How to Get the Dishes Done After a Dinner Party
The meal had been served and my sisters and I jumped up to bus the salad dishes, to remove them from the table and out of the way.
It was a special dinner party for my dad as we tightly packed in 17 people around several tables pushed together to make one.
I rinsed the dishes quickly and put them in the sink, and then sat back down to enjoy the rest of the meal with my guests.
After dinner, we removed the dinner plates and served up birthday cake. But before I sat down, I quickly rinsed those plates and loaded everything into the dishwasher.
Then I hit START.
I know that everyone has their own routine for doing the dishes while entertaining.
A. Let the guests bus the dishes.
B. Only you or your spouse bus the dishes.
C. Load them in the dishwasher as you use them.
D. Only load the dishes after the meal is completely over.
E. Never do any dishes until the last guest has left.
F. Make sure every single dish is washed before you go to bed.
G. Anyone can help with the dishes after the meal.
H. Anyone can help with the dishes at any time during the meal.
I. Only load what fits in the dishwasher, put the food away, and do the rest in the morning.
I’m sure I’m forgetting a few scenarios, but here’s what I do:
I bus/load as I go. It just makes it easier. And when the last guest has left, I’ll empty the dishwasher if the cycle is complete, and start one last load, OR, finish it up in the morning. This isn’t so much out of laziness; we’re usually just so tired. We like our guests to stay as late as they want, and by the time everyone has said their good-byes, it’s usually far past our usual bedtime. It’s not a dreaded feeling, but a happy feeling of, “awww, what a great time!”
There will always be more dishes to do, but we don’t always have our friends and family close at hand.
I feel it’s more important to enjoy our guests.
After this particular party, I did 2 final loads the next morning.
I had dishes on the counter that were hand-washed, and the glasses and plates that came out of the dishwasher.
After putting everything away, my counters looked nice and fresh, like this. (That’s my “purdy” lemon tree in the far right corner.)
Do you like getting the dishes done right away, or do you leave them for later? Choosing betweein A – I (above), what is your normal routine when hosting a dinner party?
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Sandy,
Thanks for posting this. This can really make or break your time with guests.
I prefer C & G. I know how it is when at someone’s house. I always want to help because hosting meals is a lot of work. So I let guests help if they offer, this helps them feel a sense of involvement in the meal and cleanup. I also load as I go, it one takes but seconds or maybe minutes and there is less piled up later. I like having the family room and kitchen connected because I can still entertain while doing dishes and cooking.
Thanks!
This is sometimes difficult in our family because I was raised to clean up right away. So I pretty much have to sit on my hands to refrain from clearing the table and doing the dishes If this is not custom to people I am visiting. At my own home I try to get as much of the big stuff out of the way before dinner. Cook and mash potatoes put in oven proof bowl and cover, meanwhile wash out the kettle before it gets to dried on. I do that with all the kettles so they are out of the way. I hate sitting around a table full of dirty plates while visiting so the dishwasher is empty and ready to be loaded up. Its too noisey to run while company is here though. Dessert is served and we can visit without a mound of dishes waiting for me.
A helpful hint though is to put a little of your dishwasher soap in the kettle and fill with water soak 10 min and you wouldn’t believe how easy clean up is! Dawn now has a dish soap for that also and it works well too.
I used to enjoy hosting and doing it all; thoroughly taking care of my friends and family. But then things changed. You know…I broke my leg. I didn’t entertain for a year and when I started to have people over again, in order to do that…they had to help. They helped mix the salad and get it to the table, might help by grilling the steaks and often were pulled into duty to set the table. So dishes were a given.
Now that I’m better but not 100% I have had a moment of clarity. I am the entertainer; I’m the one who loves to have people here and they love to come to my home and I think eat my food. But seldom is the effort reciprocal. Not because we’re not friends but because, if I’m honest…I’m a hard act to follow and I think some people are anxious about having me over. That’s the impression a friend shared with me.
So…since I’m the one who loves to do it…and they are the ones who love to participate; I’m letting go of that notion that I have to do all of the work. I’m enjoying my guests as much when we’re cleaning up as if we were sitting around the table and I know I enjoy getting up the next day and not having hours of work ahead of me. Sometimes it takes a life challenge to put some of this into perspective; if it’s about being together…well, we can do that too. In the kitchen, washing up dishes!
We rarely do any kind of cleaning until the end or it’s over. The only time we’ll do any cleaning during a party is if we need the space.
Jill,
You bring up a very good point about helping out the host. Usually when my wife and I host the whole side of the family for Christmas they want to help so we keep doing it. We also will use plastic cups and write names on them. Paper plates and napkins are great for munchies later. When you have limitations adjust what you can do to make a party work. We have had back to back parties (my side and wife’s side christmas) to take advantage of being already set up.
This post brings up the #1 reason why I am a reluctant entertainer. It is incredibly exhausing to plan a party, clean up, prepare the food/decor, and then host the party properly – – only to have everyone jump up after a meal and take off leaving me to clean the house a second time.
It actually hurts….to put so much effort into a nice get together only to have people eat and run & leave you with a mess.
So I compromise. With “other guests” I do not expect them to clean after. But with my immediate family, I put my foot down. I will host, but they all need to pitch in (my family get togethers are 25 + people).
Fortunately my siblings got it. And it kind of became the rule no matter who among us hosts. It’s actually part of the fun. The kids like being “helpers”. A water fight migh ensue. Stories from our childhood get re-told. We fight like when we were kids about who wipes, who washes, and who puts away. And for me, it’s fun in the few days after as I find dishes put away in odd places in the cabinets or food put away differently in my fridge.
My wife does the cooking for get-togethers and I do the running and serving prep. I also wash as many kettles and cooking dishes as I can. The dishwasher is run for last time before party starts so it is empty. When meal is over we let people help clear and put away food. If time permits I have done sink of dishes and had volunteer to help dry. It is amazing the good time you can have while doing dishes. Sometimes the items that need soaking or handwashing are in the dishwasher out of sight. We have a lot of family and friends over and the house is inviting and everyone seems to want to help. I think it can be rude to turn down such help.
I’m definitely a “B” person. I prefer to do the dishes myself since: A. I don’t want to have my guests do them and B. I would rather do them myself so that they get done right and are put in the right place. I leave the after dinner entertaining to my wife and kids. :)
We are the clean and load as you go entertainers. Because our kitchen is visible from the dining room and we usually serve buffet style, it is just easier and more efficient to rinse and load as you go. We always have at least 2 loads of dishes after a party, and sometimes 3 or 4, oh how I wish we had put in 2nd dishwashers!!! It is just easier for us to keep up on the dishes, we only work a few minutes at a time in the kitchen never leaving our guests for very long, but we do like to fill up that dishwasher and get it going!!!!
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie
I love entertaining but it is frustrating sometimes when you do dishes all throughout the day while you cook and prepare for the party and then your guests leave and you just want to go to bed but are left with a counter full of dishes! I think a key is to have an empty dishwasher before your guests arrive and to at least soak serving platters/pots before going to bed that night. The time with family in friends is always worth any amount of clean up in the end!