Day 16: Three Lies of Perfectionism that Ruin Entertaining Moments

Thanks for joining me in my “30 Days of Summer Entertaining” series. (Scroll down to the bottom for the previous posts to this series) :)

Summer time is the easiest time to entertain. If you’ve been following along my last 15 days of Summer Entertaining, I’ve been sharing easy ways to think outside of the box and make entertaining easier.

One thing we all get caught up in is image:
How will our party look?
What will our guests think of us?
Will they like our family?
Will my family behave so our guests want to come back?
Will the food turn out okay?

I hit the whole “perfectionism” aspect of entertaining with conviction in my book, THE RE. If you want to study it further, pick up a copy or you can order it here. I also wrote about it on Day 2 of this series.

3 Lies of Perfectionism

1. I’m not good enough.

Quit thinking so much about yourself and start thinking about what you can glean from your guests. What characteristics about them, that you really enjoy, can you pick up and implement in your own life? Hospitality is about them, not you.

2. People won’t like my food or cooking.

What a robber of a good time! If your friends are really friends, they will come to your house regardless of the shape it’s in, and have a good time. If they are constantly critiquing your cooking and your family setting, then they really are not your friends.

3. People may not like my family or me.

Even if that proves true, you still opened your home and gave the gift of hospitality. Sometimes people come back, sometimes they reciprocate and invite you to their home, and sometimes they do neither. It a risk to open up your home and your lives to others. The end result is not always perfect, but the fact that you made the effort is what counts.

Again, hospitality is about making others feel warm and welcome.

When we start believing the lie that things have to be perfect, we will completely miss out on some beautiful hospitable moments.

And if you have a family, think about some of the most fantastic gifts of life that you are robbing your children of when you let perfectionism sneak in and stop you from the love and authenticity that genuine hospitality brings.

Believing the lie of perfectionism creates a bad cycle and is one big lie.

Have you allowed perfectionism to rob you of possible summer entertaining opportunities?

If you’ve missed the last 14 days of this series, you can catch up now:

Day 1: Summer Entertaining is About the People
Day 2: When Perfect Robs You of Something Good
Day 3: Who To Invite to Dinner
Day 4: Planning the Menu for Outdoor Entertaining
Day 5: Setting the Table Using What You Have
Day 6: Using One Classic Water Glass
Day 7: Napkin Options for Summer Entertaining
Day 8: When You Feel Like Canceling the Party
Day 9: Leave Your Technology at the Front Door
Day 10: Candles That Enhance Good Conversation
Day 11: Serving Flavored Herb and Fruit Water
Day 12: Leafy Greens and a Tiny Bit of Agave
Day 13: Keeping Nut and Fruits and Cheeses on Hand for Easy Appetizers
Day 14: Move Your Table to a Different Space
Day 15: Greek Salad on a Stick and Getting the Kids Involved

Feel free to grab my button and share it with your readers :).

30 days of Summer Entertaining

8 comments on “Day 16: Three Lies of Perfectionism that Ruin Entertaining Moments”

  1. Pingback: Opening our homes means risk | Simple Mom

  2. Pingback: Weekend Links :: Best of 2011 — Giving Up on Perfect

  3. Pingback: Chocolate Caramel Bars - Reluctant Entertainer I Sandy Coughlin - Lifestyle, Entertaining, Food, Recipes, Hospitality and Gardening

  4. Pingback: Fire for Intimate Summer Entertaining — Reluctant Entertainer

  5. Of course you know I love this post, Sandy! I will say, though, that I’ve been thinking lately about how certain people make me so nervous because they truly are judgmental and expect perfection (or closer to it than I get!). I’m just not sure I want to continue hosting those particular people in my home, given the stress they cause every time they visit!

  6. This is exactly true! I decided to cast off this lie that weighed me down for years and just have fun with the people who come to our home. We had a baby shower this weekend and yes, there were certainly things that I could have done differently or that did not go right, but I did not say I thing, I just smiled and kept right on going.

    And everyone said what a great time they had, how wonderful everything was, and even what a gracious hostess I was (which really made me laugh inside! Totally the Lord, not me)

    Nobody commented on what went wrong – I don’t think they even noticed.

  7. “Believing the lie of perfectionism. . . .” Isn’t this just exactly the problem that so many of us have? Thank you for speaking the truth here and encouraging us to get past these old lies!

    Want to come over for dinner? It won’t be perfect, but we’ll have fun! :)

  8. I am so glad I found your site, your words are so true for me!! I am loving this series, and I do plan to do some casual summer entertaining and not stress myself or my family out in the process!!!! Those photos are gorgeous!!

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