Warm Connections {Day 26}: When Your Heart Calls You Home
“Things in life are always changing and shifting. In order to grow, we must change also, and our commitments must change to match the changes happening in our lives.”-Joyce Meyer
It was hard hitting “send,” but I knew I needed to do it.
I emailed Sarah Mae to let her know my heart was torn in coming to Relevant this weekend. My decision didn’t have anything to do with anyone else or the conference itself, I just knew where I needed to be … my heart was calling me “to be home.”
Sarah’s reply was so gracious, kind, and understanding: I think you are a wise woman and you will never regret maintaining integrity with your family.
And then I emailed my friends, Ann, Tsh, and Melissa. I needed to know that I was doing the right thing.
All confirmed responses, but it was still hard.
Too many distractions, too much noise, it was time for me to stay home after a busy month of travels (all beautiful, incredible experiences).
I’m a mom of 3 teens, and although I’d say we have very self-sufficient kids (yes, they do their own laundry and cook)–one in college, one a senior heading to college, the third a freshman in high school–I’m still the driver, the banker, the scheduler, soccer games to attend, violin lessons, deadlines and house duties to manage.
I believe in “you will simplify when you prioritize.”
When I originally said “yes” to coming to Relevant to be a speaker, close to a year ago, I didn’t realize how busy this season would be. I’m also blessed to volunteer my time for my husband’s work, which God is doing an amazing work in right now.
Life is full and good, and I am blessed. But I don’t like to be hurried, I want to put my heart into my commitments, and I don’t want to feel anxious.
“Anxious people are always trying to live ahead of where they currently are.” –Joyce Meyer
“The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is, on the contrary, born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else–we are the busiest people in the world.” –Eric Hoffer
Warm connections come when we follow our hearts and listen to the still small voice, when we know ourselves well and don’t go outside of what God enables us to do.
I’ll be home for my 2 kids’ varsity soccer games (and my husband’s – he’s the boys’ coach), my daughter’s first homecoming dance, and other meaningful family “things” that will occupy my time and keep me busy, I’m sure.
For the women (sisters, many who I’ve met, many who I was so looking forward to meeting) at Relevant this weekend, know that my heart is also with you, as you’ll be encouraged, challenged, and inspired. I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Have you ever given up important activities for “home?”
Get caught up, Days 1-25 of 31 Days of Warm Connections, HERE.
Hello and welcome to my home and table!
I’m Sandy—lover of food, family, cooking, THE BIG BOARD, travel, and bringing people together. Through great recipes and connection around the table, we become better, stronger, and more courageous people. Feasting on Life is real, and every time we do it, we grow a little more. Read more...
As women I think we all too often we over commit ourselves and then are so afraid to offend or disappoint by simply saying ” No, I can’t this time.” It’s always been assuring to me to know my friends face the same everyday dilemmas and my tendency to always feel guilty is eased by their true understanding. I think you summed it up for me with these words:
I believe in “you will simplify when you prioritize.”
Wise words, I will try to adhere to, Sandy.
Good post; great decision!
Your motivation is right and consistent with God’s will for mothers to be keepers at home. Not that they must serve exclusively at home, but that is the priority. It sounds like you listened to the Holy Spirit, though obedience is sometimes difficult. You know, choosing between a good thing and an even better thing.
P. S. Do be careful and discerning when reading Joyce Meyer. (or any author, for that matter.) Test everything in light of scripture. She has been known to twist scripture and take it out of context. “Test everything; hold fast to what is good.” :-)
You will never regret spending more time with your kids. They are gone before you know it.
Well, I was never lined up to speak (ha), but I passed up the chance months ago, for similar reasons. I just had a hunch. Fast forward and we just moved a few weeks ago (had no idea all those months ago that it would happen NOW, of course) and I’m so thankful that I heard God’s voice when it was time to make that call. He is so good to us! (But I’m still a little bummed about missing out. Just a little.) :) Have a great, slow weekend. I’ll be doing the same!
I agree – you will never regret it for a moment – that ministry of motherhood requires flexibility and commitment. God often calls us to say no to even good things, so we can focus on the Greater things He has for us. I’m not going to Relevant either – not because I didn’t want to or didn’t have the opportunity, but because I know it’s what’s best for me & my family in this moment. Reading this right now made so much sense for me, so thank you for sharing. xoxo Hoping we can plan to get together sometime!
Yes, absolutely. I think most women/moms/wives probably have at one time or another. And those who haven’t probably have regrets about it. It’s so easy to become encumbered with “God’s work,” that we often forget our families are just that … God’s work. I heard a minister say one time that no matter how often you minister to other people, if you’re neglecting your family to do it God is not pleased. I have to agree with that.
Yes. I sold my ticket to blogher food last spring. It was so hard. I wanted to be there so so so bad. But I knew that I needed to be home with my kiddos. I have never regretted staying home. It’s where my first and most important job is. There will be other conferences these years with our children are fleeting. Many Blessings to You!
Yes, Sandy…you certainly did the right thing! I have never regretted the times that I have put my family first and even now that they are grown and live away from our home, I still try to put them first as well as my grandchildren….love them all so much and this is one way that they can truly see it. It is the same with my husband….he loves it when I go run errands with him and just hang out. In the world’s eyes I suppose I don’t accomplish much but in our home….it speaks of love. Thanks for your post today.
