Balcony Girls: Speak up so you don’t Explode!


We stepped outside onto the lawn and shook a can of soda – quickly!


And then we popped the top open. Fffzzzzzzzz…………
I asked the girls if they ever get so mad at their friends that they feel they are going to explode?
Yes, that scenario was familiar to all of them!
If you can learn to stand up for yourself NOW, at the age of 12, I told the girls this week at Balcony Girls, then you are learning how to handle friends who will try to walk all over you!
My niece Lisa chimed in as well. Learn about friendships now and what it means to be true to yourself. It will save you a lot of heartache down the road.
THIS is a gift that you are giving yourself, by learning it NOW, we both agreed.
What makes us angry?
* Your friend has been telling lies about you (remember hurt people hurt people!)
* She puts you down in front of others, humiliating you
* She does things to hurt you on purpose, like gossip, mean texts or emails
* She tries to talk you into things that you know are wrong (might go against your family rules)
* She only cares what’s on the outside (beauty and stuff), and not about you
* She only invites you over because she is desperate – it makes you feel used
* She embarrasses you in front of others – she points out your flaws
Speak up for yourself!
Part of staying true to who you are (how God has made you, how your parents and family members see you, how your best friend really knows you) is by learning to speak up and to stand up for yourself. To think wisely before you speak (so you won’t regret your words later), and at the same time to defend the innate dignity within yourself.
Stand up for yourself!
Maybe you’re dealing with a mean girl, a situation that you know is not right, so you start thinking of reasons why you shouldn’t stand up for yourself. These fears are real but you have to push past them! You might be thinking:
* She will get mad at me
* She will spread more gossip about me
* I hate conflict! It’s hard!
* I don’t want to hurt her feelings
Talk it out
Find a friend to talk to, or maybe your mom or a teacher. I told the girls to come to me!
You have to talk. You might even have to confront. And you have to respect yourself enough to do these things so you DO NOT EXPLODE inside with anger (again saying something that you might regret later).
My niece Lisa brought a fantastic craft for the girls this week. She brought large cotton laundry bags that she put the girls’ names on – and then each girl decorated their own bag.
Take a jar – paint around the rim and stamp the bag for circles
Original ideas
Personality comes out in their art
12-year-old girl-chatter
Home run snack
Two pans devoured rather quickly
I learn so much myself by having this Balcony Girls group, by opening my home and reaching out to these girls.

The beauty of this group is that there are no expectations.

Except to learn, have fun, and to have a good snack.
How easy is that?
(Yes, I will post the easy snack recipe soon!)

40 comments on “Balcony Girls: Speak up so you don’t Explode!”

  1. Your “balcony girls” times remind me of some of the days I spent working with young college women in leadership. (They were the guinea pigs for my first books.) Most of them are married with families of their own; many serving the Lord in some capacity. It’s such a blessing to hear from them of their memories of those days and their testimonies of how their lives were touched.

    I hope you’re compiling all of these experiences so you can share them with other women who have a great group of gals they’re guiding.

    btw–I’d live to have you join us now and then for Ruby Tuesdays now and then; your blog really epitomizes the kinds of things it represents.

  2. Thanks for this post. I had my 11-soon-to-be 12 year old read it with me. Thank you for creating conversations that may be difficult to bring up on our own. I always look forward to what lesson we can learn next!

  3. As always, the lessons you teach the Balcony Girls are important ones. They are lessons some of us Older Girls could do well to remember too.

    Darla

  4. What a great lesson! And the laundry bag craft is fun & so practical. :) Can't wait to see that recipe!

  5. Hi Sandy,
    Boy, I wish I had known a cool mom like you when I was a kid! Now I’m sharing this post with my 13-year old daughter.

    Great examples, good conversations. Excellent post, my friend. :)

  6. And that is reason #5,352 I wish you lived next door to me – xoxo!

  7. I so needed to read that post myself! I love that you do this! It get’s me excited about teaching the girls I work with, helping them navigate through life, reminding them of God’s ways! Thanks so much!!

  8. Thanks for sharing with all of us……I really enjoy reading your blog…….it’s like having a tall drink of water on a simmering hot day…….so refreshing….

  9. Love the soda idea and all the lessons learned! =)

  10. What a great idea for the bags. I love the circles! Super cute!!

  11. As a former middle school teacher and administrator, I only wish every girl had an opportunity to be part of such a wonderful group. I love this age, and I hope to do something similar when my baby becomes this age. Thanks again for the inspiration.

  12. Hola.
    Llevo mucho tiempo entrando en tu blog, es precioso, no se mucho ingles asi que, muchas cosas no las entiendo, felicitarte, me encanta todo lo que haces, me gustaría que pudieras añadir a tu página un traductor de google asi no me perderia nada.
    Un beso

  13. i’m guilty of bottling up a lot of emotion, though it’s not usually aimed at my friends. i think i’m just too easily annoyed. :)

  14. Love the post. Love the ministry you have with your balcony girls. Love you! I think so many issues would be resolved if people would just go right to the source and talk about whatever it is they have a problem with.

    I hope if anyone has an issue with me they will come right to me with it. Everyone deserves that. And everyone deserves to be heard.

    Have a great weekend!

  15. Great post !! The soda idea is awesome !! Thanks loads :)

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