Simple Parties: Freedom to NOT Overdo!
Beautiful Classicly Amber is my guest today, and she’s my kind of girl. Just look at her side bar and you can see what’s on her “to do” list right now. And if you want to know what rocks her socks, check out this page!
I love Amber’s recipes and photography … and she’s really in to design, farm, and food! Thank you, Amber, for being my guest today at RE!
Howdy all! My name is Amber and I am the Amber behind ClassiclyAmber, the blog where I share all kinds of crap about my life – anything from design inspiration to homesteading to mealtime recipes to crafting to – well, stop by sometime to see! :D You can just call me The Reluctant Guest Poster, though, because I have honestly been so nervous about taking over someone else’s blog, especially Sandy’s since she reigns the domestic entertaining scene! She just really inspires me with her down to earth, classy style of entertaining and making others feel special in her home. I have been taking notes from her on being the best hostess – and I just can’t wait until her book comes out so I can learn more!
I was asked by Sandy to share some of my thoughts about what our family does to throw a simple party. You know those, right? Those are the times when you really want to create a party that is special, yet stress-free [or as close to it as you can get!]. I’ve had to learn this the hard way in my near-decade of being a mom.
Looking back, I can see that I put WAY too much emphasis on all the extra stuff for parties when it didn’t do much for the quality of a celebration that my birthday kiddo was having.
Sure – it impressed friends and family, but it got the point to where I was sacrificing my sanity [and my child’s happiness?] just to do that. Basically, I wanted to throw a Martha Stewart style shuhbang without having any of her fabulous assistants to help out. Plus, I started feeling like each year, I had to outdo the previous year’s party I had put on. I have no idea how I got started in that crazy cycle, but have seen other moms get caught up in it, too. It’s time to break free!
Here are my tips for throwing a successful, simple party:
1. First and foremost, throw out any rules!!
These are the preconceived notions of what you think a celebration should be like and allow yourself to pick what YOU want it to be like! If you are having a birthday party for your child and cake is NOT his favorite, then why are we making it a focal point for dessert on his special day again?? Let him pick his own dessert, if you’re into freedom of choice here. He might ask for apple pie or brownies…or sweet potatoes with ketchup. Is it really such a big deal to not make a traditional birthday cake? Well, you won’t get those standard cutesie birthday cake pics if you’re feeding your child his favorite sweet potatoes with ketchup, but we aren’t celebrating the perfect pics in a birthday album. Plus, it can be just as cute to be covered in sweet potatoes and ketchup for the pics, right? Anyway, we are celebrating a person, and every person has their own unique tastes. Let the celebration reflect the person you are celebrating. So don’t get caught up in traditions, if you’d rather not. Start your OWN traditions and do what YOUR family loves! :)
2. Prioritize
If you’re anything like me, you have to clearly define your limits or else the temptation to go overboard is very real. Define the 3 most important aspects of your celebration. I’m saying to just focus on 3 big things so that this whole celebration-thing doesn’t get out of hand. Here are my 3 usual areas of focus for a simple party: quality of the food [I enjoy showing my love by making food as gourmet as possible], make one or two things specifically for the Star of the Show [what’s popular around here right now are my homemade hats and custom table mats, sure to change as the kids get older. maybe.], and the birthday gift. We always ask a week or two in advance: “So honey, what all types of foods would you like to chow down on – on your big day?” I like to prepare their fav breakfast, lunch and dinner – and desserts, of course! Make it a simple all-day-long celebration! Last, if I have the time, inspiration and wherewithal, I will do light decorations for a simple party, too [balloons, banner, ribbons, candles, flowers].
3. Quality trumps quantity
Yes, it can be fun to have 50 guests at the party, but bear in mind that that means a lot of extra food and drink preparation. Plus, when I’ve upped the number of guests to my parties, I have found that I had to start upping party details, while also cutting back on the quality of each detail. Don’t sacrifice quality for quantity. However, for me and my messed up mind, I felt like I truly couldn’t sacrifice quality as much, so then I had to sacrifice my sanity in preparing gourmet food for all of those people. Let me tell you…you have no idea what it feels like to plan this massive party and then to actually have some of your guests come in and help you finish up food – or decor – or whatever – – all because you overextended yourself. [[[embarrassment]]] I am not talking about light details here. I am talking about my adding in extra main course foods at the last minute just so we could have more guests…or be more fancy…or whatever. It was like I didn’t know when to stop – and it happened to me many, many times. So I learned that even though the quality of my food was still good, it was the quality of the experience for not only my guests but also myself that was totally lacking there.
Please let me reiterate that in and of itself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a big time celebration. For our family, though, we decided to cut back on those for yearly birthdays and keep it more simple…and they are more meaningful to us. We now save the big celebrations for milestone birthdays and events, and since those don’t come as often, then it is easier to handle [for me, anyways!].
Over and over again, ask yourself WHY you’re doing each specific thing that you’re doing for the party.
If you can’t justify it, then save yourself the stress by skipping over it. Plus, once you try hosting a quality down-sized party, you will see how enjoyable it can be for you and everyone!
So this is how our family has simple celebrations for non-milestone birthdays and low-key dinner parties, etc. I hope these tips have helped bring freedom to someone out there who feels like she has to overdo it to prove her love and appreciation to her family.
You really CAN have a wonderful celebration by keeping it uber simple!
And in doing it this way, you will not only have the TIME to show your love and appreciation, but also be relaxed and happy in the process by keeping it perfectly simple.
Have you thought about re-evaluating how you plan for a party? If so, what aspects of planning a party really seem to steal your joy?
Don’t forget to LINK UP tomorrow to Home is … and share a springy tablescape!
