicken dish tonight, so I winged it! I really hope it tastes okay! … is what I told my guests.

What in the world was I thinking? I knew to never apologize to my guests for culinary mishaps. And it wasn’t even a mistake – the dish actually turned out quite tasty. I think I felt like I needed to “warn” them or something. And what I did was put them on edge.

Reasons to never apologize to your guests:

1. It makes your guests feel uncomfortable and awkward.

2. How do you want your guests to respond? What is it you’re wanting from them with an apology?

3. It causes your guests to take their first bite wondering what they are going to taste.

4. It makes your guests wonder what ingredients might have been left out.

5. It puts the attention back on me, which again is awkward and selfish.

Sometimes apologies are necessary, but most of the time NOT.

Can you think of a time when you apologized unnecessarily?

(Did you know that you can print out a list of my RE Ten Commandments?)

Don’t forget to comment to be eligible to WIN this amazing GIVEAWAY from S.D.G. Artistry going on at RE right now …

Over the years I’ve received numerous emails and comments at RE from women who may deal with a different problem than most of us face.

Most of us worry that our house isn’t clean enough to invite others in, so we either don’t invite, or we think twice about it!

But my friend, Gina, deals with the opposite problem. Her house is SO clean … keep on reading …

I do struggle with perfectionism sometimes, and interestingly enough sometimes I struggle with the opposite. When I hear “your house is so clean! I love your decorations, how do you do it? my house could never be this clean,” comments like these make me feel like people think I’m too perfect and I know I’m not. It makes me feel like I do too much, am too much of a perfectionist or something like that. I know there is a balance and the bottom line is whether I am obedient to how God wants me to live, keeping house included. I appreciate the reminder that my house is not all about me. It’s about others (my family included!) – Gina, Not So Random Stuff

I appreciate Gina’s honesty, as she shares that it actually makes her feel uncomfortable that her house is so sparkling clean.

One thing I’ve learned after entertaining is that when I go to bed at night, after everyone has gone, is to think about the things I had FEARED. And then how those fears never came to pass. The night actually turned out great, far better than I had imagined. My guests were blessed and so was I. And no one seemed to notice the fine details of my house!

Are you a fanatic about your house being “perfect,” that it makes you feel uncomfortable?

Is your home and your philosophy about entertaining designed to “bless” or “impress?”

How does one live ready, and always? -Ann Voskamp

On a Friday, a few weeks ago and my day off from work, I had a million things “to do” on my list and in my mind. But I sat down to read some of Ann’s new book …

Will I live life fully … or just empty?

My thoughts went directly to myself, and how I was feeling about the 12 friends coming over for a Super Bowl Party.

Okay, I’ll be honest here. With my writings about courage, challenging others to “invite,” guiding people along and encouraging them to “reach out,” my mind still goes toward the “my house isn’t good enough,” “what will they think?” “we need to remodel our bathrooms,” “what about the carpet,” and “will they like the food?”

Me, me, me.

Ann’s words this day were salve for an anxious mind and a nervous attitude about entertaining.

It’s not about me. It’s about dying to self, living, being gracious, giving out.

My focus for having people over is not about my house.

It’s not about gourmet food or the image that comes along with entertaining.

No, my focus needs to be sitting with my friends, engaging, having fun, laughing, eating, sharing stories, watching the game here and there, celebrating the Packers victory, and NOT worrying about my house.

How do we live fully?

Or do we worry about things that really don’t matter?

I’d love to hear whether you struggle and worry about ‘stuff’ when you know people are coming over?

(If you haven’t bought a copy yet, of Ann’s new book, One Thousand Gifts, you can HERE.)

Awhile back we had friends stop by to deliver something to us (it was actually a delicious cake!), right at dinner time, right as I was pulling this lasagna out of the oven.

Of course I wanted our friends to stay, but they had other plans.

I think back to times when friends have stayed. Even though the tablecloth I quickly threw on the table might have had a few wrinkles, our time together was still the best!

The beauty of drop-in dinners is to not lose your mind, but to invite, give yourself a quick pep-talk that you are not going to overdo, and then keep it simple.

And then to prepare yourself to relax and ENJOY your company, no matter what happens!

- Offer your guests a beverage
- Give them a chore to help with in the kitchen
- Hand them a stack of dishes and silverware to set the table with
- If you need something from the store, ask them to make a quick food run

The key is to not worry about perfection.

