Leave your Limitations Behind!
I love decorating and creating ambience in my home. I don’t like to cook, but I love fixing up my house and making it a pleasant place for guests to spend time! I wish I was one of those women who is always making something delicious in the kitchen, but working with food just doesn’t interest me as much as being creative with my home. I would be happy as a clam if I had a personal chef living with me who would fix our meals!
I really do enjoy the process of creating a pleasant atmosphere in my home — just like some women enjoy spending time preparing a new recipe!
Does that mean my house is perfect? NO! Come on over and you’ll see unpacked moving boxes and half-completed projects. You won’t find a perfectly decorated house, fancy dishes, or an impeccably clean house either. But I do love to tidy up my house a little bit, light the candles, clear off my coffee table and make sure that my guests enjoy the experience of being in my home while we connect in conversation.
But, what about the food? I don’t want my guests to go away hungry!Â
We all have different things we enjoy doing. And we all have our limitations. We just need to find our own style of entertaining and do what works for us!
In order to open my home to others on a regular basis, I have assembled a few basic recipes that I can make for guests. My meals may not be fancy, they may not be gourmet and they probably won’t impress those with culinary skills! And that is O.K. To make it even easier to entertain often, we sometimes set up a taco bar, have ice cream sundaes, or even (gasp!) a Costco meal. And you know what? It is all good!
I have finally made peace with my limitations and am willing to invite guests over even if my cooking skills are somewhat lacking! It isn’t about the food, or the house, and now that I have found my style of entertaining, I can have people over and really enjoy their company!
What are you own limitations in entertaining and what ways can you overcome them?
Hello and welcome to my home and table!
I’m Sandy—lover of food, family, cooking, THE BIG BOARD, travel, and bringing people together. Through great recipes and connection around the table, we become better, stronger, and more courageous people. Feasting on Life is real, and every time we do it, we grow a little more. Read more...
OMGosh this post is so very timely for me…I just hosted to great guests this weekend. Guests who are so close to perfection that I wanted everything to be perfect too for them. I truly love this post…it brought to light my own entertaining “hang ups” (we have pretty much the same entertaining story…I love to decorate and create ambiance but I don’t like to cook)and I’ve realized that at the end of the “hosting” day, it doesn’t really matter…all is good…it’s all about enjoying the company…over some good Costco stuff (like freshly baked Nestle Toll House cookies:) The more we entertain, the more we feel comfortable with our own entertaining style, and the more we enjoy our company. Thanks!
Well–I do love to cook, but my friends an I are very laid back people and so I like to make comfort food type meals that everyone will enjoy. One time we had a beautiful “Breakfast for Supper” where everyone brought their favorite breakfast item. We all hung out in the kitchen preparing our dishes and it was so fun! There was zero pressure because we were all the creators of the meal. Comfortable—that’s the key for me.
I love to cook. however, with four kids it seems it no longer is a love it is a chore. so i find myself cooking one thing that is really great for a party and then ‘fake it’ for the rest of the food; costco is amazing for this. and for my house, we’ve been in school for 12 years so if people don’t like my goodwill furniture than they just don’t have to sit on it. :) but i do totally stress msyelf over how clean my house is. every room must be spotless. eventhough i know they won’t see it. just in case. it’s probably trying to make up for my heinous furnishing.
Great post, as always, Melissa :) We moved to the area a year ago, and about 4 months after our move decided we weren’t meeting enough people so we started inviting a new family over every week (either from church, work, or the neighborhood.) I end up making either pinto beans, chili, or pizza every time…and I’ve just had to learn that’s OK! The Johnsons don’t know I served the Jones the same thing last week, and if anybody asks what they can bring I tell them a salad :) (But, I will admit we mostly invite over “with child” families, so I don’t feel quite so self-conscious about the toys on the floor, plastic dishes in the sink, and bike on the deck. Because I know they’re not going anywhere!)
Thank you for sharing your story!
I think as hostesses we are often critical of ourselves, too hard, we would never judge or criticize a friend like we do ourselves!
I just love going to friends homes! When we go to a friends house we go to visit, and enjoy being with them. Some of my friends are “Martha’s” others are not I usually just enjoy going to their homes because their homes are an extensionn of them.
Well done, though I am admittedly a fierce perfectionist, I appreciate your perspective.
