Gift of Love: Caregiving During the Holidays!
Many people try to visit the elderly and needy around the holidays, but my amazing friend Anna cares for her elderly father every day, seven days a week, all year long. It is a labor of love for her, but labor nonetheless. I asked her for some ideas on how we can help people like her any time of the year. Here are some helpful nuggets that she was willing to share with me. Thank you Anna!
-First is that the caregiver her/himself needs to realize it is OK to pray for themselves. I always prayed for others, until I learned I needed to pray for my own strength, wisdom, compassion and patience.
-Second, it is very difficult for the primary caregiver to get outside the home. The loved one cannot be left alone. A GREAT gift would be a caring person to come for a couple of hours, so the caregiver could get a chance to get out. Free elder-care, so to speak. I do pay a companion once a week, so I can go grocery shopping, and attend to whatever household needs we have. It would be SO nice to have a free caregiver, just for an hour or 2, so I could perhaps have dinner or lunch with my son or a friend.
-A third need that seems like such a small thing, but…if anyone likes the elderly, what a cherished gift it would be to just make some time to sit and visit. Just 15-20 minutes would be lovely. Dad’s friends are either dead and gone, or in about the same shape he’s in. He has so few friends left. (Not because he isn’t a wonderful man, just because of age). At this time, I feel like I am Dad’s only friend, and I’m sure he gets bored talking with me all the time.
-Lastly….if you know anyone who is a primary caregiver….it is so important to call before dropping in. You just never know what is going on when you drop by unannounced. If you do drop by, don’t panic if no one answers the door. I heard someone at the door recently, but I ignored it to help Dad. Unfortunately it was relatives whom we didn’t know were visiting from out of town.
Do you have caregivers in your family or circle of friends who could use some love and support during these upcoming holidays?
It doesn’t hurt to reach out, to remember them, and to keep Anna’s tips in mind.
What a gift of love!
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I’m Sandy—lover of food, family, cooking, THE BIG BOARD, travel, and bringing people together. Through great recipes and connection around the table, we become better, stronger, and more courageous people. Feasting on Life is real, and every time we do it, we grow a little more. Read more...
This is truly a wonderful insight into how we can give back during the holidays. We take for granted those who are caring for their elders and how a little bit of conversation along with companionship can work wonders for those unable to get out as much as they used to. Thank you so much to you and Anna for the insight :)
What a beautiful story & Anna I know you are doing a wonderful thing for Uncle. Please take care of yourself tho. I feel very helpless not living closer to you so I could help. Thank you Sandy for sharing Anna’s story. Give Uncle a hug for me. Love you, Cousin Linda
Thank you Sandy for posting this. I had forgotten all about that e-mail to you. You truly are a gem when it comes to finding the right thing to say at the right time.
Dad and I are doing well.
I got our artificial tree up. I had to re-arrange the furniture a bit, so Dad’s recliner is next to the tree. He loves to sit in his chair and watch the twinkling lights. He fingers the ornaments, sometimes pulls/knocks them off, but since I opted for plastic or cloth ones this year, no harm done. This could be his last Christmas with me, so I cherish each moment. (OK, not so much at 3am, lol).
Thank you again Sandy
What a nice little bit of caring information to share, thanks. I don’t have to look after anyone but I do see people from time to time caring for their loved ones and sometimes they look so tired, its hard to know how to help, but this has given me some ideas. Thanks.
We took care of my grandparents for 5 years, and they were bedridden. It is maybe one of the most difficult things to do in your life, it mainly drains your mental health..you lose all your optimism about life. I think people need to pay attention to the caretaker’s needs maybe just as much as the sick/old person’s. I wish your friend and her father ease and comfort. This was a very important post…thank you.
As the caregiver to my husband, I thank you for this post. Just having a hour is such a precious gift. Thanks for bringing this to light.
What a wonderful post Sandy! I had two grandmothers who suffered from Alzheimers, and I couldn’t agree more with all of the ideas/suggestions. Those were very difficult times for those caring for each of them.
Awesome Sandy!!! Thanks for shining a light on this. :)
Thank you for posting these helpful suggestions. I had one of my Bible Study buddies who had a long recovery from surgery (and lives alone) suggest that instead of just dropping off a meal, ask to stay and share the meal. I had never thought about that before either.
AS a caregiver myself, I appreciate this post.
Wonderful post…we had my Mother in law living with us for a year before she passed away…everything you said is so true.
Blessings, and a big thank you.
What a beautiful post, Sandy!!
Such a great post. I have not had to do this, but know those who have and see this as so necessary. Even checking in with the elderly who live by themselves. On our way out of town the other day we drove past a house where we know and elderly woman lives and my hubby said “you and the girls should stop in there sometime and say hi and maybe just bring her something special”. We get so busy, that it is easy to forget and it just shouldn’t be that way!
When we were living with an older woman in our church for 2 1/2 years, it really made me realize how much they love company and conversation.
When I look at friends who care for the elderly (in adult foster homes) or their own parents I realize how much is required of them.
Thanks for posting on this topic Sandy.
This made me cry.
My husband and I live with his father, who had a brain hemmorhage a year ago. I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say that this post is something that rings incredibly true for me. The gift of time is a great gift – it’s such a treat for us to be able to just have dinner outside the house together, even if it’s only an hour, when we can arrange for someone to come over. It’s so important for people to realize that a caregiver can feel so alone, and that they need help just as much as the person they’re caring for does.
I wish there was a way I could help Anna and let her get out and enjoy some free time – I know how special it is! Just remember: take care of yourself first, so that you can be the best caregiver possible.