Warm Connections {Day 5}: How to Find Contentment

How to find contentment? Warmer connections come not when we’re constantly re-doing and looking for “more,” but when we have a deep sense of contentment.

My husband and I walked up the pathway to knock on the door of a beautiful home in old East Medford, in southern Oregon.

We heard the laughter in the backyard, and saw through the window people mingling in the back of the house. So we walked in …

Warmer connections come the minute you walk into a home. I know, because I felt it. And the hostess wasn’t even there to greet us.

As I glanced around at the cozy furniture, warn and comfy, the pictures that lined the walls saying “family,” the grand piano in the corner, the old hardwood floors, I thought to myself: Contentment.

I’m not sure how to explain the way I felt, except when the hostess walked around the corner to greet us, with very little make-up on, striking red hair in her 60s with red-lined lips and a killer smile, it came to me again: Contentment.

We were attendeding my friend’s 65th birthday party. My husband and I (in our late 40s) were surrounded by people 20+ years older than us. But these women all had a “calm” to themselves.

I think they’ve been where most of us are today, and are now more mature. They know what counts, what matters, who they are, and they’re not distracted by discontentment.

Discontentment. Not being happy with what you have.

Discontentment. A joy-buster to hospitality.

Discontentment. A robber of friendships.

Discontentment. A distraction and time-waster.

Discontentment. It sometimes drives a wedge between ourselves and our husbands.

Discontentment. A stealer of who we can be to our families and others.

This gorgeous red-haired woman has had the same furniture in her house for 30+ years, and the sense of family history just contributed to the contentedness of the atmosphere.

Even though I don’t know her well, I told her how much I loved her house. That it was so homey and comfortable … and very classy. She then proceeded to tell me that years ago they bought their house for their kids. Many of their other friends were buying and building “up on the hill,” but they wanted to be close to schools, town … they didn’t want flashy. They wanted simple and easy.

I’m sure she had many opportunities to “re-do” or “re-design” her house, or to jump on board with the latest and the greatest.

And yet, you felt “pure class” when you walked through their front door.

I think she figured it out early in life. She knew who she was.

She knew what was important to her.

She knew how to follow the trendher trend. A trend that brings peace of mind, choosing your own style, using what you have, incorporating family, not keeping up with The Joneses.

The trend that brings contentment.

Warmer connections come not when we’re constantly re-doing and looking for “more.”

Warmer connections come when we are content with what we have, who we are, and using it all for good.

Do you struggle with contentment and how do fight against it?

If you missed the previous days to 31 Day to Warm Connections …
Day 1 (and 700 31 Day Bloggers): Secret Ingredient to Warmer Connections
Day 2: Bringing the Beauty of Autumn to Your Table
Day 3: Multi-Generational Pear Applesauce
Day 4: Canning Suncrest Peaches with a Friend

How to Find Contentment  at Reluctant Entertainer

23 comments on “Warm Connections {Day 5}: How to Find Contentment”

  1. Pingback: Dreaming of Autumn Guests | Reluctant Entertainer

  2. Pingback: Ho to Fight Discontentment | reluctantentertainer.com Reluctant Entertainer I Sandy Coughlin - Lifestyle, Entertaining, Food, Recipes, Hospitality and Gardening

  3. Oh, and was the picture you posted above, from the woman’s house that you described? Just curious.

  4. Amen, to that! I can sense your beauty and contentment coming through your words. You’ve really hit the key. I feel the same way, about each of the phrases in your definition.

  5. Pingback: 31 Days of Warm Connections - Reluctant Entertainer I Sandy Coughlin - Lifestyle, Entertaining, Food, Recipes, Hospitality and Gardening

  6. Pingback: Letting Others Know You Care - Reluctant Entertainer I Sandy Coughlin - Lifestyle, Entertaining, Food, Recipes, Hospitality and Gardening

  7. It is so fitting for me to read this post today. I have had to come to terms with a few friendship disappointments recently. Writing about it really helped. But it wasn’t as helpful as listening to my own inner voice. My greatest strength comes from within me. I just need to remember that and stop letting external factors derail my contentment.