Hello and welcome to my home and table!
I’m Sandy—lover of food, family, cooking, THE BIG BOARD, travel, and bringing people together. Through great recipes and connection around the table, we become better, stronger, and more courageous people. Feasting on Life is real, and every time we do it, we grow a little more. Read more...
Great post. I’ve always made my girl’s birthday parties all about them. I ask them what they want to eat, who they want to invite, etc…We tell them how many friends to invite. I’ve seen parties where the majority of the guests are adults, and there is no focus on the child whatsoever. When they were little, the parents sometimes stayed, now, they drop their girls off (usually because there’s a slumber party involved), and come back later to get them. Since we’re youth pastors, our girls will often invite a few of our young adults who are close to them relationally.
We usually have dinner (something easy), snacks and whatever dessert they want. Last year my oldest chose chocolate fondue with lots of items to dip, and cut up fruit with dip. It was a HUGE hit! We’ve had everything from sloppy joes, turkey burgers, chili, fettucini and teriyaki kabobs! Whatever they feel like.
Too bad you didn’t have any chicken spread pics! Because no Amber party is complete without the chicken spread! Remember that! Can you throw a chicken spread party for me? =)
Love the post and I do think you throw the most awesome, low-stress parties! Even with my budget friendly park party for Emma was a bit overwhelming!!
Love,
Kelli
A Chicken Spread Party? Can we call it that, too? It sounds like something that needs to happen at the same time we host our First Annual Chicken Chase Competition! Don’t forget your boots!
Amber, what is your idea on goodie bags??
.-= AnneMarieZ´s last blog ..crossing guard =-.
Goodie bags? It’s all good if you want to go for it! I personally haven’t done goodie bags in about 4 years, the last time I threw a massive bday party. I noticed that after all the money we spent on the neat things to put in the bags [not a TON of money, but it was moolah nonetheless!], a lot of the kids didn’t really appreciate the gesture that much. I actually had to go outside after the party and pick up a lot of goodie bag toys and candy off the lawn because some of the kids had been…um…careless? So yes, that made me question the idea of goodie bags in the first place….
However, if your party is kept smallish and simple, then it would be even easier to whip up a few [more meaningful?] goodies for the guests. :D
I already adore Amber and her blog. LOVE your style Amber! I had to find a balance between over the top and practical but still meaningful. My life as a wedding planner made me want to make everything “too much.” But, I have finally come to grips with what is important when it comes to my family and entertaining. Everyone’s birthday (the actual day) is celebrated with a meal of their choice and a dessert of their choice (usually ice cream cake).
GREAT TIPS AMBER!
.-= Holly L´s last blog ..DIY Club! Finally Fat-Free Biscuits! =-.
Holly, YOU are so sweet! Thank you so much for your encouraging comments!
Loved this post, Amber. My kids are all teens now but the majority of parties have been right around their birthday – in our home. I think those are the best birthdays! I was just looking at pix the other day. Thanks for being here today and adding your insight! Wonderful!
Sandy
Aw, thanks for having me, Sandy! This was a lovely experience~! :D
Great post! We traditionally celebrate at home with just us on the kids’ actual birthdays, and then have a get-together with family on the weekend before or after (usual at Grandma’s house).
My son had his 5th birthday last year and since it was a milestone birthday, for the first time we had it with some of his friends at Chuck-E-Cheese. It was okay, but I prefer our lower-key ones at home and Grandma’s :)
Did ya make it out of Chuck-E-Cheese okay? ;) I love the way your low-key bday parties sound! Fun, but not overwhelming!
What great tips for party planning. I wish I had read this before the end of May. :)
.-= He & Me + 3´s last blog ..I Would Like To Know… =-.
Ha!! But now you know, right? Just be free to do whatever your family wants to do from here on out – and don’t worry ’bout it!
Thanks, girl!
My little goober is two, so he’s not exactly to the competition phase of the game. But he definitely already associates birthdays with balloons and cake, and since he LOVES both of those things, it is pretty easy to please him. He gets a simple cake with frosting, and he’s thrilled.
I loved this post, I think it was very helpful. Good job, Amber!
.-= Christina´s last blog ..An Open Letter to my Arch-Nemesis =-.
I think you are totally balanced with celebrating your kiddo’s big day! It sounds like a simple good time! :D
Such a good reminder! In theory, I’m on board. In practice, not always.
I’m with Amanda on the kid-party thing, too. We have TWO birthdays in June, and with school letting out, we will never be able to have big-blowout birthdays unless we start throwing Un-Birthdays in March or October! But my boys don’t mind – they want people around them (family), a friend or two) a cake, and candles. That’s really all it takes. We’ll be taking one kid and his best friend somewhere fun for the day – like a local amusement park, and the other we’ll celebrate over the 4th of July. He doesn’t mind it’s a week after his birthday, and it’s perfect b/c we’re all together as a family. That’s all that really matters!
Thank you for the lovely post and lovely photos!
Celebrating Unbirthdays? I love that, too! :D
And I agree: togetherness is one of the most important aspects of celebrating!
This was a wonderful guest post. :) I have really learned to stop “competing” when it comes to my kids’ birthday parties. We just don’t have the money to rent out the local gymnastics place, ballet studio, rent a bouncy house, etc. I plan ahead of time for my girls’ parties, but we keep it simple now. And the kids are just as happy!
.-= Amanda @ Serenity Now´s last blog ..Why I Don’t Have Book Club =-.
Ah, you are so right, Amanda! Sometimes, it really DOES become all about competing, doesn’t it? And competing is a stressful, money-draining experience! None of that matters to the kids, though. Like you said, they still have a blast without all of that. It took me too long to learn my lesson!
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