‘Anxious people are always trying to live ahead of where they currently are.” -Joyce Meyer
Wow…did that one hit home! Like a major sucker punch, truth be told. I have been running around like a mad woman the past few weeks, mainly because I know what lies in the months ahead (I have one applying to college, one graduating in December from college). Sad thing is, I am missing the here and now, and am stressed to the max. This was just what I needed to hear. It’s time to face each day as it comes, rather than stress about the days ahead.
Sandy, good for you for stopping long enough to listen to your heart! While you won’t be attending the conference, you have made an impact on many just by the choice you made.
More often than not.
Glad that everyone is where they need to be but I will miss meeting you all!
Sandy… My heart called me “home” from Relevant also.,, I had my ticket in hand,, ever since last March,,, and had to e-mail them also to give up my ticket last weekend. Same as you,,,, my heart just called me home. I was so very comforted by reading your post,,, I had been 2nd Guessing my decision, and finally knew a peace as soon as I made it.
I will missed having hearing you and learning from your wisdom also, but know that someday.. again,, more opportunities will arise.
Blessings to you!
September
I’ll miss meeting you, but I know you’ll have peace being where you feel called. I feel torn about going tonight to volunteer or going to a Harvest Party. Funny I should read your post when I did. Thanks for sharing your heart!
Oh Sandy, you made the right decision. I will miss meeting you and learning from you, but that will happen at a better time. Much love!
You did the right thing! Listening as God nudges your heart with His best is the only way to be. You can’t lose!
~Adrienne~
BRAVO! And that’s all I have to say.
I do have regrets, now that I am retired. There is a quote that sums it up (not sure exact words)…”Do not be too busy making a living and forget to make a life”. I do feel like I was there and spent quality and quanity time with my children, but I did forego friends and other family members for work. Now, that I have retired, I can see that and really emphasize the importance of family and friends over work.
Thank you for your blog and its words regarding life in general. You cause me to think about my life, and how to improve.
we’ve been staying in recently – partly because we’re aware of what we’re spending and partly because it feels right to be digging into our marriage. a friend and i were recently talking about how wonderful it is when life simplifies a little – there are seasons for being busy and that can be very very good. and sometimes there are seasons for pulling back and re-establishing healthy patterns and loving on your family – i admire your courage to put your family first!
I have enjoyed coming to your blog from time to time – and was so impressed by your decision to listen to God’s promptings, and to prioritize your time according to how He showed you. So important – thanks for the example you are to others.
As a homeschooler, we have many opportunities to commit to outside activities, but this semester I just felt the need to “stay home” more than those commitments would allow, so we dropped most of them. I don’t think time spent at home is wasted, and I think valuable things happen when children and parents have the little bit of ease that intentionally “being home” provides.
It encourages me to see you doing this even though your kids are older. I find that as mine approach the teen years, they need me more than ever, and in more taxing(for me) ways. Thanks for setting an inspiring example!
~april
Hi Sandy,
What a wonderful post. It sounds like you definitely made the right decision. Choosing to put family first is always a good thing. :-). You have given your husband and children an amazing gift by being present in their lives. It is the most selfless thing a person can do…to be their for others. :-)
Over the years, I have had to choose between important activities and home…and what I have learned is that I never go wrong when I choose home. :-)
When I found out I was pregnant (at 40!), making the choice to end my legal career and become a stay-at-home mom was the best choice I ever made. It meant a major change in lifestyle but it was the best change ever! :-). But over time, being a mom, I found that there were times I would get frantic and start over scheduling us or committing to too many things that took us away from the home. There was a sense of frenzy in the air rather than the feeling of peace that one should feel in their home. I wasn’t creating a a haven for my family. As the years passed, I got better about scaling back but I didn’t really get serious about it until I got a wake-up call.
A number of years ago, I found out that I have a very rare blood disease. I was shocked. But it made me realize what is important in life and I really scaled back. I have a great doc, and take very good care of myself, and am confident I will live a long time. I have great health and am symptom free. I credit this to the power of prayer and my loving and supportive family. But to be sure that I do not over tax myself or my family…and to make sure that I always put family first…I follow these priorities and one rule…
My priorities…
1. Pray daily to strengthen my relationship with God.
2. Focus on caring for my family by slowing down and enjoy living in the moment with them.
3. Give myself all the time needed to properly cook for my family so that I can provide nourishing meals for them and me.
4. Visit my aging parents regularly.
And my 1 rule…
Carefully evaluate any future endeavors based on the four priorities listed above. Learn to say “No”…nicely. :-) This is the best advice I ever gave myself.
Thanks for the great job you are doing with this month of wonderful posts!!! I find you so inspiring. :-)
Love and God Bless,
Mary
PS…Ack! Sorry for such a long post…I got carried away…LOL!
Good, good, for you Sandy. To listen to your own heart. For your almost-adult children to see how your align your priorities is a huge demonstration of your love for them. Our children do not want to hear words from us. They learn far more from how we live our daily lives. Enjoy those soccer games!!!
Sandy,
I was looking forward to meeting in person this weekend at Relevant but I want to thank you for your honesty and courage “to be home”.
I love that you chose to “be present” in your family’s activities. That is a wonderful, loving gift.
Is it selfish of me to be glad that you didn’t go? I couldn’t go either, so at least now I didn’t miss you too. ;-)
On a more serious note, I agree: family first. Knowing when to say when is an extremely difficult skill.