  8. Pingback: 31 Days to Joyfully Thrive: Stumbles and Links

  9. Wow – this is beautiful. And I think we all need to find that contentment ourselves. Sure gives me a lift to read this.

  10. Oh Sandy! I just love this post. I am into my 50’s now and just last week a friend and I were commenting on how we are both content with our lives these days. After all these years, we both realized that we have learned to focus on the preciousness of our relationships with friends and family and not on what we have or don’t have, how we look, etc…and not worrying about the state of our homes – instead focusing on whether or not our homes feel welcoming, comfy, and cozy…even if a bit cluttered! :-)



  11. Wonderful post Sandy! I have just recently come to the realization that I would much rather be “content” with what we have, rather than constantly searching for the newest, the lastest, the greatest. I found it didn’t matter if we had all those things, because something new ALWAYS comes along. I love the story you shared, such a sweet one. And yes, she figured it out early on.

  12. Great post! Love following the 31 days of October. It’s so much fun to be a part of it.

  13. I needed this post today.

    We’ve lived in our fixer upper home for 12 years now with one project after another. Seems I’m always struggling to be content right where we are.

    I should just start making this house a home without all the fluff of re-doing stuff.

  14. I don’t know you, but have been following along in your “31 days” posts.

    Thanks for this post, esp! I needed these words today. Living in a tiny place with growing children is . . . challenging! And I often find myself expressing discontentment or frustration. Your words were a good reminder that a beautiful home isn’t so much about what we have, but who I am.

  15. I SOO want to have this sense of warmer connections in my house as people enter. I have a ways to go, but I’m loving reading your blog!! Thanks for sharing!!

  16. Contentment….wonderful post. In my younger years I may have had a moment or two of dis- content
    and every-once in awhile now if I see something out in blog land to die for =)…then I just have to remind myself….life is good and I’m blessed.
    I love it when my Grandchildren visit and say things like- Grammer {that’s what they call me} I what to stay here forever…or thanks for the bubble room…or smile real big and give me a hug when they see their own personal art hanging on the walls. My home and life is about my family….that’s what contentment is to me. Family.
    Thanks for sharing this wonderful post today- truly!

  17. I think I do fight with it a wee little bit, but not nearly as much as I used it. I keep I little mantra in my head “I am satisfied with what I have. I don’t need to “keep up” with anyone”. It works for me. We are always working on some project or another in my house, but we do it at our own pace and we enjoy the time we spend together working on projects.

    You have also been a great inspiration Sandy. I really mean that!

  18. Hi Sandy – I’ve been following your blog through “31 Days” and am really enjoying it. Contentment – in my mind it is being happy with what you have, not searching for the next thing. Being connected to people not things. And being thankful for the small gifts in life. Finally after spending my 30’s and 40’s “searching”, I’m content with being a home maker, a wife, a grandmother – not strikingly beautiful, not thin as a rake, not rich – just content. It feels good.

  19. hi sandy! so so loving your series. and this is such a good reminder for someone who is trying to set up a home – that being ‘on trend’ is only important if it’s ‘your trend’! thanks!

  20. I’m content and frankly I love that word. Often we are asked if we are happy. Happy is the opposite of sad to me – and kind of “special occasion” word. I don’t spend all my time in the realm of happy: nor (fortunately) sad. Content fits me like a comfortable old cardigan.

    Of course, like the women at the party, I’m more than 20 years older than you :-)


  21. What a sweet story & so true….. It’s a shame that it takes us so long to realize and value what is truly important. When we stop worrying about things that truly don’t matter and we enjoy just being ourselves…. it’s then that people are drawn to us. Great post Sandy and great reminder! Have a super day….

  22. Thank you for that beautiful post. I needed that! Because of problems with health, I’ve been struggling with this lately.
    Your post is beautifully written and says just what I needed to hear. I’ve starred it so I can re-visit it often.

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