How Do You Get People to Commit: Save the Date!
Through my 31-Days to Stress-Free Entertaining series, one reader had a good point when she asked me if there is a “good time” to have a party?
With the holidays here now, people are really busy. I know, because we’ve had a hard time getting some dates on the calendar with our friends.
For a group event, do you just pick a date, and then pray that everyone can make it?
Dinner Dates – one family
Choosing a dinner date for one family is easy. Pick 3 dates that work for you, and then give the family the options and let them pick what works for them.Dinner Dates – several families
Again, pick several dates that work for you. It may take several emails or calls to nail down “the date,” but most the time it all comes together.Party Dates – event for many
I’ve chosen a date, and then verified with a handful of people, asking if they could make it. Once I knew that it worked for a few people, I go ahead with the additional invitations. Some will make it, some won’t. It’s hard to find a date that works for everyone when you’re hosting a larger group.
My advice for the holidays is to choose a date EARLY, even sending out a “Save the Date” email.
I recently had a dinner party at my house that required that I know the exact attendance. I sent out an email early, with the date, and then later with all of the details. I heard back within days from those who would be attending and it all worked out beautifully.
It’s time to start thinking and planning, if you haven’t already.
Besides Thanksgiving, will you be hosting any dinners or parties in the next couple of months?
(For Thanksgiving, I’m posting a 4-part series on a Stress-Free Thanksgiving! Next week join me for Week 3. (Here is Week 1 and Week 2.)
I sent invitations to a theme dinner; a “cruise” in our dining room. I spent a lot of time decorating and planning a seafood menu and calling people who didn’t respond to the invitation. One woman had rspved that she would come and didn’t show. I called to be sure she was not in an accident, etc, and she told me she had done a lot of gardening and was happier taking a bath and putting on her pjs. I took that statement without fussing, but I called her later and told her I didn’t appreciate her not coming. I am sure I shouldn’t have said anything to her, but she defended her decision. (No, really! )Could you tell me what I should have done or said, other than promising myself never to invite her again?
one issue with party planning today is that so many people have junk mail filters on their email that they don’t always get the E-vites. make sure you follow up any electronic invite with a backup, even if it’s just sending a second personal email or posting to facebook or the like. cheers!
My husband and I host an annual “Pastor’s Open House” for our congregation. It’s a drop-in, we serve appetizers and hot drinks, and send home a small gift with each family (usually cookies or breads that my daughter and I have made). It’s our biggest event of the holidays!
I love this idea! What a wonderful way to connect.
Yes, we will be hosting! To keep it simple, we will have a few dinners, but I like appetizers and dessert evenings. It is relaxing without all the details. It usually seems people drop in and out which gives us more time to visit with our guests…which is a real treat…simple hospitality! Thank you, SANDY for the the sign. I think my heart skipped a beat when I got your e-mail!
We just choose a date and send out the invitations. We know that we cannot pick a date that everyone has open. So after a lot of years of my wife and I sitting down after a party and worrying about who did not show up and the reason why…… we decided that we would let GOD decide who would make it or not, and be happy with those who did make it knowing that this group of people are the ones that needed to be there on that day. No more what if’s, did I’s, just being grateful for those who do come and enjoy their sweet fellowship. You really never know who can or cannot make it you have to be flexible and just enjoy the moment, oh yeah and QUIT STRESSING everything will turn out fine!
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie
RSVP …..is one of my nightmares….each spring I host a Spring Event where I invite 100 people for lunch and activities….
http://andersenseven.typepad.com/whatever/spring-event-april-2010/
I always plane months ahead with save the date etc. etc….but I still have people show up saying “Oh, was I suppose to RSVP” drives me crazy {I always plane for extra because of this.}
Thanks for your tips…maybe next year will be better….I hope.
I agree with this though I find some people even if they’ve supposedly committed to make it will back out at the last minute for lesser reasons – it’s life. For a large group gathering I pick a date – ask a few I really want to make it if that works for them and then I send out the invites… or evites because it’s easier and cheaper. Plus using evites allows me to send reminder notices, requests for rsvps from those who have not given a response, etc.
I really love Darla’s idea. I had been meaning to do a monthly or bi-monthly gathering but life just got in the way from following through. Maybe my new years resolution?
An idea that has worked for me is picking a day, for instance the first Sunday in December, not a date. We host a brunch annually and after the first couple of years people start to look forward to it. I’ve even had guests ask me early on if we are doing our usual brunch so they can mark their calendar. Of course this means you have to want to make that commitment but I find it works my own planning as well. I find brunch very flexible in terms of food or numbers of guests and seems to work even when people get into the busy season.
Darla
We try to sit down and have a “hospitality plan,” so we have several weekends a month where we host a family (or more). I’m going to be hosting a cookie exchange for the wives between the two military offices in December.
I love the Save the Date. We’ve used it for several things, not just personal parties. We used it for my daughter’s annual volleyball banquet. At least they knew to set that evening aside and details would follow. I’m hosting my neighborhood Bunco group for our annual holiday party and gift swap.
My best friend is putting together her yearly Xmas party this year. We all know that every year it will be on the first Saturday in December!
I find planning an event between Christmas and New Years is often a time when many folks are available. Kids are out of school and a lot of regular activities people would have on their iPhone are dark during the last two weeks of December. I like to do a Ladies Holiday Tea at 4:00 pm in the afternoon one day. It’s reasonably inexpensive because I’m serving tea. I often have an alternative like juice or soda – but no booze. I put out my holiday baked goods. Don’t you want to get rid of all those cookies and Cranberry Orange Bread and everything else you baked earlier in the month? I’ll also make a couple savory hors doeuvre kind of little things to go with. Usually about a dozen people is nice for this kind of event.