Breaking the Comparison Cycle and Secret Fudge Sauce Frosting

My Secret Fudge Sauce Frosting for cupcakes? Take a jar of Trader Joe’s Fudge Sauce, warm in the microwave, and spread over the cupcakes for frosting.

Breaking the Comparison Cycle |

Yesterday I made chocolate cupcakes, scraped the bowl, licked the spoon, and fell into a sugar-coated trap.

The trap of comparison. Would my cupcakes turn out, and look as good as Bridget or Amanda’s?

I started thinking about those expert cupcake makers, and what my little chocolate homemade-looking mini cakes would look like.

What started as a happy little gesture of making cupcakes for my Dad’s birthday, turned into a whiny session (in my mind).

Secret Fudge Sauce Frosting

I started comparing my baking skills with others who do it so well.

But by the time I finished scraping and licking the spoon, I stopped myself. Whew!

It’s just what we women do. We forget to live in the moment.

There will always be others who take better photos, bake the perfect cupcake, come up with beautiful recipes … who are skinnier, entertain better, are more beautiful, who seem happier, who get more opportunities in life.

There’s always something, and we also fall into the trap of assuming, when we don’t always have our facts straight and are not seeing the big picture clearly. (Who has a perfect life? No one).

The Secret to Fudge Sauce Frosting

We need to break the cycle.

I think so much of our “comparing” has to do with the media, social media, and our insecurity in general. And not being secure in who we’ve been created to be. It’s a dangerous trap that causes depression, stress, and envy. (I hate that word.)

Learn to embrace the moment.

So I embraced my cupcakes, I happily took them over to my Dad’s, having a couple myself, and I gave myself a pat on the back.

Good job, Sandy! You stopped comparing yourself to others, you were confident in your cupcakes, that they were “good enough” and tasted quite yummy, and that you actually came up with a killer frosting for the topping.

The Secret to Fudge Sauce Frosting

So, what made my cupcakes so delicious with the most creamy, chocolatey frosting?

I took a jar of Trader Joe’s Fudge Sauce, warmed it in the microwave for about 30 seconds, and spread that jar of GOODNESS all over those cupcakes!

For those who didn’t know my quick and easy secret, they were raving over the frosting.

The Secret to Fudge Sauce Frosting

Who would have known? My new quick and easy frosting was so good, and turned out so well; it gave me confidence in my dessert-making, for sure.

No more comparing.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, or the negative side of what’s bugging you or that you don’t have control over, work on what you do have, and be grateful.

Gratitude changes everything.

Do you fall into the comparison trap, and how do you get yourself out?

The Secret to Fudge Sauce Frosting
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Secret Fudge Sauce Frosting


  • Prepared cupcakes
  • 1 jar fudge sauce


  • 1. Warm in the microwave for 30 seconds.
  • 2. Frost the cupcakes. Let sit for about 20 minutes.
  • 3. Serve!

22 comments on “Breaking the Comparison Cycle and Secret Fudge Sauce Frosting”

  1. Pingback: 10 Things In My Fridge: Reluctant Entertainer

  2. This is such a great post, and I love that frosting! So simple – I love that fudge sauce, but have never thought to use it in that way. Totally trying it!

  3. I am so guilty of this. Such wonderful reminders.

  4. Love this it’s so true. Thanks for sharing your heart today!

  5. Sandy—-I love your words and REALLY love your quick frosting tip. I had a conversation with a friend at the pool tonight about gratitude. That is a concept I try to embrace daily. Sometimes all I can change is my attitude so I choose to be thankful, happy and gracious.

    Thank you for your words and your inspiring cooking!!!

  6. That quote is amazing. :)

    I too do this ALL the time, I am actually doing it right now well making a cake. I need to stop all the comparing!

    But really, these cupcakes look to do for. Fudge sauce for frosting is genius!

  7. I love you Sandy! Amen to all of it! Especially the fudge sauce covered brownies! I had to take the month of December away from social media so I could better enjoy my family and celebrate the blessings of Christmas with out comparing. Such easy access to what everyone is doing makes not comparing hard.
    thanks for sharing!

    • Good work, Sheila! I’ve had to do that, too. This life takes true discipline in many areas. It’s always so good when we recognize that we need it. Happy New Year, friend!

  8. It’s so sad but we all compare ourselves to others at some time. I don’t compare (or try not to) very much at all any more. I have come to the understanding that we all live differently and we all have different strengths & weaknesses. Each of us have something different to bring to the table and we should embrace that. I understand it is easier said than done at though.

    • Good words, Brenda. I agree. I’m 50 now and do it WAY less, thank goodness. HA HA. Lessons in life … it still comes back to gratitude for me that really turns my heart around.

  9. For a girl who is afraid of entertaining, since the young age [imagine a 10 year old – crying at her party because she was worried not everyone was having fun], you seem to hit on point of the reluctance and fear factors that keep me from doing it. I am gradually doing better – getting married has helped, since my husband is an INCREDIBLE help in the kitchen, home, etc.

    But so often I will do something simple and still get carried away with comparisons. This past October I had a meltdown in our kitchen over frosting that wasn’t working for a cake for my friends birthday. My husband gathered this “You are worried that if the frosting isn’t perfect, ____ is going to think that you don’t care…or love her less…? Because she made you a cute cake..” When he put it that way it sounded pathetic, but I nodded in my sobs. How quickly he reminded me that (1) it tasted great (2) we shouldn’t be concerned about comparing ourselves to others or predicting others feelings.

    The end result was she loved the cake.

  10. Ohhh I totally feel you. You know what’s funny? While we’re comparing ourselves to someone else, you never know who’s comparing themselves to you (even if you think you’re imperfect.) We’d all be better off if we were all ourselves and happy with that. At least that’s the goal! When I find myself in the comparison trap I remind myself of the quote “comparison is the thief of joy.” How true?! But I don’t want to lose any joy so I’m going to stop comparing. And then I’m going to make these cupcakes : ) Thanks for all that you do!

  11. I’d eat one of your cupcakes any day! Actually I would probably eat 3 :)
    It’s so easy to compare… such a crazy trap that you can do to yourself…
    But you’re one of a kind, my friend! Know that! xoxo

  12. I do this all. the. time. So often that I have almosted stopped blogging a dozen times because I will never be as good. I am trying to learn and trying to improve and looking back over the last six years I certainly can see improvement. It is just hard to silence that inner critic!

    What helps silence that mean critic is when after a large dinner party my friends are asking for the recipes or my husband and children declare “this is the best …… ever!” It makes me realize I am going good work even if I can’t photograph it well. :)

  13. I catch myself doing this all of the time…it’s so easy with all of these beautiful blogs and PiNTEREST!!!

    I go back and look at this pinned quote quite a bit:

    And, um, sign me up for cookies frosted with fudge sauce!

  14. “Gratitude changes everything.” That needs to be stenciled on a wall. I’d be happy to eat a cupcake while contemplating the wisdom.


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