Warm Connections {Day 26}: When Your Heart Calls You Home
“Things in life are always changing and shifting. In order to grow, we must change also, and our commitments must change to match the changes happening in our lives.”-Joyce Meyer
It was hard hitting “send,” but I knew I needed to do it.
I emailed Sarah Mae to let her know my heart was torn in coming to Relevant this weekend. My decision didn’t have anything to do with anyone else or the conference itself, I just knew where I needed to be … my heart was calling me “to be home.”
Sarah’s reply was so gracious, kind, and understanding: I think you are a wise woman and you will never regret maintaining integrity with your family.
And then I emailed my friends, Ann, Tsh, and Melissa. I needed to know that I was doing the right thing.
All confirmed responses, but it was still hard.
Too many distractions, too much noise, it was time for me to stay home after a busy month of travels (all beautiful, incredible experiences).
I’m a mom of 3 teens, and although I’d say we have very self-sufficient kids (yes, they do their own laundry and cook)–one in college, one a senior heading to college, the third a freshman in high school–I’m still the driver, the banker, the scheduler, soccer games to attend, violin lessons, deadlines and house duties to manage.
I believe in “you will simplify when you prioritize.”
When I originally said “yes” to coming to Relevant to be a speaker, close to a year ago, I didn’t realize how busy this season would be. I’m also blessed to volunteer my time for my husband’s work, which God is doing an amazing work in right now.
Life is full and good, and I am blessed. But I don’t like to be hurried, I want to put my heart into my commitments, and I don’t want to feel anxious.
“Anxious people are always trying to live ahead of where they currently are.” –Joyce Meyer
“The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is, on the contrary, born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else–we are the busiest people in the world.” –Eric Hoffer
Warm connections come when we follow our hearts and listen to the still small voice, when we know ourselves well and don’t go outside of what God enables us to do.
I’ll be home for my 2 kids’ varsity soccer games (and my husband’s – he’s the boys’ coach), my daughter’s first homecoming dance, and other meaningful family “things” that will occupy my time and keep me busy, I’m sure.
For the women (sisters, many who I’ve met, many who I was so looking forward to meeting) at Relevant this weekend, know that my heart is also with you, as you’ll be encouraged, challenged, and inspired. I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Have you ever given up important activities for “home?”
Get caught up, Days 1-25 of 31 Days of Warm Connections, HERE.
Hello and welcome to my home and table!
I’m Sandy—lover of food, family, cooking, THE BIG BOARD, travel, and bringing people together. Through great recipes and connection around the table, we become better, stronger, and more courageous people. Feasting on Life is real, and every time we do it, we grow a little more. Read more...
BRAVO! And that’s all I have to say.
I do have regrets, now that I am retired. There is a quote that sums it up (not sure exact words)…”Do not be too busy making a living and forget to make a life”. I do feel like I was there and spent quality and quanity time with my children, but I did forego friends and other family members for work. Now, that I have retired, I can see that and really emphasize the importance of family and friends over work.
Thank you for your blog and its words regarding life in general. You cause me to think about my life, and how to improve.
we’ve been staying in recently – partly because we’re aware of what we’re spending and partly because it feels right to be digging into our marriage. a friend and i were recently talking about how wonderful it is when life simplifies a little – there are seasons for being busy and that can be very very good. and sometimes there are seasons for pulling back and re-establishing healthy patterns and loving on your family – i admire your courage to put your family first!
I have enjoyed coming to your blog from time to time – and was so impressed by your decision to listen to God’s promptings, and to prioritize your time according to how He showed you. So important – thanks for the example you are to others.
As a homeschooler, we have many opportunities to commit to outside activities, but this semester I just felt the need to “stay home” more than those commitments would allow, so we dropped most of them. I don’t think time spent at home is wasted, and I think valuable things happen when children and parents have the little bit of ease that intentionally “being home” provides.
It encourages me to see you doing this even though your kids are older. I find that as mine approach the teen years, they need me more than ever, and in more taxing(for me) ways. Thanks for setting an inspiring example!
~april
Hi Sandy,
What a wonderful post. It sounds like you definitely made the right decision. Choosing to put family first is always a good thing. :-). You have given your husband and children an amazing gift by being present in their lives. It is the most selfless thing a person can do…to be their for others. :-)
Over the years, I have had to choose between important activities and home…and what I have learned is that I never go wrong when I choose home. :-)
When I found out I was pregnant (at 40!), making the choice to end my legal career and become a stay-at-home mom was the best choice I ever made. It meant a major change in lifestyle but it was the best change ever! :-). But over time, being a mom, I found that there were times I would get frantic and start over scheduling us or committing to too many things that took us away from the home. There was a sense of frenzy in the air rather than the feeling of peace that one should feel in their home. I wasn’t creating a a haven for my family. As the years passed, I got better about scaling back but I didn’t really get serious about it until I got a wake-up call.
A number of years ago, I found out that I have a very rare blood disease. I was shocked. But it made me realize what is important in life and I really scaled back. I have a great doc, and take very good care of myself, and am confident I will live a long time. I have great health and am symptom free. I credit this to the power of prayer and my loving and supportive family. But to be sure that I do not over tax myself or my family…and to make sure that I always put family first…I follow these priorities and one rule…
My priorities…
1. Pray daily to strengthen my relationship with God.
2. Focus on caring for my family by slowing down and enjoy living in the moment with them.
3. Give myself all the time needed to properly cook for my family so that I can provide nourishing meals for them and me.
4. Visit my aging parents regularly.
And my 1 rule…
Carefully evaluate any future endeavors based on the four priorities listed above. Learn to say “No”…nicely. :-) This is the best advice I ever gave myself.
Thanks for the great job you are doing with this month of wonderful posts!!! I find you so inspiring. :-)
Love and God Bless,
Mary
PS…Ack! Sorry for such a long post…I got carried away…LOL!
Good, good, for you Sandy. To listen to your own heart. For your almost-adult children to see how your align your priorities is a huge demonstration of your love for them. Our children do not want to hear words from us. They learn far more from how we live our daily lives. Enjoy those soccer games!!!
Sandy,
I was looking forward to meeting in person this weekend at Relevant but I want to thank you for your honesty and courage “to be home”.
I love that you chose to “be present” in your family’s activities. That is a wonderful, loving gift.
Is it selfish of me to be glad that you didn’t go? I couldn’t go either, so at least now I didn’t miss you too. ;-)
On a more serious note, I agree: family first. Knowing when to say when is an extremely difficult skill.