5 Reasons Not to Connect and Esther’s Kale Salad

This Kale Salad has delicious flavors of garlic, shallots, pinenuts, sweet red peppers, and curly kale, with a lemon juice and Parmesan cheese dressing!

Kale Sald with Sweet Red Peppers

The problem with human attraction is not knowing if it will be returned.
― Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush

Last week, two newer friends came to my house for lunch. I served my friend Esther’s Kale Salad with Spicy Sweet Red Peppers. In my mind, all week long, I thought about my commitments, list of chores, spring yard work, laundry, blogging … you name it, the “list” in my mind became overwhelming and I tried to talk myself out of the invitation I had already made.

I think we all naturally get into routines and rhythms with our families and schedules, and busyness sets in. Even though we naturally long to spend time with family and friends, and we all need encouragement, we often lose sight of what’s important. It’s natural to want to talk ourselves out of commitments, but is it okay?

5 reasons why we choose not to connect with friends:

Busyness. A demanding schedule is the biggest hindrance to getting together with those we love.

Disinterest. Sometimes, sadly, we’re just not interested in others.

Disappointment. We stop connecting when we’re hurt or others don’t reciprocate.

Neglect. We forget that relationships are eternal, the most important thing in our lives, and get distracted by the temporal.

Homes. And then there are our homes.

My house. Do I really want to clean and get ready for these two new lady friends that have “moved” into my life? Will they be checking things out?

Probably not. Mostly likely – no.

Kale Sald with Sweet Red Peppers

Kale Sald with Sweet Red Peppers

Oh, the risk that’s involved in opening our homes.

But this time I said yes.

I’m never disappointed when we invite people into our home. The best gifts in life are the relationships around us, the blessings of eating and drinking together, listening and feeling.

But we have to take a chance.

Kale Salad

For the recipe, it’s super easy. Make the dressing first and massage it into the curly kale leaves.

Allow to soak into the leaves for at least 30 mintues before serving!

Which of the 5 reasons cause you not to connect with friends?

Kale Sald with Sweet Red Peppers

Kale Sald with Sweet Red Peppers
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Esther's Kale Salad with Spicy Sweet Red Peppers

Adapted from Serious Pie. Optional to just use garlic (no onions or shallots).
Servings: 6


  • 1 bunch kale curly is best
  • 1/2 cup olive oil
  • 4 oz. onion shallot, garlic mix (I buy at Trader Joe’s)
  • 1/8 cup lemon juice
  • 1/2 cup chopped Pepperazzi Spicy Sweet Red Peppers I use Delallo brand
  • 1/2 cup shaved parmesan cheese
  • 1/2 cup pinenuts


  • Simmer onion, shallots, garlic mixture in oil for 30 minutes over very low heat. Do not brown. Cool. Add chopped peppers to the oil.
  • Add oil (with onion mixture) and lemon juice to kale, mix with hands until coated. Let sit for 30 minutes.
  • Add pine nuts and shaved Parmesan; serve.

More delicious salad recipes:

Easy Pad Thai Salad {RE}

Pimiento-Stuffed Three Bean Salad {RE}

Cucumber Salad Recipe with Pineapple and Cilantro {RE}

Cheeseburger Salad {Skinnytaste}

Summer Vegetable Pasta Salad {RecipeGirl}


This Kale Salad has delicious flavors of garlic, shallots, pinenuts, sweet red peppers, and curly kale, with a lemon juice and Parmesan cheese dressing!

22 comments on “5 Reasons Not to Connect and Esther’s Kale Salad”

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  4. My downfalls are always busyness and home. I truly like to entertain. But it’s hard to find the time to make it all come together and still have some down time. I find that when our schedules are more relaxed in the summer, it seems to happen more.

  5. Definitely home and busy. A group of us meet for lunch once and month…and we go out to take the “home” excuse out of the equation, but I think we’re going to start incorporating lunches at home here and there. ;) Will read all of your blog posts again before I host. ;)

  6. Home and busyiness and not focusing on the eternal are the ones I struggle with out of this list. Especially home. Trying to get it cleaned all at once and not just a little at a time. I always appreciate your encouragement to focus more on the eternal. Thank you!

  7. These colors! I love them! Such a gorgeous . Kale and bunch kale together is a winning combo!
    And the photos are stunning!

  8. 1. Too tired after long work days.
    2. (This sounds really whiney but it’s true.) I’ve aged out of any traditional life-stage groups. Single and 42 is awkward. Friend have kids from birth to college and most girlfriends are SAHM’s so their free time is during the day.
    3. I’m a clutter-bug. I don’t want to be but I am. I dream of someone coming and helping me declutter surfaces. I’m far from a hoarder (no paths in my home) but I put stuff down. Everywhere.

    No others.

  9. For me it’s business. And when we don’t have something scheduled, one of the 4 kids is sick or we need to catch up on house stuff (big things like putting the radon pump in or building the chicken coop before the chicks need to move outside). Thankfully, most of our business comes from hospitality – but it still seems there’s never enough time to spend with all the people we want to spend time with.

    • That thought goes through my mind a lot, too, Laura. Never enough time to see all the people we want to see. I just try to chip away on our list and make it happen when we can. I’m also reminded that we’re given the exact hours in the day, which helps (sort of) keep me on track. LOL. It’s all a balance, for sure! Thanks for sharing!

  10. For me it’s the messy house and having to make it look presentable for guests. I admit I’m not the best housekeeper:-)

    • Debi, can you focus on your kitchen and one room (living or dining)? Guests really don’t need to see the rest of your house. Just an idea … I often just shut my bedroom door! LOL

  11. Busy is the most common barrier. I’ve been trying to get a group together for a “murder mystery” dinner (always a blast!) since early January. There are three couples and me; we’ve had to cancel once for a snowstorm and once for an unexpected other commitment one couple had. Going to try one more time…

    • I’ve had that happen many times, Diane, where we have to keep rescheduling. Sometimes it takes over a year to get the party (group) on the calendar again! Keep trying! :)

  12. My girlfriends and I find we will NEVER get together if we don’t get it on our calendars… so we’ve developed the habit to do that as often as we can. And I push myself to host coffee, book club, etc to get a large group of us together regularly. Like you said: I never regret it! PS ~ I LOVE kale salads… looks delish!

    • So true. The calendar is important to me, too, Kim. Keeps me organzied and makes me plan ahead and invite, and then once it’s on the calendar, I have to follow through. Thanks for sharing!

  13. My husband and I were talking about this very thing last night. I’d say we use all of those reasons to avoid having company and lately we’re both feeling quite convicted to change. I love your motivational posts, they’re my favorite! ( And the salad looks delish!)

    • Aww, thanks Celeste. We all have seasons where it just doesn’t work out to have people over, but it’s good that you recognized that it’s become excuses? It for sure takes effort. Thanks for your honesty!

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