I have a different problem then most on here. I am single, and all my friends are married with lots of kids. I always feel like there isn’t enough table room and I feel awkward being a single host to so many at a time. If I invite just one family, it can be up to 10 people. They are related, so I feel like if I have one family, I need to schedule another day for the other family. Complicated! Sometimes I just break it into girls only. But then I feel like I am leaving husbands and younger kids out. Also, working full time (which they don’t), I am brain dead at the end of a day, so usually I only have them over during Christmas when I’m off. That leaves a lot of other days in the year when I’d love to entertain…but another hampering factor is that no one else seems available to come on spur of the moment since they are so busy, so that means planning way in advance. And even when I do, they usually have something else to run off to. What’s a single “girl” to do? :) Actually, I do enjoy cooking, but it’s hard to afford for so many as well…
I too have entertained more because of Sandy’s example and her just do it type of entertaining. I don’t enjoy cooking but just do it. Thank goodness for a mom and friends with good recipes that I use when I entertain and everyone thinks I am a great cook. I still lack on the centerpiece and theme dept. but we have a good time and I enjoy people coming over to visit. I like it simple and use pretty paper/plastic plates and cups especially in summer. Thanks Melissa for sharing and love your blog too! Connie
I’m right there with Melissa. I loathe cooking… but I can be inspired to create something when I’m wanting to entertain! My favorite part? Setting the table! Mind you, I still keep it simple… because this isn’t an every day occurrence… but I do love to try. :)
First of all I didn’t have any trouble with the link from YOUR blog to here…. my problems with entertaining are that I try TOO hard, want everything perfect and make myself alittle crazy sometimes, even to the point of losing sleep! Ay yi yi! However I do REALLY enjoy “doing” my table. I love to “tablescape”, and unfortunately sometimes the food is second on my list:(. But in the spring and summer I can always rely on my DH to do something on the grill and I have no problem with the sides. I have someone bring a dessert and we are good to go! This is a great post, I love Melissa’s blog and am so glad I now found this one! Pinky
What a great reminder-sometimes I feel so paralyzed with what I feel I need to do make things perfect for guests. It’s more about being together and enjoying each other’s company-it doesn’t matter so much what’s served or what the house looks like (though I try to clean!) Thanks for sharing Melissa and Sandy!
The only time we entertain is when it’s for one of the kid’s birthdays — then, we only have family over. I’m comfortable making mistakes in front of family, but I feel like it has to be perfect for non-family guests. Sadly, the result is that we don’t.
I have wanted to host a tea party for my girlfriends, for ever since I can remember. I have collected the most beautiful mis-matched antique tea cups, and etc…but they’ve never been used.
I blogged my story today, about being a reluctant entertainer. Thanks again for these stories.
I truly am normal. . . who knew!?!?
Sandy’s wonderful advice about entertaining has helped me overcome my limitations. Now that she’s sharing her friend’s ideas too, I’m getting even more ideas!One idea I thought of is create a beautiful or interesting focal point that takes the focus off of a less than clean room or house. For example, last Christmas we invited guests over. The bathroom was clean, but our master bedroom on the way to the bathroom wasn’t as clean. I put some wrapped Christmas gifts, wrapping paper, tape, and scissors on the bed. That way when they trekked to the bathroom, their eyes wouldn’t scan my cluttered corner, but would immediately go to the beautifully wrapped packages on the bed. This also works in other ways. Find something positive for them to focus on – a centerpiece, or even if it’s the current book you’re reading and start a conversation about that. Hospitality is about warmth and love, not “fancy” and “perfect”. See, I’m learning!
So Sorry about the broken link from my blog! Lots of people were trying to come over and I blew it!
Thanks to those of you who figure out how to get here from The Inspired Room in spite of my LACK OF BLOGGING skills (that is another post all by itself!).
Thanks Ladies! And thanks for sharing your own hang ups :-)
Thanks gals for helping all of us with “entertaining issues” work through them, and see that we’re not alone! I am slowly working my way out of my shell, and I’m loving it. Im a grandma, I have a lovely house, lots of time, and STILL let myself be intimidated! How foolish is that?? I think I try to make things too special because I love to decorate and I love themes, when I really just need to say, some over after church for ___ and let it be just folks getting together. I love how you are guiding us to keep it simple and RELAX!! Keep up the good work!
My hang up would be “oh my house is not clean, let me just do this one more thing before they get here!” I am usually done by the time they get here but I barely have time to clean myself up and look presentable!
I am a last minute kind of girl…I push things off till the last minute….I invite people over at the last minute…..I go out on a whim at the last minute….I finish projects at the last minute….well you get the picture!
Mine is a space issue–our house is small, and I can’t seat many people at one time. But you know what? When I do have a large-ish party, no one seems to complain. I need to remember that!
My hang ups are always things such as “I really need a rug in my living room” or “I’m so embarassed that we don’t have an entertainment center yet, but we are saving money to buy one” or “my dogs act freaking insane when new people come over.”
I have taken the advice found on this blog and invited some new friends to come over for pizza and kiddo playtime in a few weeks. I’m very excited, but I’m having difficulty trying to forget all of my issues. EEK!
For me it’s the “I have three young children” excuse. Because it’s more work to get the kids either to bed early (then I lose sleep entertaining) or getting a sitter somewhere else (more cost) or having all the kids of ours and our guests at the house (more distracting). But it IS fun every time we manage.
I can relate–I’ve never been big into cooking, either! Luckily for me, my husband loves to cook and bake, or our guests just might go away hungry. ;-)
Nice post, Melissa! (btw, the link from The Inspired Room to this post is broken. Would’ve told you on your blog, but the comments are closed today.)
My hang up has been that I don’t have the time to make everything perfect. I work over 50 hours a week at my job and when I get home I am almost brain dead daily. Therefore, I get the urge to ‘entertain’ at the last minute and then everything seems so overwhelming. However, I have been reading many blogs lately on how to relax and have a ‘laid-back’ evening at home with friends. If I don’t really think about it as fancy, then I can relax and have fun. So what if they don’t think I am the best cook ever, the thing is…they are right!!! Thanks for helping me overcome my ‘excuses’. I am looking forward to entertaining at my home and feeling great about it being ‘simple’. Thanks for the story.
True that, sister!
I love the candle in the teacup…how cute and sweet that is!
sandy toe
mine would be being a non-baker, but that is an easy one with the patisserie by the beach, though at the moment it’s a bit heavy on the old pocket
sarah
ABeachCottage