I bet at the end of the evening, with this kind of meal, that your guests will hop up and help clean the kitchen too! As I recall dropping in to bed, and thinking how surprised I was by simple the dinner turned out to be, it gave me a sense of satisfaction that I really don’t have to spend the time worrying about making things perfect.

It always seems to flow …

When’s the last time you had a drop-in dinner? Did you enjoy it or were you stressed?

The holidays are here whether we are ready or not. Some of us have joyous feelings and some of us have a dreading pit deep inside our stomachs. Many of us do not embrace our imperfections, which causes stress in our lives. (Did you read my post and reader’s comments on perfectionism and my white, chipped every-day dishes?)

I really want to encourage hospitality here at RE, and help readers overcome and think about if perfectionism is robbing you of the joys that you should be experiencing. Jodi from Back 40 Life is a part of this mission today as she is joining us for a FANTASTIC GIVEAWAY.

Last week I hosted a dinner party for 18, and the day of the event this special gift came in the mail. Beautiful and encouraging – a reminder for what dinner time and hosting others is all about.

The plaque that arrived read:

The fondest memories are made gathered around the table.

Before I give the details, I’d like to share an excerpt from my book, The Reluctant Entertainer.

There is a deeper reason why it’s imperative that we combat perfectionism in our lives. When we strive to make hospitality perfect instead of excellent, we isolate ourselves from others. Perfectionists have a hard time making and keeping friends. They are not very happy because they know they will never be able to live up to their own unrealistic expectations. And our unrealistic expectations can actually hurt those around us, because they feel they can never measure up. – The Reluctant Entertainer

Today I want to encourage excellent hospitality. Let’s leave the “perfect” ideas behind and reach out and enjoy this beautiful season that is already here!

ANSWER TO WIN
Tell me whether you look forward to the holidays or dread them? Include in what area you struggle or how you’ve learned to overcome perfectionism?

WHAT TO WIN
You will win ONE 18×18 plaque that says “The Fondest Memories are made Gathered Around the Table (US only, $45 value)

WINNER CHOSEN
Friday, November 12th, the winner will be announced.

EXTRA CHANCES
Tweet, Facebook, or blog about the giveaway for an extra chance. You must come back and let me know about it.

Friends, you can totally do your Christmas shopping early – I’m telling you that this plaque is encouraging, classy, and stunning to look at! You can read more about Jodi and the dream of Back40Life… living a slower-paced lifestyle that celebrates the simplicity of life and enjoyment in the every day … on Jodi’s blog. You can visit her Etsy shop, here You can also get a signed copy of my book, here.

Back 40 Life is offering to RE readers ONLY, through Thanksgiving, this plaque for $40.

(Thank you, Back40Life, for being a sponsor of RE!)

I’m not afraid to be real here at RE, mistakes, messes and all – so I decided to show you what my kitchen looked like after we cooked our Zucchini Noodles Pasta dish the other night.

A mess indeed.

My daughter and I got in and cleaned it up after dinner.

Washed up the larger pans.

Ahh … much better. But still not perfect.

And then beautiful garden tomatoes on the counter. So lovely.

I think food bloggers show beautiful photos of cooking, but they rarely show the mess. Or talk about who ate the food. Or what the atmosphere was like while the food was being devoured. Or rarely do they share about hungry kids screaming in the background while they were taking these beautiful photos …

So today I’m not afraid to show you my mess.

Do you clean as you cook, or do you wait until after the meal and clean up the entire mess then?

I was looking around my living room the other day, realizing that it was drab and lacked pizzazz. I really like to move things around and freshen up the room, but this time I decided to bring in a brand new color – a teal blue.

But let me start with the obstacle that many women get hung up on: They don’t invite others into their homes because they just don’t like them Yes, it’s true, and it’s very sad!

Think about these simple ideas and see if you gain a new perspective. Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a pep talk and adjust our attitudes a bit.

How to freshen up the room
1. Start in one corner and clean out/straighten up the area (stack the books, toss the magazines), moving through the entire room.
2. Wipe down or dust the furniture.
3. Vacuum the entire room, moving the furniture if you need to.
4. Wipe down the window seals.
5. Take everything off of the furniture and start over. Try to thin out your decorations or rearrange.
6. Add a new color to liven it up!
7. Remember our guests are not coming to see our homes. They are coming to see us!

I went to Pier 1 and bought one candle, 2 pillows on sale, and added a few new colored decorating balls to my current new yard sale dish.

I put two pillows away.

And added 2 new.

I replaced the green candle here.

With the blue candle here.

