Why I’m Less Reluctant to Entertain this Week


The definition is fascinating: Lack of enthusiasm; unwillingness or lack of enthusiasm.

Or offering resistance or opposing.

Reluctant is having reservations about doing something you were asked to do.

Tie that definition together with entertaining, and I think that describes a lot of people. Reluctant Entertainers.

Not willing to take the extra step, go the extra mile, put our fears aside, stop worrying about silly things – and open WIDE our front doors to hospitality.

Dealing with the “P” word straight on. Perfectionism. Realizing that it will haunt and stifle God-given gifts of love and friendship.

Am I a reluctant entertainer? At times, yes.

I think even the most seasoned hostess deals with feelings of “reservation” from time to time.

Did I invite the right group of people? Can I pull it off? Even when serving the food, I’m wondering if my guests will like it? Is the music okay? The list goes on and on.

I’m sure many of you can relate. It never stops … wondering and worrying.

Some people are so reluctant, they STOP at the thought of entertaining.

This week, once again, I’m pushing past my fears and am hosting another dinner party in my home. (Don’t these colors remind you of the the 70s? They were my mother’s entertaining colors!)

Why am I a little bit less reluctant this time, with such a large group, than I was at this party? (I wrote about dinner party barriers, here.)

Because I just hosted the same size group 2 months ago, and am also giving myself many pep talks. It’s good to focus on the right things, when entertaining.

Those “right things” I hope will help you today, if you struggle with being a reluctant entertainer, especially with the holidays ahead and possible entertaining moments that could bring your family and acquaintances joy, if you’re willing to put your reluctance aside.

Are you a reluctant entertainer?

1. Entertaining is like a muscle. The more you “do it,” the easier it becomes.

2. It gives your courage to know you’ve already pulled off one dinner party (it doesn’t matter the size, it could be 4 people or 14 people), so that you can do it again.

3. The more familiar you are with something, like a hosting routine, the easier it becomes.

4. Think about what made your last event successful and do those things again! Take the steps to organize and plan and prepare so you will enjoy yourself.

5. Remind yourself of the good memories, the looks on your guests’ faces, or the comments that they made, comments of pure enjoyment, because YOU put love and effort into bringing them all together.

6. Embrace your imperfections. Set the bar hight, but give yourself permission to mess up, fix what you need to, and move on, without beating yourself up over things that don’t happen perfectly.

7. “Fun is expensive, but happiness is free.” Live by this concept, that joy comes from within, and your focus will change from the “dinner party details” to the people coming to your home. Be joyful and learn to embrace the moment and not focus on the things that are not perfect (things that the guests won’t even know).

8. Put your expectations aside. You have a wrong understanding of “hospitality” if you have to set a standard where you’re trying to impress because you think your guests expect it. Guests rarely have the same expectations that you do.

I’m excited to show you more about what’s ahead this week. (By the way, I planted these beautiful Flowering Cabbage (Pigeon White) this week. They last through the winter months and right now they were only $1.49 each at our local Grange! Can’t beat that for filling the pots for Fall/Winter!)

Entertaining in Oregon during the Autumn season …. swoon! The best!

Reluctance aside, it’s happening, and it’s good.

And I’m going to enjoy every moment of being with my wonderful guests.

Do you struggle with being a reluctant entertainer? What aspects would you like more help with?

12 comments on “Why I’m Less Reluctant to Entertain this Week”

  1. Pingback: Day twenty-five: We’re in this together | Amy Reasoner

  2. Wonderful tips, and much needed! I probably should try to relax once all is complete and join the party! I tend to be a “helicopter” entertainer! ;)

  3. Pingback: Harry & David's Wild Mushroom Leek Soup for a Crowd | reluctantentertainer.com Reluctant Entertainer I Sandy Coughlin - Lifestyle, Entertaining, Food, Recipes, Hospitality and Gardening

  4. Pingback: A Fresh Perspective on the Home | reluctantentertainer.com Reluctant Entertainer I Sandy Coughlin - Lifestyle, Entertaining, Food, Recipes, Hospitality and Gardening

  5. While we are anything but reluctant entertainers, I love your post. It’s great to find new and fun tips about entertaining, or ways to do what you do better!

  6. Your event this week will be just as spectacular as the last. You are such a special person to open your home to others. It means so much!

  7. Your posts are always so encouraging to the hesitant ones among us. I’m still trying to figure out how to get The Man more enthused about entertaining. Any advice would be a welcomed thing. :)

  8. Thanks for sharing that even you feel reluctant to entertain sometimes. I feel that way sometimes, too, but I try to push past it. You hit the nail on the head when you said that your guests don’t expect from you what you expect from yourself…well put, Sandy! We put the pressure on ourselves, don’t we? I’m going to try to lighten up on myself as the holidays approach. I’m going to tell myself that everything doesn’t have to be “perfect” and try to enjoy myself more!

  9. Ooh, I too am a reluctant entertainer — I’ve never heard it described quite like this and I just love it. I agree that the more you have friends over, the easier it gets. And I’m going to tell myself that I’m less reluctant to entertain — sure beats me saying I’m going crazy can’t ever have peeps over why do I go through this argh! So thanks for that bright light about entertaining anxiety?!

  10. Thanks for the tips. I think my expections and expecting it to be somewhat “perfect” is what I need to work on. This go around for our Fall Gathering I am trying to relax more about stuff. So it’s a start!


  11. ooooh, i love the 8 tips! especially the last one – i feel like pushing expectations aside in all aspects of life really opens us up to more enjoyment. it’s about the journey!

  12. We seem to have a lot of teenagers in our home, but not so many adults. We recently moved five hours from home and while the kiddos have adjusted well and made lots of friends, this momma here has not done so well. So entertaining for me has been very reluctant. We used to have people over every weekend before the move, now I don’t even know where to begin anymore.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *