Hospitality without Reciprocation
Keeping it short here on RE today, friends, because I’m working on my blog (behind the scenes) for a new look! Here’s a sneak peek of my new logo – and tag line. Feast on Life.
New blog design.
I can’t wait to share more – soon! There will be a much easier navagation for finding recipes. Yay.
Touchy hospitality subject.
Here’s a touchy subject to talk about, that I think many of us can relate to.
A person recently shared with me that they entertain quite a bit, but the love is never returned to them.
Which means, reciprocation doesn’t happen, or at least very often.
She told me:
Our problem is that nobody ever wants to return the favor!
Ouch!
Of course resentment kills generosity, if you end up in that place …
Heart check.
We just have to enter into hospitality with the right heart and attitude. We are doing it out of love, generosity, and to get to know people better … It’s not really about us, at all, and it’s really a check that we need to keep in balance. If my mind goes there, I stop myself. I think we’d be better off just canceling a dinner party if we have a poor attitude.
There’s something beautiful about opening your home to others. It’s a lovely, rare moment, that you may never feel or experience again.
It is a gift!
I’d love to hear your tips on keeping a right heart, when you’ve been hurt in this way?
Hello and welcome to my home and table!
I’m Sandy—lover of food, family, cooking, THE BIG BOARD, travel, and bringing people together. Through great recipes and connection around the table, we become better, stronger, and more courageous people. Feasting on Life is real, and every time we do it, we grow a little more. Read more...
We entertain a lot because we enjoy it — however, there was a time when we “felt bad” that very few friends ever reciprocated. We finally came to the realization that many people just don’t care to entertain and that we should not expect a return invite – just do what we want and enjoy it! Jesus believed in the importance of hospitality and so do we, That’s our motivation!
Right on, Cindy! You’ve got the right heart, sister! :)
We just got a house a little over a year ago and I’ve discovered I love having people over. I don’t actually care if they reciprocate. Actually, I probably prefer it if they don’t. I have some severe anxiety going on that makes going to someone else’s house difficult, at best. But having them to my house isn’t a problem. Comfort zone, maybe? Whatever it is, as long as I enjoy it I will continue to do it regardless of reciprocation.
Thanks for sharing, Christina.
I’ve just really had to learn to not have expectations on others. That I’m inviting people over because I want to be with them and not because I want an invite in return. We are not often invited to other’s homes, and I realize that our lives are busy and many of our friends lives are busy or there is maybe another underlying reason (who knows). I just don’t worry about it and when we are invited I thoroughly enjoy myself :) Two weeks ago when we had snow, our friends who live higher up than we do and have a great sledding hill invited us up for the day. We hardly ever go to their house (the busyness thing) so we took advantage of the invite.
Looks like I’m in the minority here … ;) I love the joy of hospitality, but as an introvert it’s an internal battle every time we host friends – whether it’s a large or small group. When friends don’t reciprocate I don’t worry about the reason, I’m just thankful for the time to retreat back into my shell!
When people don’t reciprocate, be it hosting, gifts, or something else, the first thing I do is ask myself what could be going on in their lives that is blocking them from it. For example, is someone dealing with a chronic illness of their own or a family member, that I don’t know about, but takes up a lot of their time? Are they facing financial difficulties and want to reciprocate but truly cannot and are not comfortable explaining?
Even if the reasons I come up with are completely wrong, it helps open my heart to the possibilities and lets me gracefully move on from a hurt by giving me perspective on the lives others live. Letting someone into your life and home isn’t a guarantee that others must reciprocate, and if you’re doing it because you think it entitles you to their time, you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Once I remember that, I am able to be grateful for the opportunities I have to include others and enrich my own life.
Good Morning! I don’t take it personally when friends don’t reciprocate. Some people just aren’t comfortable hosting dinner parties, even if it’s a small group of friends. My grandmother used to invite family and friends over all the time, so I grew up in a warm and generous atmosphere where big gatherings were the “norm”. Just think about how much joy and love your friends feel when they are invited into your home. Knowing that I’ve made my guests feel special is all the thanks I need:-)
Thanks for sharing, Debi. I love those words … warm, generous, atmosphere, big gatherings, love, joy, special. That describes so much of what life should be. Thank you!
We have friends that invite us to their house much more often than we return the favor. I REALLY am a reluctant entertainer. I don’t feel comfortable w it for many reasons. One of which is they are much better cooks than me and therefore it’s intimidating. Yet, we have other friends who are much easier to entertain and I have gotten to the point where I can do that easily. If you’re entertaining to keep track of who returns the favor…you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.
“If you’re entertaining to keep track of who returns the favor…you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.”
So totally this ^^
We have friends that invite us to their house much more often than we return the favor. I REALLY am a reluctant entertainer. I don’t feel comfortable w it for many reasons. One of which is they are much better cooks than me and therefore it’s intimidating. If you’re entertaining to keep track of who returns the favor…you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.
I just let it go when people don’t reciprocate. We love to have friends over quite often. Some people have never asked us to their house even though they are here a lot. Some friends don’t have the resources one way or another or they are just intimidated about having guests. It’s ok. :)
“Let it go” is a great motto to have, Stacey! Thanks for sharing!
I completely agree with this message!! Same thing for gift giving. Love the new look and logo!! Xo
Yes, same as gift giving, for sure. Thanks, Liz!