To my new $4 yard sale bowl, I added a mixture of decorating balls.

I followed the steps above to freshen up the room, added a new color, and was surprised at how it felt like a brand new room. In fact today, when I friend came over, she commented on the “new” look.

It doesn’t take much to re-do a room. Paint and new furniture can completely transform a room, yes! But you have to have time and money – and in today’s economy, most of us are working harder for what we have. We have less time and less money.

I really like to keep things simple. I want to encourage others to make their houses homey and welcoming, so that when you have guests over you feel good about it.

Perfect? No way. But inviting? Yes!

Have you thought about adding a new color to a room in your home that feels drab?

Would you be willing to share what obstacle stops you from inviting others in?

(I’m happy to announce the 2 winners of my new book, The Reluctant Entertainer. Lisa James (no blog) and Kim, from Vintage Poppies. Congratulations Ladies!)

Okay, RE Readers … here’s a cry of help from my friend Aggie! We all know that our homes don’t have to be perfect to invite others in, but what do you do when the animals have destroyed your furniture? Here’s my personal story. A few years back after buying a brand new leather sofa, we bought a kitty for our son. End of story … our leather sofa has never been the same since.

Can you help Aggie out today?

Sandy, I need advice! I’m having a little get together with the ladies next Wednesday evening for a purse party. So I just panicked when I saw that my couches are tore up from the dog! I totally forgot. What should I do? I think we will be spending the time in the kitchen with the wine and food, so I may suggest having the purses displayed over on the couches.

Do you think I can cover them temporarily with something that looks “nice”? Maybe linens? What do you think?

It’s the loveseat and chair. And I’m really trying to K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple, Sister!) Your book is really making me aware of how nuts I make myself when I entertain. Any tips are appreciated!

What would be YOUR advice for Aggie?

Happy Weekend everyone! I’m pretty sure by next week I”ll have a new look here at RE (thanks to Darcy at Graphically Designing), a bookstore where you can buy a “signed” copy of RE, and a way to PRINT off my RE Ten Commandments. (Plus another RE book givewaway!) So stay tuned …

I have to admit that I wasn’t very happy when the weather report said 90% chance of rain, and about 25 people were coming for dinner. The graduation party started at 3 and I was running behind. Not a good sign, but the family rallied together; everyone pitched in to help.

I quickly had to move the furniture around to a covered area and “plan ahead.” I was so wanting a day of perfect weather!

Tables under the patio. (Oops! One table cloth got ironed, the other not!)

Buffet style BBQ, so the tables were easy. Simple flowers in wide-bottom low-profile vases.

Some of us sat outside.

And some inside.

And then the sun came out. Go figure!

Which made it more enjoyable for all! The ladies of the group (my tradition when we have a dinner party – get the ladies’ picture!) which happened to be my sisters, cousins, and nieces.

And then we added the younger and the older.

The memories for our graduates started off with this book personalized with stickers (brilliant job, Lisa!)

El and Alex are Moving out, Moving up, and Moving on … (Elliot our son, Alex our nephew)

Which brought us to a great ending for our party. We’re thankful for the 18 years with our sons and pray God’s blessings on many more years. We’ve done our job; now it’s their job to go and make a difference in this world.

Getting back to perfectionism, would you have been okay with one table cloth ironed and the other one not? Or going with the flow, moving the tables around, because of the weather?

(Winners to The Gift of an Ordinary book are Deborah (no blog) and Kathy. Congrats, Ladies!)

When I read my friend Nester’s post called, “Enjoying the Process,” I thanked her for giving us women permission to become authentic and real with one another. Make sure and read her story. You’ll be inspired.

We’re hosting a party in a few weeks, with some of the guests having never been in our home, and I’ll be real with you right now. These are some of the thoughts that have gone through my mind:

What will they think?

I have to fix this and that.

Will they feel comfortable?

Do we have room?

Will I get my windows clean in time?

What about the cob webs?

I have to constantly have pep talks with myself. Today is what is important. Do what I can today. It’s okay to plan ahead, but let go of perfectionism. Keep my guests in mind and not the state of my house.

I’m still learning to live in the now.

And learning to enjoy today.

Do you struggle with image or having to keep things perfect? Does your mind wander off in different directions when you think about hosting a dinner party? Would you be willing to share your struggles?

Thank you, Nester, for helping remind us to keep things real! Don’t forget to link up this week on Wednesday to Home is … here at RE. We’ll be sharing our Mother’s Day Memories! (See sidebar for future topics.)