Years ago when I started my blog, I came up with my own set of hospitality rules to help keep me focused and not caught up in the things that can lead women astray … like image, perfectionism, over-doing, worrying …. You know, the things that keep us from becoming a hospitable person. The photo above is of me and my sisters cooking together. We learned years ago to not stress-out over entertaining, particularly from our Mother, who led by example.
When I wrote my book, The Reluctant Entertainer, I decided to put my Ten Commandments in PDF form, for my readers to print out and use.
Why did I feel this was important? Because when I wrote this series about 4 years ago, I got email after email from women who were inspired by my list.
Many women said they printed this list out and hung it inside their kitchen cupboard, or put it on their fridge, to help remind them that hospitality is within reach.
Today I am offering this list to you, for FREE, to print out and do what you need to with it. Hang it, Share it, Use it …
Click on this LINK to print: Reluctant Entertainer’s Ten Commandments, courtesy of Bethany House Publishers
During this 31-Day Series, I’d love to hear what tips you’ve picked up on, and especially if you’ve enjoyed the comments from other readers?
I know I’ve really appreciated the authenticity and openness of everyone! I’ve tried to email many of you back personally, but obviously on yesterday’s post (giveaway!) I had a hard time replying to all the comments. Which brings me to the winner. Nish, from The Outdoor Wife, has won a copy of RE! Congrats, Nish!
Thank you Deanna Garretson, for your fine work in helping me prepare my 10 C’s, and don’t forget to visit my 31-Day Friends …
Chatting at the Sky, Nesting Place, Balancing Beauty and Bedlam, My First Kitchen, Life With My 3 Boybarians, Remodeling This Life, The Inspired Room
Hi, I'm Sandy. Five years ago I stocked up on beautiful glasses from the Dollar Store. As I started writing about dinner parties, I realized that this "icon" portrays a great message. 
I want to share with you some of my favorite places to visit in blog-land, sites that I learn from and am inspired by, and some beautiful friends that I’ve met over the years.
Thank you so much for providing us with your list! I’ll be printing it out to hang on my refrigerator!
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I love your list. It’s so doable. I think we have a tendency to think that we can’t do it but you give people that doubt themselves, the courage to give it a shot.
I’m a comment reader and I always gain insight from comments. That’s why I feel comments are important, for both the blogger and the readers.
Big HUGS to you girlie!
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The series has been huge for me. It really hits home to take the focus off of myself and on to others. Who knew? I just thought entertaining was “not my cup of tea.” I am not creative enough or too little funds are simple excuses. I have started small…literally. We have about 5-7 children visit several days a week ranging in ages from 2-7. I love having their bright, smiling faces sitting around our small dining table. They are easy to entertain and thankful. Hopefully, I will “graduate” to entertaining adults soon. ;0)
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Thank you for sharing the list. #7 “Don’t apologize” hit home, I am my own worst critic when it comes to my baking and cooking. I am a good cook, so when a dish doesn’t quite meet my standards,I feel the need to apologize to my guests. Usually the dish is still good, but off just a bit. I now see how that could make my quests feel uncomfortable. Ouch. I have to remember that my guests are not grading my dishes or even me for that matter. I could probably open a can of beans and have hotdogs and my guests would be happy just to share the meal with good friends. You are a blessing. Thank you for wisdom!!
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There’s a rule about rules that says that if a guideline or requirement is unenforceable, then it’s not worth writing down. These all fall into that category of being highly do-able. Thanks, and thanks for introducing us to your 31-day friends.
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Thank you so much for this list. I think every one of your Cs speaks to me. Entertaining would be so much more enjoyable if I focused more on my guest’s lives and conversation and less on the imperfections. And not bring them to light! Can’t wait for the next gathering at this house!
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Sandy:
Thank you for sharing, not only your wonderful advice, but your love for hospitality, family and friends. I think God works greatest in these areas. We may not think of this as a ministry opportunity, but sharing food at your table is such a loving thing to do, and you’re right it should be stress free. Love your blog Sandy! Thank you
Susi
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Years ago when I first had my own home and started having people over I would spend the WHOLE day cleaning it from top to bottom. Even the places that people would never go. It stressed my out and made me too tired to enjoy the company that was coming. I have since learned to close doors and focus on the people and not how clean my whole house is. Besides, with four kids our guest usually have kids also, so when eveyone leave the house is a mess anyway.
I LOVE the tip of not apologizing. So often I am quick to apologize for something. It is like an uncontrolable reflex that cannot be helped. I have tried working on it and your tip helps to reinforce the importance of it. Thank you!
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Your list is awesome! I have definitely enjoyed everyone’s comments. I think what I’ve learned the most is letting go of perfection and being confident with how I choose to entertain…not comparing myself with others, but creating an atmosphere in my home that is warm and inviting!
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Thank you for the printable list – now I won’t have to tear that page out from the book
This has been a wonderful series – thank you for posting everyday. Maybe you could do an video of you talking about the 10 COH – then we could have your voice in our heads rather than the negative talk we sometimes fall prey to. Something to think about…
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You are one lucky gal to have a mother that lead by example! I did too. She hated cooking. She hated the kitchen. And her own insecurities kept her from EVER having people over as guests. That is a legacy that is nearly impossible to overcome. All 7 of us siblings struggle in this area.
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“Don’t apologize” is a rule I often break, but I am trying to be better. Your commandments are wonderful. I’m still working up the courage to have people other than my family over, but I feel like I’m getting closer!
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I miss you xoxoxoox
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Great list! Hospitaliy is truly a gift that must be learned.
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And here I thought I was the only one that was reluctant to entertain. Just found this blog and love it! I regret not entertaining more but I have such a fear about it. I just printed out the list and see that #1 is where it begins. No accident it starts the list.
It’s not about me…it’s about others. And unless some courage is applied and some skills learned years can go by without enjoying the company of others.
Big thanks for the list. It’s going to be taped on the inside of our kitchen cabinet.
I’ll be checking back often to learn the skill of entertaining. No more regrets…at least when it comes to entertaining and opening up your home.
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My favorite was #10. There is something about sharing a meal with others. When God spoke to Moses about building the first table He told Moses what he wanted the table for. It was to put the Bread of the Presence (Jesus) on the table. The spirit is at each and every table ministering to each person through each conversation. There is healing done at the table through conversation. Face it, it’s the only place people sit in a circle for a minimum of 30 plus minutes looking at each other communicating their needs. Thank you for these Commandments. I will put them to good use. Can’t wait to read your book too!
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Thank you so much for posting this! I have it on my cork board!
*I am a new follower and found you through the Southern Hospitality Blog.
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I love your blog, I just found it last night, not sure how, but whatever….. anyway, I don’t have gatherings that I long for because I feel that my home will be judged, and that its not good enough for guests. Its not new, its average, a bit cluttered at times, and I stress myself out trying to be perfect. I love your advice, and as I get older, turning 50 in December, I want to shed myself of those worries, and become a hostess to people I care about, because in reality, if I care about them enough to have them over, they will surely enjoy the event without judgements, right????
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Just found you through Imparting Grace. What a great idea for a blog! I’m so excited to be following you!
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